A Voice In The Darkness
by Nickeyd26
Summary: What if Edward did not take the dramatic route and wait till noon to step into the sun in Volterra? What if Alice and Bella were incapable of getting to him in time? What if he was not the only casualty of bad timing and misread visions?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1~ When It All Went Wrong**

Alice was frantic as she ran and grabbed her passport, purse and suitcase. She kept mumbling different phrases so fast that even Jasper was unable to understand her. Her mood switched from panicked to mournful to thoughtful and focused in mere seconds. Jasper tried to send her waves of calm but her emotions, as erratic as they were, were too strong to succumb to his gift. Carlisle was at the hospital while Emmett and Esme were in town getting supplies for a new project she was working on. Rose was in the garage and though she could hear Alice's activities, she dismissed it as Alice being Alice. Jasper was getting concerned when she began packing her suitcase.

"Alice darlin', what is going on? What are you doing?"

She stopped abruptly as if she hadn't realized that he had been there watching her for the last several minutes.

"Oh Jasper…it's terrible! I had a vision. It was of Bella."

She paused. She didn't want to say this out loud. Jasper sensed an overwhelming wave of loss and mourning flow from Alice as her eyes glazed over with venom tears. Her lip quivered.

"Oh God Jasper…Bella jumped off a cliff. She's…she's gone, Jasper! Bella is dead!"

She ran into Jasper's arms sobbing tearlessly as he held her to him; caressing her spiky black hair.

"Ali darlin', are you sure? You know your visions aren't always certain. Maybe she just fell and she will be okay." he said in an attempt to give her hope.

Jasper knew what it did to Alice when she had to leave Bella behind. She truly considered Bella her sister.

Alice was shaking her head into his chest.

"No Jazz. She jumped. She didn't even scream or look afraid. She looked sad and tired. She just stepped off the cliff and fell into the water; never resurfacing," she said as she sobbed.

Jasper again sent her waves of calm and this time they helped. She settled down slightly, but her sense of loss was still just as strong.

"I need to go back for Charlie," she spoke into his strong chest, "I need to say goodbye to my sister and try my best to help Charlie through this."

"Do you want me to come with you?" he offered.

She looked up into his golden eyes and saw the love and concern he had for her. She also saw the guilt that had been there everyday since Bella's disastrous birthday party. She ran her hand down the side of his face and cupped his cheek with her palm.

"No," she said shaking her head, "I won't be gone long. Maybe a week or two. Stay here and let everyone know what happened. Esme is going to need you when she hears the news. I will call you when I get to Forks."

Jasper nodded in understanding. Alice never knew how much Bella explained about the family leaving, and Jasper wasn't sure if Charlie put any of the blame on him. He watched her as she latched her suitcase closed. It was only a carry-on since she still had a closet full of clothes at the house in Forks. He pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. He hated to be away from her even for a few days, but he knew that she felt that this was something she had to do. Alice backed away kissing her finger then placing it on his nose. They exchanged a soft smile and seconds later he heard the Ferrari roar to life and speed down their driveway to the main road.

Rosalie was in front of him before the sound of Alice's car was out of ear shot.

"Where was Alice going with a suitcase?"

"Back to Forks," his tone was lifeless.

"Why would she be going back there?" she asked with curiosity laced with distain.

She was never a fan of Forks and even less of one after Edward met Bella. Jasper looked at her and spoke with a bit more maliciousness.

"Bella jumped off a cliff and killed herself. Alice has gone back to say goodbye and help Charlie out in any way she can."

"She what? Why would she do that?"

Jasper shook his head, "Alice hasn't been lookin' in on her since we left. Edward basically forbade her," he paused as he stepped to the window looking in the direction that Alice had gone; maybe hoping to catch a glimpse, "but then a vision hit her hard without her even trying. Bella jumped off a cliff into the water and never came back up."

He spoke as if he was talking about the weather and was just relaying the facts. But inside, his emotions were raging through him. _This is all my fault. If I had not tried to attack her, Edward would have never left her and she would have never killed herself. All my fault._

Rosalie stood there in Jasper and Alice's room stunned by the news. She never wanted Bella to be a part of their family, but she was incredibly sad over her death. She thought back to the times that Esme and Alice had begged her to give Bella a chance since she was Edward's mate. _Edward! Someone needs to tell Edward._

"Jasper, you need to call Carlisle and Esme and let them know."

He nodded, "Where are you going?"

She sighed heavily, "I'm going to call Edward. He needs to know."

Jasper was across the room in a millisecond with his hand on Rosalie's arm, "Don't you think we should wait till we hear from Alice before telling him?"

Rosalie just shook her head, "No, if it was me, I would want to know right away. I think he will be more upset if we wait to tell him. What is going to change between now and when Alice gets to Forks?"

Jasper let go of her arm as she walked at a human pace to her room where she left her phone. Jasper was also in no hurry to deliver this news to Carlisle or Esme. They had considered Bella a part of this family and leaving her had been very hard on them. This was going to break Esme's silent heart.

Jasper hit the speed dial number two on his phone and within two rings it was answered.

"Hello son. How are you?" Carlisle's smooth voice came through the phone.

Jasper stiffened his back preparing himself for the sad news he must convey.

"Carlisle, Alice had a vision and it was not good. It was of Bella," he paused to allow Carlisle a moment to prepare himself. "Bella appears to have jumped off a cliff into the ocean and never resurfaced. She is gone, Carlisle."

There was silence on the other end of the phone. Jasper could hear the sounds of the hospital in the background so he knew the connection was not lost.

Carlisle knew from the moment he heard Jasper's tone that this was not a social call, but he never expected this tragic news. His dead heart felt as if it was breaking into a million pieces. He loved Bella as did the rest of the family. He never thought it was right to leave her, but knowing that Edward had chosen not to change her, he felt leaving was the only option. It is not safe for a human to live amongst their kind indefinitely. He understood Edward's wish for Bella to live a long and normal, human life. But this was not enough. She should have lived to a ripe old age surrounded by her family and friends. The world was robbed of a true treasure with the loss of a soul as good and loving as Bella's. He took a deep breath before responding.

"This is indeed very sad news. Tragic even. We must inform the rest of the family. Who else knows?" Carlisle's voice was laced with sadness.

"Rosalie is calling Edward right now. Alice is already on her way to Forks to be there for Charlie. If you would prefer to tell Esme, I would understand."

Carlisle nodded then verbally responded, "Yes, I think that is best. Thank you Jasper. I will call her and Emmett right now. It is time to go back to Forks and say goodbye."

Jasper may have been miles away from Carlisle, but his emotions were so heavy on the phone that Jasper felt his pain through the center of him.

"Carlisle, I am sorry to have to give you this news."

"Thank you son. We all knew this day would come, but I never expected it so soon. I will see you as soon as I can make arrangements to take the time off."

They ended their phone call as Jasper heard Rosalie's voice carry from her room.

"Edward? Edward? Please say something," she paused, "Edward? This was not your fault. She was human. Death would have found her someday. You know this. Edward, please say something, anything?"

There was a haunting silence that fell upon the house. Then Rosalie heard it. What would be the last word her brother ever spoke to her.

"Goodbye."

The phone disconnected. Jasper was at the door to Rosalie and Emmett's room in a flash as she redialed her phone. It went to voicemail.

"Edward! Please call me back! Call someone back! Please," her voice was frantic, "just call us. We love you Edward."

She hung up and redialed a second time, and again it went to voicemail. She disconnected.

"What have I done?" she asked Jasper as her eyed filled with venom.

"You did what needed to be done. He just needs some time. Come on Rose. Let's get packed. I talked to Carlisle and we are all going back to Forks."

Rosalie nodded and composed herself as she sped around her room packing for her and Emmett.

"I'll get bags packed for Esme and Carlisle too once I am done here."

"Thank you Rose."

Jasper walked back to his and Alice's room at a human pace as he hit the speed dial number four. The generic voicemail answered.

"Edward, I wanted to let you know that I am immensely sorry about Bella and that the family is on their way back to Forks for the funeral. Please call me and let me know that you got this message."

Jasper closed his phone ending his message. He began packing his bag as his guilt started to weigh him down. None of this would have happened if he had hunted the day of Bella's birthday party. He knew he should have, but Alice wanted to make a last minute run into Port Angeles to get some more candles and decorations. _She asked me to go and I never wanted to say no to Alice. When the paper slid through Bella's layers of skin, I heard the blood as it was released into the air. I realized a moment too late what was happening as the blood lust of everyone else compiled on me like the weight of Mount Everest. I couldn't hold it and keep my head clear. Before I knew it, all hell was breaking loose and all I wanted was Bella's blood. If I had hunted, I would have stayed in control. But I didn't and now we are going to bury our human sister._

Jasper was pulled from his self flagellations as he heard a gasp at his door. He turned to see Rosalie grasping the door frame trying to keep herself upright; the wood splintering under her strength. Jasper felt his guilt bouncing off of her and back at himself. He focused on releasing the guilt and worked on forcing a calm façade to take over allowing Rosalie to feel the same. Her breathing went back to normal and she stood back up. She didn't need to be a mind reader to know what he was thinking.

"Jasper, you can't take this all on yourself. So many things went wrong that day. We all knew Edward was doubting his relationship with Bella after the James situation. It was only a matter of time before he killed her or pushed her away," she said as she reached out to grasp his shoulder.

Rosalie was not an affectionate person like Alice or Esme, but she had compassion.

Jasper nodded but said nothing. They turned towards the back of the house as Esme and Emmett made their way in from the garage. Jasper took Esme into his strong arms and held her as she cried tearlessly as Rosalie did the same for Emmett. Emmett may seem to be the strongest and most fierce some of the Cullen's, but he was as tender as they came and he loved Bella as if she was his true sister. They sat quietly in the living room waiting for Carlisle to arrive. Once he did, they would be on their way back to Forks.

Alice arrived at the Swan house a little after dark. There was no one there. There was a lingering wolf scent in the air, but it was at least a day old. She worried about Charlie's safety if he was socializing with the Quileute wolves. She had never interacted with them, but she was familiar with the stories that Carlisle and the others had told.

She sat and waited in the Ferrari, but no one came. She ran over the vision again and again hoping to see it end differently, but each time it was the same. Bella stepped off the cliff. She didn't scream or cry out as she plummeted to the water below. There were waves crashing with the impending storm, and the wind howled unmercifully. There was no sign of Bella breaking the surface. At that point her vision went blank. She wept for the loss of her best friend; her sister. She wished she could have Jasper there with her, but she knew that she would see him when they arrived the next day. She sat in the dark and remembered all the fun she and Bella shared and how much it hurt to abandon her. _I should have stopped Edward from leaving. I never should have agreed to leave with the family. She needed me and I left her because Edward thought it was for the best._ Alice sobbed dry tears as she realized that her vision of a vampire Bella would never come to be. She was gone and no amount of venom could undo that.

Alice took a moment to try and look into Charlie's future and did not see him returning to the house anytime soon. So, she made her way over to the Cullen house to open it up for the family. As she drove she was hit with dual visions. The first one was of Bella. She was alive! She was in her room shivering and getting ready for bed. The other was of a distraught Edward. This vision was fuzzy and switched versions so fast that even with her vampire senses she could not make heads or tails of it. She knew he destroyed his phone so there was no point trying to call him. She would deal with her vision of Bella first. She hit the breaks and spun her car around to race back to Bella's house. When she pulled up she saw the light on in Bella's room and she couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She jumped from the car to the tree and through Bella's window as fast as the wind.

Bella stumbled back in surprise; her heart racing in her chest. Then realizing that it was Alice, she threw herself into the pixie's arms. Alice began demanding to know what happened.

"How are you alive? I saw you jump! What were you doing trying to kill yourself?"

Before Bella could respond to the barrage of question Alice stopped cold. Bella knew she was having a vision and waited for it to finish. The look that crossed Alice's face was one of shear pain and anguish. Alice had another vision of Edward, but this time it was clear and absolutely horrific.

"No! No! Edward, please stop!" Alice cried out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2~ Bad Things Come in Three's**

The vision hit Alice like an eighteen wheeler.

_Edward was walking along the high walls of Volterra until the right moment when he stepped into the sun. There were people around, but before anyone could see him, a large member of the Volturi guard grabbed him and pulled him back to the shadows. When they were concealed, he struggled with the guard for several minutes until another slightly smaller guard came to assist him. Edward foolishly fought hard against the two vampires until they had Edward pinned and just before they tore his head from his shoulders he whispered, 'I'm coming Bella. I love you.'_ _Alice saw the fire sparked and then the vision abruptly stopped._

Alice fell to the ground; her grief overtaking her. Bella kneeled in front of her but couldn't get her attention. Alice pulled her cell phone out with uncharacteristically shaky hands and called someone.

"Carlisle," she spoke into the phone, "I had a vision about Edward."

"Alice? You are breaking up. What was that about Edward?"

There was static on the line.

"Edward is dead. He was killed by two of the Volturi guard."

More static and then the line went dead.

"Carlisle? Carlisle?" Alice yelled into the phone, but there was no response.

She didn't know if they heard her, and even worse, she was unable to tell them that Bella was alive.

Bella slid down the wall next to her bed; numb. _Edward was dead? But he is immortal. He can't be dead._ But before she could finish that thought she saw the sadness in Alice's expression and knew it was true. _ No, no, no, NO! He can't be dead. The world doesn't work if Edward is not in it._ She knew he didn't love her anymore, but she had to have him alive, somewhere. Now he was nowhere. He was not just gone from her world; he was …dead. Bella swallowed hard as the realization of Edward's demise sank in.

Alice and Bella were both drowning in their own pools of anguish. Bella did not see Alice get up and leave the room nor did Alice even notice Bella was in the room before she robotically stepped out into the hall, walked down the stairs and out of the door. She drove to the Forks house to prepare for the rest of her family to arrive. Alice was lost in her pain. She had flashes of visions that showed Esme and Rosalie weeping, but she was thoroughly immersed in her own emotions. She knew the rest of the family would be getting to the house before sunrise so she busied herself with opening the house. Other visions popped in and out, but she didn't take notice. Her brother was gone and she was too late to save him.

She was heartbroken over the loss of her brother. She and Edward always shared a special bond. It may have begun because of their unique gifts, but in the end they really, truly loved each other like siblings. She sped around the house opening rooms and removing dust covers from the furniture. She cleaned the house from top to bottom just to keep herself from wallowing in her pain. She missed Jasper desperately and yearned for the peace that his mere presence brought her. She found herself outside of Edward's room and she pressed her hand to door; feeling each grain in the wood. She wanted to go inside, but she couldn't bring herself to turn the knob. _Edward, why, why did you do this? Jasper, I need you._

Alice was so focused on her need for Jasper and her hurt over losing Edward that she was completely unaware of the additional tragedy that was to befall her family. She hadn't even noticed Bella had overheard her conversation with Carlisle.

Bella remained on the floor by her bed as the words 'Edward is dead' wrapped around her heart like barbed wire. They were everywhere. They hung in the air and carried over her and crashed down on her soul. She felt pinned to the floor. She couldn't breathe as the realization that Edward was truly gone hit her like a freight train. He was gone. There would be no memorial or grave site to visit. It would be, as he had once said, 'as if he never existed'. Bella was pulled from her thoughts by the sound of the front door shutting and a car engine revving up. She knew Alice had left; which she expected her to do from the moment she saw her in her room. Alice never did explain why she came, but it didn't matter. She was gone; most likely back to the rest of the family. '_The family'_; Bella thought they would be her family one day, but no more. There was no Edward. There were no Cullen's. She was alone. Renee had basically abandoned her and Charlie…Charlie was just not enough of a reason for her to stay.

Bella sat through the night as she daydreamed about Edward and the life she had hoped they would have had together. Even when he left, those dreams had kept her company for a long while. She imagined what it would be like to hunt with him and run with him and make love with him. If she was honest with herself, there was a part of her that had still held out hope that Edward would return to make those dreams come true.

Bella was unsure of how long she sat there, but when she was cognizant of the world around her, she realized that the sun was high in the sky. She scoffed at the irony of the fact that if Edward were still here, he would be hidden away today due to the bright sunlight. Now that didn't matter; nothing did.

This was the end of the line for Bella. She had seen enough to know that life without even the possibility of love like the kind she had with Edward was not worth living. She went to stand and as she pressed down on the floor a loose board gave way. Under it she found the things she thought Edward had taken from her. Her pictures, the CD he made for her and even the note he left her telling her to 'be safe'. She held them to her chest. They were all she had left of him. She left her room and walked numbly down the stairs to the kitchen. She grabbed a pad of paper and a pen and began to write; her hand was incredibly steady.

**Charlie,**

**It is time for me to go. Thank you for taking me in and for loving me. Please don't look for me. Just know that I am going to be exactly where I want to be. Be careful.**

**Love,**

**Bella**

She left the note on the counter and grabbed her keys with her right hand as her left clenched her only reminders of Edward. She slowly trudged out the door as the sun ducked behind a wall of clouds. She got into her truck and headed down the road. She never looked back as she drove to the meadow. _Too bad Laurant is dead. He could be useful right now._ She sardonically thought to herself.

As she drove her mind recounted all her happiest memories of her time with Edward. She smiled as she thought back to him taking a huge bite of pizza when they had lunch together. Or about the first time they went to the meadow dressed in the same attire. She would not let her mind remember him leaving or the past four months. She thought about dancing with him at prom and how his cold lips felt against hers. Before she knew it she was at the mouth of the trail. She got out and left the keys in the ignition. She walked as if in a trance. Her body seemed to know where to take her, and she just went with it. It was ironic that she never tripped or stumbled once during the hour it took her to get to the meadow. She went to the center of the natural circle and fell to her knees. She clawed at the dirt with her fingers. It was hard and cold, but she was able to make a small divot that was big enough to hold her treasures. She placed the note inside the hole followed by the pictures. She traced her finger along his sculpted chin as she whispered, "I love you Edward. I will be with you soon." She kissed his image and set the pictures on top of the note.

She opened the CD case and removed the disc. She bent it away from her cracking it into three jagged pieces. She took two of them and placed them in the case in the ground. She took the last piece and held it against the skin of her inner wrist. She pressed it in and felt the pain as she dragged it down and across the length of her vein. Her blood began to pour down her arm as the scent of the salty rust filled the air. She held her breath so as to not pass out. She passed the shard to her left hand a made a similar incision down her right forearm. The pain seemed less intense and she smiled at that. She placed the remaining piece of CD in the ground as her blood coated the other occupants. She swept her hand over the dirt she had removed; burying her last mortal possessions. She looked up and the sun broke through the clouds once more. Bella smiled lazily up at the bright rays that shown down upon her. _It's nice to see it one last time._

Her mind grew fuzzy. She tried to remember what Edward looked like in the sun. Her hands felt cool on the inside yet warm on the outside from the pooling blood. She felt her balance give way as she slumped to the ground. Her legs were bent at an awkward angle, but she couldn't bring herself to care. She felt at peace. There was a small part of her brain that told her that this was wrong, but she chose to ignore it and let the warm comfort embrace her instead. She looked to her side and Edward was there. He sparkled in the sun just like that first time. He smiled at her just like he did that day. She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but her lips wouldn't move. She tried to reach out to him, but her hand refused to honor the command. She turned her head to look at the sun, but it was no longer yellow. It had faded to black. She closed her eyes and let her blood; her life force seep into the dirt around her. She felt incredibly tired so she closed her eyes and dreamed her last dream.

The Cullen's pulled into the long familiar driveway just before sunrise, exactly as Alice had seen. She ran directly into Jasper's arms as the family came together. She felt his love and empathy pour into her allowing her to feel just how sorry he was for her losses; not only her best friend but her brother as well. Jasper had cared for Edward, but they never had the kind of kinship that Alice had with him.

Esme seemed beyond any form of consolation. She reached over and touched Carlisle's arm.

"I am going to go lie down for a while. This is all too much."

He reached his hand up to cup her beautiful pale cheek, "Do you want me to come with you?" he asked.

She shook her head, "No. I need to be alone for a while," she paused, "I love you, Carlisle. I have always loved you. You know that, right?"

He nodded, "I love you too; with everything that I am," he said as she kissed him before walking into the house.

She looked back as she stepped onto the porch. She hoped they would be okay someday. _At least they still have each other, but_ _I have nothing left to give them._

She walked through the house letting the good memories wash over her. She could almost picture Edward sitting at his piano playing her song with Bella sitting by his side. She smiled at the memory. She carefully guarded her intentions as she wafted through the house. Her hand glided along the top of the dining room table remembering the last time her whole family sat around it. It was the night they decided to leave Forks. She quickly pushed away that painful memory and pulled a new one in its place. She thought about the first time Bella came over and they tried to make her dinner. She continued through to the kitchen where she picked up a lighter and headed out the back door. She stepped to the edge of the woods and set some brush on fire.

She hoped that she did still have her soul and maybe she would get to see her baby boy she lost all those years earlier. Maybe she might even be able to find Edward or Bella on the other side. Losing one child was too much to endure as a human; losing two more children was her ruination. None of the others could understand a mother's love and a mother's anguish over that kind of loss.

Just as she stepped into the flames she heard Alice scream her name. That was the last thing she heard as she saw her family rush towards her. She closed her eyes to their pain and let the flames carry her away.

Carlisle rushed to her, but Emmett and Jasper held him back. It was too late and they didn't want to lose him too. Carlisle screamed out in agony; his voice echoing against the surrounding forest. Jasper lost his grip on him and collapsed to the ground. The pain Carlisle was feeling rushed through Jasper and it was too much to handle. Alice was by his side. She cradled his head sending love and empathy to him; hoping to counteract some of the pain he was absorbing. Carlisle was on his knees pounding his fists to the ground as he cried out. Emmett stood with his hand firmly on his father's shoulder as dry sobs wrecked his body. Rose held back from everyone else. She wrapped her arms around her abdomen trying to ground herself in the moment and not lose control. Sadness and loss gripped her. Her guilt was palpable and Jasper turned her way.

"Rose," he called her softly, "This is not your fault. There is no way that you could have known losing Edward and Bella would push Esme to this."

Alice gasped and brought both hands to her mouth. The others turned towards her with the exception of Carlisle. He was stone still staring into the dying pyre that took his wife.

"What is it Alice?" Jasper inquired.

"Bella. She's alive!"

This caught Carlisle's attention and now all eyes were trained on Alice.

Emmett spoke first, "What do you mean she's alive?" He felt hope as he waited for Alice to explain.

Alice recounted her dual vision of Bella in her room and Edward, in what she now knew was Italy, before he decided to kill himself. She explained how she had a clear vision of Edward's demise while she was in Bella's bedroom with her.

"I left her to come here." Alice's voice trailed off as the realization of her actions set in.

"You left her alone?" Emmett bellowed. His anger was obvious.

"I…I…I wasn't thinking. I went from being confused to grateful that Bella was alive to the vision of Edward being torn apart and burned! All I could think about was needing Jasper."

Emmett cut her off, "Does she know about Edward? Did you tell her?"

"Um, I don't know. I didn't tell her, but she may have been in the room when I called Carlisle."

Emmett was in her face instantly separated only by Jasper who had finally gotten the flow of emotions under control enough to take a defensive position between his mate and his brother.

"Can you see her now? Is she at home?" he demanded.

Alice opened her mind and focused on Bella. She was sitting on the floor of her room. She was curled in a ball with her arms wrapped around her legs. She was still dressed in the same clothes she had been wearing when Alice left; tears streamed down her face. Alice shook her head out of the vision.

"She is at home in her room. She knows about Edward," she confirmed with finality.

Emmett made to leave and go to Bella. He wanted to bring her home to the family, but Rosalie stopped him.

"Wait. Leave her alone to deal with this on her own. Give her some time. Give _us_ some time. She deserves to morn in peace before we hit her with the news of..." she trailed off as her eyes drifted to Carlisle who had turned back to face the embers.

Emmett saw the grief and guilt in her eyes and knew she needed him now. He put his arm around her shoulder and they silently walked into the house. Jasper and Alice stood looking down at their father as he kneeled in front of the smoldering ashes that was once his wife, his love, his rock. _How can I go on without her? I knew the loss of Edward was her undoing. Maybe I was wrong to save her all those years ago when she threw herself off that cliff after her baby had died. As strong as she may have appeared as an immortal, inside she was so very, very fragile._

"Rest in peace my beloved. Take care of our Edward." He whispered into the wind.

Alice placed a hand on his shoulder which he reached up to grab in his own. No words could consol him, but that simple gesture let him know that he was not alone in his grief. He squeezed her hand one more time before getting to his feet. The three of them walked solemnly into the house that was once a home to them, but now felt empty and hollow without two of their family members.

Alice and Jasper sat together on the couch across from where Emmett held Rosalie on its twin.

Carlisle went to take a shower so as to not soil the home Esme had taken so much pride in. He turned the water on not paying attention to the temperature before stepping in. It didn't matter. He felt numb from the pain he had endured over the last several hours. Edward was gone. His first son; his companion was dead. It had been nearly four months since he had seen him, but he held strong to the belief that he would see him again. He knew Edward was hurting, but Carlisle hoped that he would eventually rejoin the family. He thought of Edward playing him in chess or debating over new medical discoveries, and he felt his chest ache with phantom pain. Edward was the son every father hoped to have. He was intelligent and inquisitive. He had a good and pure soul no matter how much he denied that fact. His son was gone and he was left to walk this earth for eternity with that fact. The saying was true; a parent should never outlive his child.

He walked into his room and the pain was overwhelming. He saw all the little things that Esme had done to make this place their own. He felt his dead heart break again. They had shared nearly eighty years together, but it seemed like a blink in the timeline that was his existence on this planet. His mind flipped through memory after memory of their life together. Him finding and changing her, the first time she said she loved him, their wedding, their first time together intimately, hunting trips, trips to the island. There were so many wonderful memories. She had given him so much. She made this family work as such. They were never a coven. They were a family, and they were this because of the love she gave them all. He sat on the seat at the end of their bed with a towel around his waist as he wept in silence.

Jasper groaned slightly and shifted his weight. Alice turned to take in his pained expression.

"What is it Jazzy?"

"Carlisle." Was all he needed to say.

He attempted to throw waves of calm and serenity towards his and Esme's room, but it did little to alleviate the pain radiating from Carlisle. Alice tried to sooth him, but then she froze as the air was sucked from her lungs. Jasper felt her emotions change from shock to dread then to terror mixed with panic. Before he could ask her what was wrong she screamed out.

"Carlisle!"

**A/N**

**Suicide is a very serious issue and should never be taken lightly. If you are contemplating taking your life, Please don't. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Please call the ****National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or go online at ****www.****suicide****.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3~ A Race Against Time**

"Carlisle!"

He was in the living room in a flash; fighting to get his sweater over his head fast enough. He was dressed in a pair of Dockers with a polo shirt under the sweater.

"Alice, what is it?" his voice full of concern.

"It's Bella! She's dying!"

Jasper was holding her shoulders trying to intensify his gift as he attempted to balance her panic with his calm.

"Where is she, Alice?" Emmett called out as he joined the others in front of her.

"She's in the meadow; Edward's meadow." They looked at her in confusion before she continued. "The one off of Route 101."

Emmett didn't hesitate to race for the door with Jasper and Carlisle fast on his heels. He was not going to lose his little sister after everything that had happened. He reached for the door…

"STOP!" Alice demanded, "You can't all go! She cut her wrists. There is blood everywhere! If you all go, you will kill her!"

They froze in place at her words. Jasper felt his own panic rise. As much as he wanted to help, he knew what happened last time and there was no way that he would risk Bella like that again. He found himself backing away from the door without making the conscious decision to do so.

"I can handle it." Emmett said with determination.

Alice shook her head, "No Emmett, you can't." she turned towards Carlisle. "You need to go alone. That is the only way to save her."

Rosalie rushed to his office for his black doctor's bag and forced it into his open hand a second later. He looked into her soulful, golden eyes and saw her silent plea. _Please save her, Carlisle. We can't lose her too. _ He let his free hand rest on hers for a moment conveying his understanding and his promise to do all that he could. Then he turned back to Alice.

"What is the fastest way for me to get to her, Alice?"

Alice felt blessed that Edward had shared this place with her. If he hadn't, she would never have been able to determine where in the miles of forest Bella would be.

"Follow the path along the river till it forks by the large patch of Sitka trees with the cracked boulder that Emmett hit, then go to your left. Follow the trail about six miles and the scent of her blood will lead you to her. Hurry Carlisle! I didn't see this in time. She is already fading. Go!"

The keening sound of the wooden frame of the door echoed through the house as Carlisle ripped it off the hinges not caring what damage he left in his wake. He flew through the woods pushing his body to unprecedented speeds. The air screamed past him as he cut through the forest. Nothing was left standing in his wake. His clothes tore as he ripped branches off their trunks. Boulders exploded into millions of shards as he plowed into them. He had one thought and one thought only. _I must save our Bella_. He didn't question his motives; he only focused on saving her life.

He came to the group of Sitkas and the cracked boulder then immediately veered left. He ran even harder and faster. His body had the grace of a gazelle but the destructive power of ten charging bulls. The smell of her blood hit him like a brick wall causing him to stumble back for a split second. He composed himself and continued on his race against time. The sound of her heartbeat slowing down rang in his ears like the toll of a great clock. She was fading fast. Just then he breeched the line of trees that opened into the meadow. The smell of her sweet blood hung in the air like a dense fog. He had been exposed to it before, but not at this magnitude. He understood why Alice insisted that the others stay behind. There was no way they could have fought temptation and he would have had to struggle to stop them while trying to save her life. It wasn't often that the smell of human blood caused the burn in his throat to rise above the constant low hum that he was always aware of, but this was different. If felt like he swallowed hot lava. Carlisle was distracted from his thirst when he saw her. She was lying in the center of the clearing; unmoving with the exception of her chestnut hair blowing in the soft breeze. He was by her side in an instant; assessing her wounds and her vitals. He could tell she had lost a significant amount of blood; possibly too much for her small stature. He attempted to wake her up.

"Bella. Bella, sweetheart, please wake up for me. Please," he begged her as he examined her wounds.

They were deep; straight to the vein. She had sliced diagonally from her wrist to just before the crook of her elbow; ensuring that she severed the vein. He knew this was not a 'cry for help'. This was an honest to goodness attempt to end her life. He would not allow that. He had already lost too much, and he refused to lose her too. Carlisle took a deep breath that caused the fire in his throat to burn once more, and with as much strength as he could muster, demanded that she acknowledge him.

"Damn it Bella, you will wake up! I will not let you go!"

Her eyes fluttered then opened slowly but only part of the way. She saw skin that sparkled in the sun giving the illusion of a glowing ora and intense golden eyes. She knew he was with her and would bring her home. She gave a feeble smile as her body was so weak.

"Edward," was all she said before she passed back out.

"No sweetheart, it's not Edward," he spoke as he grabbed supplies from his bag, "I am here, and I am going to help you. Today is not your day to die. I will not allow it." He said with conviction.

He worked at lightning speed; tearing the sleeves of her shirt off from the shoulders and tossed them aside. He put a compression wrap on her left forearm while he worked on the right. He took a syringe and injected a high dose antibiotic into her upper arm. He made quick work of the internal stitches to seal the vein and surrounding muscle she had severed. He closed the wound with small measured stitches that would hopefully leave her with as little scarring as possible. He knew that he could use his venom to close the cut faster, but he also knew that it would leave a very noticeable scar. His fingers were dexterous and perfectly accurate. It took him less than a minute to complete the eighty-five stitches necessary to seal her arm closed. He wrapped it in gauze to keep the wound clean before doing the same to her left arm.

As he finished with her stitches he focused on counting her respirations and heart beats. Her heart and lungs were both terribly weak from the loss of blood. He needed to get an IV into her to increase her fluids immediately. He started thinking about the logistics of getting her a blood transfusion without taking her to a hospital. He could tell by the scent that she was O-positive. He flipped open his phone and dialed as he clipped the Bluetooth to his ear. Alice answered before the end of the first ring.

"Tell me what you need," she answered.

"Alice, go to my office and in the bottom drawer of my desk you will find a file marked 'WA-826'. I need you to forge a request form for medical supplies for three units of O-positive blood and fax it to the blood bank." Carlisle could hear as she did what he asked. Alice and all the others had perfected forging each others hand writing years prior for just such an occasion. Carlisle continued as he heard the paper being fed into the fax machine, "I need you to go and pick it up and drop it off at the house," he explained as he gingerly lifted Bella from the cold ground and cradled her in his arms. "I need everyone out of the house. Tell them to go hunt big game so their tolerance is as high as possible. I have her cuts closed, but the smell of her blood is still incredibly strong."

"I'm already on it, Carlisle. Jasper and Rose have headed north to hunt, and Emmett is on his way to the blood bank. He and I will head out once he gets back. We will leave the blood in the kitchen and then head out. Emmett and Jasper captured two white tail deer for you earlier and have them tied up out back. You need to feed as soon as you get back."

"Alice…" he tried to protest but she cut him off.

"Trust me Carlisle; you need to feed as soon as you get back. Bella will be fine in the house for the few minutes you need. Just don't put her in Edward's room."

"Thank you Alice," he spoke as he ran through the forest.

"You're welcome Carlisle. Thank you for saving my sister."

The line went dead as he carefully ran through the forest back to the house. He secured Bella against his marble chest so as to not jostle her or tear her sutures open. His arms were around her back and under both knees. Her arms were crossed in front of her chest while her head rested on his shoulder. He felt her warm breath against the cold skin of his neck. He had not been this close to a human since he was one. He looked down at her face. He thought she looked like an angel as she slept in his arms. Her blood had saturated his sweater and shirt and now was soaking into his pants as well. The smell of her blood mixed with the tears that had run dry over her cheeks and into the collar of her shirt. His heart ached for the pain he and his family had caused her. It would be so easy to blame Edward, but it was all of their faults. _We never should have left her the way we did. We abandoned her in the worst possible way. Never again._ He thought as he brushed his lips against the crown of her head.

"I will never leave you behind again," he promised her as he made it to the clearing behind the house.

He stepped into the back door and quickly made his way into his and Esme's room. He laid her gently on the bed. He noticed the light blue velour set at the end of the bed. _Alice._ He didn't feel it was right for him to change her clothing, but there was no one else who could do it.

"Bella, I need to get you out of these clothes, sweetheart. I promise I will not harm you." He whispered to her still form.

He removed her sneakers and placed them on the floor. He carefully tore her jeans and what remained of her shirt off of her body. She did not make any noise or movement. Thankfully her undergarments were untainted by her blood. He gingerly sat her up and pulled the new shirt over her head; being wary not to disturb her injuries. He laid her back down before slipping the matching pants over her legs. She was much thinner than she was last time he had seen her. He also noticed the dark circles under her eyes making him think she was undernourished and not sleeping well. He shook his head of these thoughts as he focused on the matter at hand.

He ran to the kitchen and fetched the bags of blood. He was grateful that Alice and Emmett were able to obtain them so quickly. He inserted the needle and let the new blood flow into her veins. In the other arm he inserted a second IV that was warm saline. There were certain supplies he began keeping in the house when Bella became a part of their family. He was thankful that he had left many of them in the house when they left all those months prior.

He opened the IV all the way and watched the fluids pour into her body. He stood back and listened for several minutes. Then he heard her heart begin to strengthen. It was a minute change; one that a human would not be able to detect, but he could. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Grabbing clean clothes he went to the bathroom to shower quickly and change. He went back to his room and collected the remnants of Bella's outfit and took the blood stained clothes out back to burn. He saw the two deer that had been left for him and felt the burn that had not let up since he entered the meadow. He dropped the clothes and darted across the yard taking down the large buck first then turning to the slightly smaller doe. He released the drained body from his steel grasp and it lay on the ground at his feet. He felt restored as he sent a silent prayer to God to accept his creatures home and to thank Him for their sacrifice. It was a ritual that he had adopted from his first meal as a vampire and had done each time after.

He quickly buried the bodies in the woods before returning to his task at hand. He set the clothes into the outside fireplace and lit them on fire. Once the flames dwindled down he headed back to the house and to Bella. He washed his hands before walking back to his room. Her face held more color and her respiration rate was stronger. He changed out the empty IV bags for fresh blood and more saline.

Carlisle opened the windows of his room to allow the clean air to wash the blood scent away. He pulled out a down blanket to wrap around Bella and turned up the heat to keep the chill off of her. Soon it was time to change out the last bags of blood and saline. He pulled a chair over from the corner of the room to the side of the bed. He sat and counted her heartbeats and realized they were nearly back to a normal resting pattern. He smiled in relief knowing that she would be fine.

An hour later the IV's were removed and Bella appeared to be resting comfortably. He leaned forward resting his head over his folded hands and thanked God for sparing her this day. He felt exhausted; if that was even possible for a vampire. He had been through so much. In his three hundred years on this earth, he couldn't remember a more traumatic and wearing twenty-four hours.

Carlisle heard the rest of his family return several hours later. Jasper opted to stay in the living room not wanting to tempt himself since Bella's wounds were still so fresh. Rosalie stood in the doorway; her guilt weighed heavy upon her. She wanted to see how Bella was doing, but didn't feel it was right to be any closer to her.

"How is she?" Emmett asked as he stepped into the room.

Carlisle gave a small smile and nodded, "She is much better thanks to you and Alice. The donated blood made all the difference."

Emmett smiled at the welcome good news, "I'm going to go help Jasper fix the front door. We stopped at the hardware store after we hunted and picked up a replacement."

Carlisle nodded, "Thank you for taking care of that."

Alice smiled as she came around to the other side of the bed. She sat down and reached for Bella's hand. She held it gently as she stroked the back of it.

"She'll wake up in three and a half more hours." She said assuredly.

As if she was set on Alice's own alarm clock, three hours and thirty minutes later Bella began to stir. She opened her eyes and looked up into the three pairs of golden eyes around her, but none of them were the ones she was looking for. She looked down at her arms and saw the bandages that covered her cuts that she remembered making. Her heart began to speed up to a dangerously fast pace while her breathing shortened into pants. Instantly Jasper was in the doorway throwing calm at everyone but especially Bella. It might as well been nothing as it bounced right back at him.

"No! No! No! No! No! No! Nooooooooooo!" she wailed, "What have you done?" she screamed at Carlisle as she thrusts her arms out in his direction. "I was going to be with Edward! Why did you stop me? Why?"

Before anyone could respond to her, a blood curdling scream ripped through her as Jasper was brought to his knees by her agony. Alice was torn between her mate and her best friend. Carlisle was next to Bella in a split second holding her upper arms to keep her still as Alice went to Jasper. She lifted him up and ran him out of the house and away from Bella. Rosalie curled into Emmett's arms and wept. She did not have Jasper's gift, but she could feel Bella's pain as if it was her own.

Bella continued to scream until her lungs were burning with the need for oxygen. Carlisle tried to calm her but nothing he said could sooth her. Tears streamed down her face as her eyes darkened with soul shattering agony. Finally the screaming stopped and Bella fell limp under his unyielding grip. Her vitals drastically dropped and it was near silent in the room.

Carlisle tried to rouse her but she didn't respond. Alice and Jasper were back in the room and Alice was immediately at Bella's side.

"Carlisle, what happened? I can't see her future anymore. It was like it just stopped and now all I get is fog. I can't see her Carlisle! I can't see her with us. I can't see an end like I did with Edward and Esme. I can't see anything but fog! What's wrong?" Alice spat out at vampire speed.

"I can't feel her anymore either," Jasper spoke up, "Her emotions are void. There is nothing there; no happiness or sadness or pain. There is just nothing."

All four of them looked to Carlisle for an answer, but he didn't have one to give. He looked back down at the emotionally broken human girl in front of him and shook his head.

"I don't know."

**A/N**

Stephanie Myer never clarifies what blood type Bella is so I used my own writer's discretion with that little tidbit.

Suicide is a very serious issue and should never be taken lightly. If you are contemplating taking your life, please don't. Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Please call the **National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255** or go online at www.**suicide**.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4~ Exodus**

_Bella's eyes fluttered open and she saw wildflowers blooming around her. Their gentle scent filled her nose as she took a deep breath in. She realized that she was back in the meadow. She didn't know how she got back there. She sat up and took in the beauty of the day. The meadow was in full bloom with multicolored wildflowers all around her. The air was warm on her face. It didn't seem like January; it was more like May or June. She turned her head to try and observe more of her surroundings when she sucked in a sudden breath as her hand shot up to cover her mouth. Edward was sitting next to her. Her eyes were telling her one thing but her mind said it wasn't possible. She wanted to believe her eyes. He was as perfect as ever. He was wearing one of his usual button down shirts with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was tussled in its casually sexy way. The sun was hidden so he wasn't sparkling, but his smile was as dazzling as ever. She took her hand away from her mouth and slowly reached out to touch his face. Her hand cupped his chiseled cheek and he leaned into it. He was there. He was really there. _

_Edward slowly stood up in the tall grass and reached his hand out to her. She took it as he helped her to stand. She looked at her arms and there were no scars. She could have sworn that she had cut herself._

_Edward brought her attention back to him as he gathered her into his strong embrace. She relaxed into his chest as she breathed in the scent that was uniquely Edward. It felt like forever since she had smelled him and felt his body so close to hers. She remembered him leaving and wanted to ask him about it, but before she could he answered her unspoken question._

"_I only left because I wanted you to live a normal human life. I never stopped loving you."_

_She had heard his voice a dozen times since he had left, but she had never seen him or felt him. This was different. She could feel his chest expand under her cheek as he breathed in and out. She wanted so much for him to be real. She couldn't help but question why he came back._

"_Because you needed me. I will always be here as long as you need me."_

_Again, she never voiced her question. She didn't want to speak and break the spell. She loved hearing the beautiful sound of his voice. Could he read her mind?_

"_Yes, Bella. I can read your mind." He said softly as he brushed his lips against her hair._

_She closed her eyes as she thought the one thing that had played over and over in her mind since he left. The one thing she would beg of him if given the chance. "Please don't leave me again," she whispered._

"_Never," he said, "I will be here with you for as long as you need me."_

_Bella sighed in relief. She snuggled into his chest as his marble like arms wrapped securely around her. She felt at peace for the first time in months. The hole in her chest was gone. She didn't want to question how she got here or what had happened. She was just going to stay in the moment as long as she could. This was exactly where she wanted to be._

Carlisle and the others looked on as Bella continued to sleep in his and Esme's bed. His original theory was that between the blood loss and emotional trauma that Bella just needed time to recuperate. However, by the next morning she still failed to wake up. Carlisle and Alice each took turns calling her name to rouse her. He even used smelling salts, but there was no reaction. Alice was sitting by her side desperately trying to see any part of Bella's future, but it remained a dense fog. She was so incredibly frustrated by her malfunctioning sight. Then a vision hit her out of nowhere. She stopped breathing as the scene played out in her mind. Jasper was by her side as she came back to the present.

"What is it, darlin'? Were you able to see Bella?"

"No," she shook her head, "But we can't wait for her to wake up. We need to leave now! Charlie is on his way here. He is hoping that he will find Bella here. He doesn't want to believe what Sam and Jacob told him."

Carlisle stood quickly, "How long, Alice?"

"Twenty-five minutes."

They were as still as statues for a moment looking to Carlisle. He quickly came up with a plan of action.

"Emmett and Rose, drive the cars up and off the property. Park them on the abandoned road that leads to the dilapidated cabin on the other side of the river. Wait for us there." He said decisively.

Emmett and Rosalie were out of the room like a shot. The engines purred to life before Carlisle turned to the others.

"Jasper, I need you to rake the driveway and make it look like no one has driven here since we left. Alice re-cover everything on the main floor. Shut off the water, heat and electric then lock the front door."

Jasper was gone once he had his instructions, but Alice paused.

"What about Bella?" she asked as she looked at her sleeping friend.

Carlisle was in the closet grabbing a duffle bag and packing her sneakers and the spare clothes Alice had placed on the dresser. Then he wrapped her in a warm comforter before picking her up and cradling her securely to his chest.

"I've got her. I will run her to the cars. I need you to go into Edward's room and in his safe there are documents for Bella under the name 'Masen'. Grab them. Make sure to have the birth certificate, driver's license and passport."

Alice nodded as she realized Carlisle was referring to the documents that Edward had J. Jenks create just in case Bella needed to leave with them on a moments notice. Ironic that when he ran, he ran away from her instead of with her. She was on the third floor within a human heartbeat and was standing outside Edward's door. She paused as she reached for the door knob. She steadied herself as she walked in. Edward's scent still lingered in the air and it made Alice ache for her lost brother. She rushed to his desk and pulled his key for the safe in his closet. She quickly found the documents she was looking for and then closed and relocked the safe. She headed back downstairs to undo all her work from the day before. She heard Carlisle talking to Bella as if she was a child.

"We need to leave here, sweetheart. I promise no harm will come to you. We will keep you safe. We are taking you to our home in Canada. It is beautiful there. There is untainted wilderness as far as the eye can see. It is the perfect place for you to heal. We will never leave you again, I promise."

It broke Alice's heart to realize how much pain everyone around her was in. She pushed her emotions down as she focused on her current responsibilities. She went out back and saw Carlisle jumping the expanse of the river as she went about shutting the utilities off once more. She swiftly made her way through the downstairs lowering shades and throwing dust sheets on all the furniture. She made her way to each room erasing any signs that they had been there at all. Just as she finished she heard the sound of Charlie's patrol car turning off the main road. She locked the back door behind her and followed Carlisle's trail over the river. She was then face to face with Jasper in front of the Mercedes. Carlisle was in the back seat with Bella while Rose and Emmett were in her Ferrari.

"We are going to drive with Carlisle and Bella. Rose is going to drive your car, okay darlin'?"

Alice nodded, "Let's go. I can see Charlie is going to spend a few minutes looking around the outside of the house before giving up. If we leave now, we will be at the boarder before he stumbles upon her truck. Poor Charlie." She sighed.

Jasper kissed her nose and then they were in the car and on their way. The main concern was getting out of Forks and away from the Quileute's before there was a confrontation. Alice was not convinced that Jacob would not seek them out even though he believed that Bella was either dead or one of them by now.

Bella continued to sleep in Carlisle's arms as they approached the boarder. She did not show any signs of coming to the entire time. He just continued to hold her close and stroke her back in what was meant to be a comforting gesture.

Carlisle was thankful they made it over the boarder with little fanfare. He used the excuse that Alice saw being successful which was very near the truth. He explained that Bella was in an emotionally induced catatonic state and that they had gone to retrieve her and take her home with them to see a specialist in Canada. It was sheer luck that Charlie had opted not to push through a missing person's report in Bella's name. The guard seemed a little leery about letting them pass, but then Jasper sent him loads of trust and honesty until he finally smiled back at the group of them and allowed them to enter the northern country.

They all seemed to relax more as they put Forks further and further behind them. Alice had focused in on Charlie. She kept hitting blind spots which she believed was related to his interactions with the wolves.

"I think we are in the clear, Carlisle. I don't see Charlie coming anywhere near the border." She said quietly.

Concern etched her face as she watched her best friend lay curled up on the back seat; her head and shoulders draped across Carlisle's lap. He looked up and attempted to give her a reassuring smile.

"Thank you, Alice. I think once we get home we will all feel a little more at ease."

He unconsciously began to caress Bella's long chestnut hair. It seemed lack luster and more brittle then it had when they left. A few strands came out with his gentle strokes. He began to wonder what Bella's life had been like for the last four months. _Had she stopped eating and sleeping? Had we underestimated her attachment to our family? To Edward?_

Alice had turned back around and Jasper reached across the center consol and offered his hand to her. He knew she needed comfort right now more than anything. She sighed as she accepted all he had to give. She reached her free hand forward and turned on the XM radio. Melissa Etheridge's raspy voice filled the silence of the car. The lyrics seemed eerily on target to the current situation.

'_Come on baby, let's get out of this town_

_I got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down_

_There's a chill in my bones, I don't want to be left alone_

_So baby you can sleep while I drive…'_

Alice let herself get lost in the words only to be pulled into the quiet whispers from the back seat.

"I am so sorry we left you, Bella. We never meant to hurt you. I can see now that we were so wrong to do that. I hope some day that you can forgive us."

This went on for some time before she noticed the tone and tense of his pleading changed.

"I am so sorry for the pain my decision has caused you. I hope there is a chance that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I will never leave you again. I will be here for you until the end of time. I will do everything within my power to help you to heal. I will be whatever you need me to be. Please Bella, just wake up and I will give you every thing that I have; everything that I am."

Jasper tightened his grip on both the steering wheel and Alice's hand simultaneously as he felt the mix of guilt and longing radiating off of Carlisle. Alice may not have understood the emotions Jasper was receiving at that moment but she sent him her love and reassurance to try and balance it out. Jasper relaxed again and smiled at the love of his existence. He tried not to think about what he would do if he lost her the way Carlisle and Bella had lost their mates. He knew that Edward left Bella because he wanted her safe, but he also felt the anguish it caused him to leave his love behind.

The ride up to the house was quiet after that. They drove through Corman Park to the far side of town where their most recent home lay in wait. What would take a human near twenty-three hours to drive took them a little over twelve. With driving across two time zones they arrived at the house around ten at night. Rosalie and Emmett had beaten them there by mere minutes and had gone about the tasks of turning on lights and starting a fire in the fireplace. Carlisle secured the blanket around Bella and carried her into the house. He sat with her on the couch facing the roaring fire.

"We're home Bella. I really hope you are comfortable here." Carlisle whispered in her ear.

The rest of the family stood around watching in concern.

"Did she wake up at all on the trip?" Emmett inquired.

"No," Alice said sullenly.

"Are you still not able to feel her emotions?" he asked Jasper.

Jasper shook his head in a negative response.

"And you still can't see her future at all?" he pleaded to Alice.

"No. As close or far as I try and look, I see nothing but fog. The only thing I can think of is that she is not making any decisions and therefore has no future in mind. I am hoping that will change once she wakes up."

Emmett sighed as he felt the hope he worked to build up on the long drive slip away. Jasper looked to him as he felt the despair settle over the mountain of a man who was always more of a child at heart.

"Emmett, why don't you help me with the bags then we can go for a hunt. It'll do ya some good." Jasper offered.

"Thanks man, that sounds like a plan." He turned towards Carlisle, "Um…where do you want us to put Bella's things?"

Carlisle sat and thought about it, but didn't know how to respond. At present there were only four bedrooms. He knew he couldn't put her in Edward's. Even though she had never seen it, there were far too many personal effects of his that she might recognize. He didn't want to risk her slipping further inside of herself. Not only that, but he wanted her close to him. But at the same time, he didn't feel it was right to bring her to the room that he and Esme had most recently shared; not with all of her things still where she had left them. He felt torn.

Alice knelt down in front of him and rested her hand on his as it held Bella close to him. She looked up at him with love and understanding.

"Let Rose and I take care of everything. You just watch over Bella. Okay?"

Carlisle gave her a tight lipped smile and even if his mouth hadn't spoken, his eyes said it all.

"Thank you."

She nodded and stood up to reach for Rosalie. The two women walked back to Carlisle and Esme's room which was on the other side of the unused kitchen and faced the back yard. They carefully and lovingly packed up Esme's treasures. They left out the family pictures that she insisted carrying to each new home, but Alice thought they would be better displayed in the living room rather than in there. The girls packed up all of Esme's clothes and personal effects. They figured they could be donated to a women's shelter, but for now they would store them away. That was Carlisle's decision to make and now was not the time.

The boys had come in with the bags and left Carlisle's and Bella's on the floor just inside the door. The girls had already stripped the bed and emptied the dressers.

"Jazz, can you and Emmett bring in the maple wood bedroom set from the storage over the garage and take these things out before you head out hunting?" Alice asked in her sing-song voice.

Jasper realized what she and Rosalie were doing. He kissed her on the nose and answered, "As you wish, darlin'."

Emmett and Jasper hauled the dressers, night stands and bed frame out to the storage room and brought back the maple set. The head board was a beautifully simple arch with an oval plate of the same wood with strands of wheat carved into it. It was more masculine than the four pillar all white bed that was its predecessor, but still had a soft touch to it. Esme had decorated the room in white and pale blue. Alice left the white but set it off with a dark brown and burnt orange. It gave it a warm feeling. She and Rosalie also rearranged the furniture in the room to finish it off. Where the bed had been against the wall with the bay window, it was now directly across from it.

Once finished with their renovations, Alice and Rosalie walked into the living room to find Carlisle and Bella in the same position they had left them in. Bella had been sleeping for just over twenty-seven hours. Carlisle was beginning to worry about her fluid levels when her eyes fluttered open. Her heart rate and breathing did not increase at all and she did not make eye contact. She simply stared into the crackling fire.

He positioned her so she was sitting next to him and he moved into her line of sight.

"Bella sweetheart, can you hear me?" Carlisle asked softly.

She did not respond. He tried again.

"Bella, how are you feeling? Are you hungry? Are you in any pain?" he inquired of her. 

Again, nothing.

Alice tried next, "Hey Bella. I am so glad you woke up. We have been so worried about you. You slept the entire trip. We are in Canada now. I really hope you like it here. When you feel up to it, we can go shopping and hang out together. I have missed you so much." Alice prattled on in a much slower than standard Alice speed.

Bella looked right past her. She never said a word. Her body refused to show any changes from her sleeping state. Alice looked to Carlisle then to Rosalie urging her to give it a try. She stepped forward slowly and kneeled next to Alice.

"Welcome to our…welcome home, Bella. Alice and I have set you up in the back bedroom that has a stunning view when the sun sets." Rosalie paused looking to Alice. Alice nodded encouraging her to continue. Rosalie went on, "There is a beautiful bay window that would be the perfect place to read. I know how much you like your books. We can make a trip into town and pick up replacements for your favorites and maybe find you some new ones as well." She finished.

Bella might as well have been a vampire. She sat so still and stared off into the distance as if the three of them were not even in front of her. Alice decided to try a different approach.

"Bella, I am sure you need a human moment. Why don't I show you where the bathroom is? Actually, up here they call them washrooms." Alice said with a smile, "Come on."

Alice reached out and took Bella's hand. She grasped back and Alice smiled in encouragement. She stepped back and Bella stood up from the couch. She still made no eye contact, but as long as Alice held her hand, she seemed wiling to follow her. Carlisle and Rosalie held back as Alice led her through the house. She talked quietly to her silent friend and showed her around the house on the way. Just then they heard the guys coming up the porch.

Emmett was first through the door with grocery bags in hand. He looked around.

"Hey! Where's Bella? Is she awake? Is she feeling better?" he hit them with a barrage of questions.

Carlisle was the one to answer, "She is awake in the sense that her eyes are open and she is walking under her own power, but she is not responding to any verbal ques. Alice is taking her to the washroom right now. What do you two have there? I thought you were going hunting."

"We did. Then we headed into town. This is food and human supplies for Bella." Jasper replied in his classic southern drawl.

Carlisle smiled warmly at his sons, "That was very thoughtful of you. Thank you for taking care of it."

The guys took the bags into the kitchen. Esme had always kept a stocked pantry for appearances' sake, but she did not keep many perishables. The boys had purchased milk, orange juice, eggs, chicken and fresh fruits and vegetables. They put everything away and left the other bag outside Bella's room.

Alice appeared then with Bella in toe. Alice had a sad smile on her face while Bella's expression remained blank. Emmett smiled brightly at seeing Bella upright and walking.

"Bella! I'm so glad you are awake. I was so worried about…" Emmett's words fell off as he took in what Carlisle had explained.

Bella was moving, but it was as if it was an empty shell of the Bella they had known. Her eyes were sunken and her face was a horrid shade of grey rather than her normal peaches and cream. It seemed that she only moved because Alice was holding on to her. There was no life in her. It was heartbreaking to see her like this.

Jasper's reaction was more drastic. The void of emotion that he was sensing from Bella was more painful than the anguish that he felt coming off of her before. It was like sitting in a soundproof room. You knew there should be sound, but there was nothing; not even an echo. It was borderline maddening. He felt himself slump over and as much as Alice wanted to go to him, she needed to stay by Bella.

Emmett saw the silent interaction and stepped in to help. He took hold of Bella's free hand and when she didn't struggle, he linked her arm in his and walked her back to the living room. Alice went to Jasper and helped him to get back upright.

"Jazz, what is it? Did you feel her pain again?"

"No," he shook his head as he regained control over his body, "It is the exact opposite. It is as if she is not even there. Alice, I can not feel any emotion from her at all. What has happened to her?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5~ And Then There Were Three**

Time passed and the season changed. The winter finally broke and spring began to breathe new life into the world around them, but Bella's condition remained unchanged. She slept at night and when she woke during the day she remained in a passive state as if she was still asleep. Carlisle had his medical journals and laptop moved into their room so that he would not need to leave her to research her condition. He thought it might feel awkward to 'share' a room with Bella, but his need to be near her always superseded that.

She was in a strange type of catatonic state. Her body still responded to prompts to eat and drink which Carlisle was thankful for. He did not want to have to feed her intravenously. He fought a constant inner battle on what was the best way to treat Bella without any input from her. He had already begun administering birth control injections and he didn't want to be any more invasive than what was needed. The injections were not for their intended use; he used them to limit her periods to make home life easier. Even though menstrual blood was different from what pumped through her veins, it still challenged their chosen lifestyle. The first time she came into her cycle, Jasper nearly lost it. He ran from the house so fast that he cracked the back door. So, limiting Bella's periods to four a year allowed the others to live more comfortably under the same roof.

Daily life was built on a routine that focused primarily on Bella's needs. Since she was still catatonic, she would not verbalize if she was hungry or thirsty or even if she had to have a 'human moment'. Emmett took on the role of house chef. He wanted to help with caring for Bella, so he began watching the cooking channel and continuously tried new recipes. He hoped something in the different flavors might bring out a reaction from Bella, but it never did. So, while Emmett would busy himself in the kitchen, Alice would help Bella with her mourning routine. She would take her to the washroom and help her shower and get dressed for the day. It broke her silent heart to see her friend being led through life while not actually living it. She talked to Bella constantly hoping that she might at least come out of herself and tell her to shut up. After Bella was clean and dressed, Rosalie would join in and she would brush and style Bella's hair for her. Her hair was back to its previous lush condition due to the care the Cullen's had been giving her. Rosalie had given up trying to engage Bella in conversation several weeks back. She would just stand behind the human Barbie and preen her hair till it shined.

Carlisle would always be ready and waiting in the kitchen to meet the girls. Then he would start the arduous task of feeding Bella her breakfast. Bella would open her mouth and take the food in robotically. When she had her fill, she would just stop opening her mouth when the next bite would be offered. Shortly after their return from Forks, Carlisle had turned in his resignation at the hospital; sighting family reasons. He couldn't stand to be away from Bella when he was so invested in her well being. He knew his place was at home with her.

After breakfast, he would bundle her up and take her for walks outside. He hoped that this would help her retain muscle tone and avoid bed sores from remaining stationary for too long. Sometimes he would talk to her about his journey over the last three hundred and fifty years. He would talk about what he saw and experienced first hand. He avoided talking about Edward and Esme; afraid of doing more harm than good. Bella's arm would stay looped through hi, where he placed it, and she kept pace right along side him. He cherished this time with her. He prayed every day for her to wake from this walking death, but even when each day anew showed that she had not, he was grateful to have her by his side.

Most days Jasper would sit with Bella after her morning walk, and he would read to her from their vast library. It had been decided to put Edward's personal effects in storage and turn his room into a library. Again, they felt it wasn't right to give his things away. They all agreed that it should be left up to Bella and when she woke up, she would make the decision. It was difficult for Jasper to be near Bella because her emotional void was painful for him. He did not complain though. He felt responsible for setting events in motion that brought her to this state and this was his penance. He would read for hours until Emmett would announce that it was 'lunch time for the human'. Carlisle would be at her side in a heartbeat to escort her to the kitchen.

"Thank you for reading with Bella today, Jasper. I am sure she enjoyed it."

Jasper nodded at the sentiment that Carlisle always bestowed on him for his time spent with Bella. After lunch, Carlisle would again take Bella for a walk. Before dinner, the girls would take their turn spending time with Bella. They would put on a movie or maybe music while they would talk fashion or debate Hollywood romances while Bella sat and stared straight ahead. It was like having a full size doll just sitting amongst them.

After dinner, Alice would help Bella get ready for bed. She would get her settled and Carlisle would take his place in the chair by the bed. He would keep watch as her eyes drifted shut signaling the end to another day. Even in sleep she was silent. Carlisle recalled Edward mentioning once in passing that Bella had a curious habit of talking in her sleep. But now her nighttime musings were as silent as his heart. It had been three months and fifteen days since he had last heard her voice. He cringed when he remembered what she said to him. She was so angry that he had saved her. She wanted to die, and he had stopped her from being with Edward. His perfect recall replayed her voice full of pain as she let out a heart wrenching wail that could have brought the strongest man to his knees. It was horrible to think on these memories so he focused on earlier memories. Memories of a happy Bella; laughing at Edward while mocking him for being a 'scary monster' or his attempt to coerce her to dance. He was pulled from his reflections when he heard Alice's voice from the living room.

"Rose! You are leaving?"

Rosalie's hushed voice responded, "I can't keep doing this. I know it is my fault, but I can't stand by and watch what is left of Bella wither away."

Carlisle looked over Bella one last time to make sure she was a sleep before joining the others in the living room.

"Rose, this is not your fault. You did nothing wrong." Alice tried to console her sister.

Carlisle walked out to his girls facing off with their husbands standing off to the side; not knowing what to do. Rosalie continued but now addressed Carlisle.

"I am so sorry I am not strong enough to stay and clean up the mess I made, but I can't. I just can't." she said shaking her head.

Emmett came up and wrapped her in his strong arms.

"Shhh, Rosie. No one blames you for this," he whispered into her blond tresses.

"I blame me, Emmett! Don't you all see?" she looked around the room at her family, "If I had waited to call Edward to tell him about Bella like Jasper had asked me to, we would still have Edward and Esme. Bella would still be Bella and safe back in Forks! We would be living our lives and not caring for what is left of that poor girl."

Rosalie began to weep dry tears. Carlisle saw the self inflicted pain and shame that Rosalie was cloaked in. She was one incredibly strong person, and to see her this way was disheartening. He walked forward and rested his hand upon her shoulder. She looked up from where she had buried her head in Emmett's broad chest.

"If you need to go, then go. Take time to heal yourself. We have all suffered a tremendous loss, and none of us have allowed ourselves the time to heal. But please… don't go forever. I have lost so much already. I do not think I can weather the loss of another child of mine. Promise me that you will return when you are able to?" Carlisle pleaded with her.

Rosalie turned from Emmett's embrace into Carlisle's waiting arms.

"I promise." She whispered into his chest.

"We promise." Emmett added.

Rosalie turned to look at him in question. Even amongst the sadness, Emmett just smiled.

"Rosalie, you are my life. Where you go, we go."

"But…" Rosalie tried to interject. As much as she wanted Emmett with her, she did not want to pull him away from the rest of the family.

"There are no buts. Even if you tried to leave without me, I would never rest till I found you again."

Rosalie slumped slightly in Carlisle's arms. She did not feel worthy of the love her family had for her. Carlisle tipped her chin so that she was looking him in the eye.

"I want you to know that I don't hold you responsible for Esme or Edward's actions in the least. You did what you thought was best. There was no vindictiveness or malice in your soul when you had to give Edward that terrible news. He chose to act in a way that secured his demise. There is no way you could have known he would have been so dismissive with his own life. This was not your fault." He said with finality.

Rosalie just nodded and let Carlisle pull her in close to him once more.

"Where are you two headed?" he asked as he released his hold on her and she floated back to Emmett's side.

"I'm not sure." She responded softly.

"Why don't you go to the island," Carlisle suggested before a new thought entered his mind, "In fact, I am going to deed the island over to the four of you."

The others began to protest. Carlisle just raised his hand to signal that he had the floor.

"The island was a gift to Esme. And as much as I love it, there are too many memories for me to ever go there again." He paused and smiled at them woefully, "Imagine it as a gift from Esme. She always loved it and she would not want it to go to strangers. I have no intention of keeping it for myself, so I insist that the four of you take it."

The two couples looked to each other than nodded to their father figure. Quiet words of thanks were offered to Carlisle before the discussion turned to travel arrangements. Carlisle excused himself to return to Bella's bedside. He watched the night tick on counting her heartbeats and respirations as he did every night.

Two days later, Carlisle had just finished feeding Bella the mushroom and cheese omelet Emmett had made for her when Rosalie walked into the kitchen. Carlisle looked at his children as they were preparing to leave. He knew this is what Rosalie and to a certain extent Emmett needed, but it didn't make it any easier to let them go.

"Why don't you go for a hunt with Jasper and Alice? We will stay here and spend some time with Bella before we need to head out." Rosalie offered.

Carlisle didn't want to miss his alone time with Bella, but he recognized the logic in her suggestion. It would be a while till they could hunt as a group again as he refused to leave Bella alone at the house.

"Thank you, Rosalie. That is very considerate of you." He replied.

Alice and Jasper were by his side before the words left his mouth. Alice was bouncing in place with anticipation of the hunt. She saw some bears and elk in her visions and the venom had already begun to pool in her mouth as her thirst increased. The three of them were bounding out the back door within seconds.

Rosalie took Bella's hands and guided her to stand, then walked her into the living room. She sat her down in the large sectional as Emmett went about the task of cleaning up after breakfast and preparing lunch. He knew that Rosalie wanted some alone time with Bella before leaving. To someone who didn't know her, she might seem cold hearted and uncaring, but it was the exact opposite. Rosalie loved her family and she would do anything to protect them. She had once considered Bella a threat to the family, but now she regarded her as a significant part of it.

"Bella, I really hope you can hear me. I hope there is a part of you still inside there," she said as she ran her hand over Bella's, "Emmet and I are going away for a while. I promise that if you need us to come back, we will be here as soon as we can."

Emmett could hear the heartbreak in his wife's voice as she spoke to Bella. He had to take several deep breaths to get his emotions under control so as to not destroy the bowl in his hands. The women he loved were in pain and he was helpless to fix it.

"Bella, I am so sorry for my part in what has become your life. I never meant for ay of this to happen. I know I have no right to ask this of you, but I hope someday you can forgive me for causing so much damage. I hope you can find the strength to heal," her voice lowered to the point where Emmett couldn't hear her next words, "but if you can't and you need to leave us, I understand. I don't think I could survive losing Emmett." She paused to collect herself before going on, "But know that we all love you and would miss you if you left this world. Please love Bella. You don't know how much we all need you to live. But don't do it for us. Find the power in yourself t live life for you." She wrapped Bella in her arms and hugged her to her chest, "Just know that Emmett and I will be back here in seconds if you need us."

Emmett walked in to see his wife embracing their sister. He always hoped that Rosalie would warm up to Bella but wasn't sure if the day would ever come.

"Hey babe, why don't you go and make sure we have everything packed. I want to spend a little time with Bells before we head out."

Rosalie nodded as she stood up and stepped away from Bella. As she walked past him, Emmett grabbed her arm gently to stop her. She looked into his loving golden eyes before he leaned down and kissed her chastely on the lips. She reached up and cupped his cheek prior to making her way to their room.

Emmett flopped onto the couch and wrapped a large arm around Bella's shoulders shifting her into his side. He kicked his feet up on the coffee table. An onlooker would think he didn't have a care in the world, but anyone who knew him could tell you that was far from the truth.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. What are we going to do with you?" he sighed heavily, "I know you are hurting kiddo, but we miss you so freakin' much. You can't hide in there forever." He paused and looked down at her; always hoping the right combination of words will bring her back to them. When he saw there was no change he went on, "Rose and I are heading out today. We are going to the island. I wonder if we ever told you about it. It is pretty cool. There is a nice house there and we have jet skis and boogie boards and everything. It is pretty secluded so even though it is always sunny there, we can spend all the time in the world outside. Maybe someday we can show it to you. That would be cool, don't ya think?" Again he waited for a response that would not come. He took a deep breath before going on, "I am sorry won't be here to cook for you, but I left a book with all my recipes so I am sure that Alice, Jasper and Carlisle can manage. It just won't be nearly as good as mine." He finished with a chuckle.

He leaned in and whispered, "Please come back to us Bells. The whole family need you, but I think Carlisle needs you most of all. I think he may have feelings for you Bella, and he doesn't even know it. If anyone understands your pain, it is him. Let him in Bella. You won't regret it." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head, "If you need me, you call; anytime, day or night. You know I am always up." He laughed at his own joke as he heard the others return.

Soon it was time for goodbyes. Carlisle wished them safe travels and asked them to check in from time to time. Alice assured them that the weather would cooperate to allow them to make their connecting flights without having to dodge the sun. Jasper warned them to not leave the airport during their layover in Houston. He was weary of the southern covens and worried for his siblings' safety. Emmett and Rosalie each said a final goodbye to Bella before heading out to the Mercedes. Jasper and Alice would drive them to the airport and shop for food and supplies for Bella while they were out.

Carlisle stood by the door and watched as two more of his children left for an undetermined amount of time. As much as he wanted to believe that they would be back some day, he couldn't help the nagging feeling that ate at the core of him. _I thought I would see Edward come home one day too._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6~ Choices**

"_Edward, will you read to me?"_

"_Of course my love. What would you like me to read?"_

"_Wuthering Heights. That is one of my favorites." She answered with a sweet smile._

_Edward grabbed the worn out book Bella recognized as her copy that she had brought with her when she moved to Charlie's house. She wondered how he was able to get it, but then shook the question from her head as Edward began to read. She closed her eyes and rested amongst the flowers and tall grass of the meadow. Her head lay on his firm lap as she waited for the familiar story to begin. Edward ran one hand through her hair while he held the book with the other. Bella relaxed and absorbed his presence deep within her soul. It felt good to be here with him, but something was itching at the outer edges of her brain. As happy as she was to be with Edward, she felt something trying to pull her somewhere else. She couldn't explain the sensation. In her heart she wanted to be right where she was, but there was this feeling…she couldn't put a label to it._

_She opened her eyes to take in Edward's appearance as he continued to read. She noticed that he wore the same shirt and jeans that he had everyday they had spent in the meadow. She tried to remember how many days they had been there. It felt like at least a week; maybe more, but she couldn't pin point the time. She started analyzing the situation. She was never hungry or thirsty, and she never needed a 'human moment'. She would fall asleep each night in Edward's arms and wake up each day in the meadow with him by her side. Though he was still ice cold to her, she was never chilled by his touch. _

_Edward had stopped reading._

"_There are a lot of questions running through that beautiful mind of yours, love. What would you like to know first?" He asked as he laid the book in the grass before pulling Bella to sit in his lap._

_She thought for a moment, then swallowing hard mustering up the courage to ask him._

"_Am I…am I dead?" she asked in a timid voice._

"_No. You are still very much alive." Edward responded with a small smile. "Here," he brought her hand to her chest, "feel your heart beating?"_

_She smiled back and nodded. Her expression darkened as the next question floated to the surface._

"_Are you…?" she couldn't bring herself to finish the question, but Edward knew what she was asking._

_He nodded, "I am."_

_She battled with the tears that threatened to spill. She instinctively reached up to stroke his face and run her fingers through his hair. _

"_Do you want to know more?" he asked her._

_Bella shook her head. She was afraid that if she knew everything that he would disappear and she wasn't ready to let Edward go yet._

"_Not today. Just read to me, okay?" she pleaded quietly._

"_Whatever you need, my love." He said as he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear then he kissed her lips softly._

_She settled back into the grass with her head in his lap. He picked up where he had left off in the story, and Bella smiled in contentment. She was aware that the strange pull was still there, but it would just need to wait for another day._

Time is a funny thing when you are faced with an eternity. There are times when decades can fly by in the blink of an eye and others where days feel like years. Carlisle had known the world centuries over. He had seen the rise and fall of dynasties. He had been witness to earth changing events. He had seen the invention of some incredible wonders and observed the devastating loss of lives caused by greed and war. He watched as footage of the first atomic bomb was detonated as well as the first man walking on the moon. He had also been witness to medical marvels that he never thought could come to be. It was these medical advances that he had thrown himself into researching every free moment of his days and nights in an attempt to help Bella.

It had been six months, two weeks, four days and eleven hours since she had slipped into her catatonic state. She showed no signs of improvement or acknowledgement that she was at all aware of the world around her. There was so much that was unknown about the human brain. Even with his vast medical knowledge and photographic memory, he felt at a complete disadvantage to help her.

He continued to flip through his collection of medical journals looking for anything that might shed some light on how to pull Bella from inside her own head when he heard a small knock on the door. He looked up to see Alice lingering in the doorway.

"Ah Alice," he said with a weary smile, "What can I do for you, my dear?"

He closed the most recent journal he had been reading and placed it on his desk. He looked over and took in Bella's sleeping form. Nothing ever disturbed her slumber.

Alice stepped closer and sat in the chair in front of his desk.

"I came to sit with Bella so that you and Jasper could go hunting. It has been weeks since you went and the circles under your eyes are nearly black."

Carlisle tried to protest, but Alice had already seen this and cut him off at the pass.

"Now you of all people should know that it is not safe for Bella if we do not keep our thirst sated. She will be fine for the couple of hours you are gone. I promise I will not leave the room, and I will call if there is _any _change in her condition. Just like I always do."

Alice narrowed her eyes at her father figure. As much as she looked up to Carlisle, there were times when he needed to be taken care of as well.

One look in her unbreakable ocher stare and he realized it was futile to argue. He sighed and raised his hands in defeat.

"Alright,alright,Alice. You win. I will go hunting with Jasper."

He stood up and walked around the desk. He cupped her head in both hands and leaned down to kiss the top of her spiky black hair.

"Thank you for looking out for me _and_ Bella. Esme would be proud of how well you are taking care of the family." He said as he looked deep into her eyes.

She gave him a tight smile attempting to hold back the wave of emotion his compliment brought about in her. She went to sit at his desk. She organized the analogs that he left out and then proceeded to do some online shopping from his computer.

Carlisle went out back to find Jasper standing in the moonlight gazing up at the stars.

"It still amazes me that after one hundred and fifty years of walking this planet that the stars have stayed just the same as I have." Jasper mused as he turned his attention to Carlisle.

"The universe is full of pretty wondrous things." Carlisle agreed, "Are you ready to go?"

Jasper gave a single nod and began a trek northwest of the house. Alice had assured him it was a good direction to hunt in tonight. Carlisle followed and was quickly running side by side with his adopted son. Carlisle enjoyed hunting with Jasper because his way of hunting was more animalistic and primal than any of the other family members. Carlisle attributed it to his initiation into this life as part of a fighting coven.

About sixteen miles into their run Jasper took a sharp left turn. Carlisle stopped to see if he could find the object of Jasper's focus. Sure enough, another two miles away there was a mountain lion sleeping in a tall tree. Carlisle opted to give his son his space to hunt and kept on his original path until he came across a sleeping caribou. Carlisle had not realized how thirsty he was until he began to drink from the great animal. It only took the one bull to satisfy his thirst. He said his quiet thanks to God and to the animal for its sacrifice as he buried the drained carcass.

He set back at a leisure pace until he came upon Jasper sitting on a large bolder waiting for him.

"Good hunting?" he asked as he slid off the rock.

Carlisle smiled and nodded, "And you?"

"Mmmm hmm. I feel better."

Jasper started back to the house in a more casual stroll than what he normally did unless humans were around. Since they were in the middle of the Canadian wilderness in he pitch black of night, Carlisle knew he had another reason for taking it slowly. He also knew that when Jasper was ready, he would talk.

It was another thirty minutes before Jasper opened his mouth to speak.

"Carlisle, what are your plans if Bella doesn't wake up?"

Carlisle was taken aback by the subject matter. It took him a moment to construct an answer.

"I have every hope that she will wake up, Jasper."

Jasper was quick to respond, "But what if she doesn't?" he reached out to stop Carlisle from walking any further.

The moon shown down on the two men; their skin shimmering slightly in the iridescent light. Carlisle looked into the golden eyes across from him and tried to read the meaning behind his inquiry.

"What are you asking, Jasper?"

"I am asking what are you prepared to do if she does not come out of this catatonic state? Will you leave her like this until her body fails and she dies or will you take pity on her and give her the death that she sought out so emphatically in that meadow?"

Carlisle stood stunned at Jasper's implication.

"I have seen the scars, Carlisle. Alice has told me in detail what she saw in her vision. Bella was intent on ending her life and you stopped her." He put up his hand to impede Carlisle from arguing his reasons for saving her, "Now, don't get me wrong. I would have done the same thing had I been able to. But in hindsight, was it the _right_ thing to do? We were so concerned over what we had lost and what we were striving to save that we never stopped to question whether or not we should have.

"Have we condemned her to an existence locked away in her own mind? What does that mean for her? What does that mean for us? You and I both know that it is not safe for her to remain with us as a human for the rest of her natural life. Have you considered changing her? Making her one of us? Maybe the venom can heal what ever is broken inside of her like it does to other internal injuries." Jasper left him thinking on this final question.

"As much as I would like to believe that changing her would pull her out of this frozen state, I fear the risks are far too great. What if she awakens to this life volatile and uncontrollable? We may not be able to reason with her in order to teach her control. She may go mad. We would be forced to destroy her. I do not want to risk it." Carlisle answered shaking his head running his fingers through his hair roughly.

"Carlisle, I understand you care for Bella. I feel your emotions when you are near her." Jasper spoke softly.

Carlisle hung his head as shame washed over him. Jasper stepped forward and rested his hand on his adopted father's shoulder. He sent him understanding.

"Don't be ashamed of having feelings for her. There are many of our kind that live a contented nomadic life, but I do not see that for you. You have an enormous capacity for compassion and love. Bella would be lucky to have you share that with her.

"But I worry about you and about the rest of the family; including Bella. This stand still existence can not go on forever. If Bella is not able to come out of herself and voice her needs and desires, decisions will have to be made for her. And they are not easy ones."

Carlisle looked up into Jasper's strong face and reached across to rest his hand on his shoulder.

"I understand what you are saying, but I do not have any answers at this time."

He turned away and looked up at the stars scattered across the night sky as if the solution may be written in the heavens above. He sighed heavily and looked back to Jasper.

"Let us give her some more time. If she does not wake up by the year mark, then we can further this discussion."

Jasper nodded in agreement and began the trek back to the house with Carlisle in toe. As they ran back to the house Carlisle replayed his conversation with Jasper in his head. Could he end Bella's life if she did not recover from her current condition? Sending her back to Forks was not an option as Charlie believed her to be dead, and there were too many questions that he could not answer without revealing his true nature. He knew there was no way he could institutionalize her and leave her for someone else to care for. She was _his_ responsibility. But what was he willing to sacrifice in order to keep her? The thought of having to give Bella up caused a pain to radiate from the center of his being.

Carlisle was unaware that his pace had picked up significantly as he felt the pull to be back at Bella's side. Jasper noticed the increase in speed was related directly to Carlisle's longing; though he refrained from verbalizing his observation. Jasper amplified his strides to stay in time with him. At their increased speed they made it back to the house just as dawn was breaking.

"You two look better. Good hunting?" Alice asked as if she didn't already know.

Her gift made conversations nearly irrelevant, but since Alice was also blessed with the gift of gab, she feigned ignorance.

"Sure was darlin'," Jasper replied as he kissed her sweetly.

"Why don't I take breakfast duty today?" he offered to Carlisle as he felt his need to be near Bella grow the closer he got to her.

Carlisle thanked him for the offer as he sat in his chair by Bella's bedside. Alice sighed as she took in the sight before her. As each day past, Carlisle's future became a touch more cloudy. He was attaching himself to Bella and since she was still in a fog, his future decisions were skewed by it as well. She left the room; closing the door behind her. She went to the kitchen to help Jasper with the cooking. He was admittedly the worst cook in the house, but he made the effort for Bella.

Alice grabbed the ingredients for blueberry pancakes while Jasper went to heat the griddle and grab some sausages out of the freezer. Carlisle's hushed voice carried to them as if he was speaking in a normal tone, given their vampire hearing.

"Bella sweetheart, please wake up. I really need you to open those beautiful brown eyes and look at me. I mean _really_ look at me." His voice was so full of desperation.

Jasper worked to send comfort to Carlisle, but it wasn't easy. Alice recognized her husband's struggle and went to him; placing her right hand on his back as the fingers of her left hand wrapped around his bicep. She had learned over the years that his gift was magnified with touch. He breathed deeply and smiled at her in thanks. He refocused his efforts to calm Carlisle and his gift began to take effect.

Carlisle took a deep cleansing breath as he felt the weight on his heart lessen, and he sent his gratitude to his son. He wasn't sure how Jasper was able to handle the influx of emotions that had taken their toll on the family these last six months, but he considered himself blessed to have him in his life. He turned back to Bella and took her hand in his. He gently stroked her alabaster skin as he began to speak again.

"Bella, I know you are suffering with your loss. I truly understand your pain. I want to be here for you; to help you. Please let me." He paused and brushed a wayward hair off her cheek and hooked it behind her ear. His knuckle caressed the side of her face. "No one will ever be able to replace Edward, but I would like to be able to be a shoulder for you to cry on or an ear to listen. I will be whatever you need me to be. Just please come back to us. Come back to me."

Just then Bella's eyes opened. Carlisle stopped talking and waited with baited breath to see if she would look at him.

"Bella?" he beckoned her to acknowledge his presence.

She continued to look at the ceiling. Her heart rate and respiration remained the same as it had been; no changes.

His head dropped for a moment before he picked it back up to look at her, "Good morning Bella," his voice lost the hopefulness it had just held, "I trust you had a restful sleep."

He pulled back the covers and helped her to sit at the edge of the bed. Alice was there and assisted her to stand.

"I've got her Carlisle. Why don't you go help Jasper and make sure he doesn't burn the pancakes and sausage." She said with a smile.

"I heard that." Jasper called from the kitchen.

Alice giggled. The light banter brought a slight smile to Carlisle's lips.

Alice escorted Bella to the washroom as she started to speak, "It is going to be a beautiful day today, Bella. You and Carlisle should have a wonderful time on your walk after breakfast."

Carlisle went into the walk-in closet and changed his clothes; ready to start day number two hundred and two of his new life of caring for Bella. But he couldn't help but wonder what he would relinquish to continue this life. _Would Jasper and Alice leave as well if I refused to consider forfeiting her life on day three hundred and sixty-five? Could I choose her over my family of the last seventy years?_ In his heart there was no choice.

Alice was drying Bella's hair when a vision caught her off guard. She saw Carlisle walk into a dense fog and then she could see no more.


	7. Chapter 7

Forgive me, I am new to posting on here and failed to include an A/N for the first six chapters, so here it is.

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the world of Twilight and all that is contained therein. I am just borrowing her characters for a little while.

A big thank you to my pre-reader marissa0827.

Thank you to all my new followers here on Fanfic. And a big thank you to all of you who have reviewed this story thus far.

**Chapter 7~ Songs of the Heart**

_Bella woke up to the sensation of her head moving up and down on Edward's chest as it rose and fell in conjunction with his breathing._

"_Good morning, love. Did you sleep well?"_

_She sat up and thought about his question. She had the strangest dreams last night. She tried to recall them but was only able to pull up bits and pieces. She remembered Alice brushing her hair and talking non-stop about the newest fashions. She remembered eating pasta in alfredo sauce. She swore she could recall the sound of someone singing, but she couldn't tell what song it was or whose voice she heard. It was all jumbled and none of it made a whole lot of sense. She shook her head and then looked at the pensive expression that was on Edward's face._

"_What is it?" she asked as she ran her hand down his face._

_He captured her hand and held it against his cheek. She felt the chill of his marble like skin for the first time since they had been in the meadow. She shivered as goose bumps crept up her arm. _

"_You are beginning to heal, Bella." He explained softly._

_Bella cocked her head in confusion. _Heal?_ She didn't understand what he meant. She didn't feel hurt or sick. She felt perfect here with him._

_He interrupted her internal questioning, "Bella, what was the last thing you remember before waking up in the meadow with me for the first time?" he asked as he pulled her hands into his and rubbed small circles on them._

_Bella scrunched up her forehead in concentration making the little 'v' appear between her eye brows. Edward couldn't help but smile at this trait that was so very Bella. He knew the sun was setting on his time with her. He was going to miss her so much, but he also knew that Carlisle was waiting for her to wake up. He knew she would be loved and protected. Even from this heavenly indeterminate state, he could still hear Carlisle, and he knew that he would give Bella what ever she wanted or needed. _

_Edward understood that he could not take Bella with him so he needed to help her take these next steps back to her life. No matter how painful it would be for the both of them. He looked at her and nodded in encouragement for her to try and remember. _

_Bella worked backwards through her memories until she felt her mind open a door that had been hidden to her for a long time._

_She gasped as she recalled screaming at Carlisle for saving her. Then she looked at her arms as she remembered cutting herself with the broken CD. As she turned her arms over the faint scars began to show against her skin. She felt the pain she remembered when she learned of Edward's death. It was excruciating as it came back at her like a tidal wave. It tortured Edward to watch her endure this, but he needed to let her feel it. She had been numb to the pain for so long and it was now time for her to face it. _

_She fell back as the hurting was too much and she began to scream. It was a scream of anguish that wrecked her entire body. Her eyes clamped shut to try and block out some of the intensity, but it was useless. The pain seemed to go on forever. She remembered this agony. This is what she suffered through each day and night after Edward had left her. It was a terrible feeling, and just as she thought she could take no more, she felt something. A pair of strong arms wrapped around her and held her tightly. The voice she heard before began singing again. She could breathe once more as she felt her body relax. Little by little her body let go of the tension until she was lulled into a peaceful sleep._

Carlisle was cleaning around the bedroom while Bella was taking a midday nap. He could hear Alice dancing around the other rooms replacing flowers and tidying up. He could make out the sound of Jasper flipping the pages of a book. He was most likely hiding out in their room reading in order to avoid her wrath for yet again getting in her way. Yes, he was a seasoned warrior and veteran of the southern wars, but even _he_ didn't like to get Alice angry with him. Carlisle chuckled to himself as he thought about the irony of the situation.

He was sorting through some medical journals when a song popped into his head. He hadn't heard it in a while, but it wouldn't let go for some reason. Alice and Rosalie would have called it an 'ear worm'. His mind went to his peripatetic son and daughter. He was grateful that he had just spoken to them earlier today. They had left the island and decided to take a little excursion in the jungles of Rio and do some big game hunting. He laughed as he heard Emmett tease Jasper about getting to wrestle anacondas. Carlisle missed them terribly and hoped that they would come home soon.

The same song kept cycling through his mind as he flipped through some mail Alice had collected from their post office box. He began singing quietly to himself as he finished up when he thought he heard Bella's heart rate pick up for a moment. He stopped singing to listen closer, but then it was back to normal. Slow steady beats of a human at rest. Just then Jasper was standing in the doorway. Carlisle's head snapped up to see the perplexed look on his face. Jasper stepped into the room and over to Bella's side. He stared at her and then back up to Carlisle.

"What did you do?" he asked hurriedly.

Carlisle gave Jasper a confused look, "What do you mean, Jasper?"

"I felt her! I felt emotion coming from Bella. It was only for a moment, but I know I felt it."

"What did you read off of her?" Carlisle queried hopefully as he stepped closer to the bed.

"Contentment. It wasn't outright happiness, but it was definitely a positive emotion. I don't get it though," Jasper looked down at the sleeping Bella once more; as if the answer would be written on her face, "As fast as it began it ended and she is in that same emotional void again."

Both men looked down at Bella as she continued to sleep undisturbed. Neither being able to pinpoint what the trigger was for her emotional blip. Alice came bounding into the room.

"Singing!" she said excitedly, "Carlisle, I heard you singing."

Jasper's head shot between Alice and Carlisle before he spoke, "Sing again."

Carlisle thought they were both a little crazy, but he figured they had nothing to lose. He began to sing the same song he had earlier.

'_When the rain is blowing in your face,_

_And the whole world is on your case,_

_I could offer you a warm embrace,_

_To make you feel my love.'_

All of the sudden all three of them heard Bella's heart beat stronger than it had in more than nine months.

Jasper smiled at Carlisle and whispered, "Contentment."

Carlisle continued to sing to Bella as her heart kept up with the new, stronger rhythm. It was like watching a miracle happen. The three vampires stood around her and waited to see if she would wake up. When the song ended, her pulse returned to a resting rate but her eyes opened.

Alice reached for her hand and called out her name.

"Bella? Bella? Can you hear me?"

Bella stared out in front of her; never acknowledging Alice's pleas. Alice looked to Carlisle and Jasper. They both took turns calling her name, but there was no response.

"Sing again, Carlisle." Alice insisted.

He thought for a second and began singing one of his favorite Beatles' songs.

'_Blackbird singing in the dead of night  
Take these broken wings and learn to fly  
All your life  
You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

Black bird singing in the dead of night  
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see  
all your life  
you were only waiting for this moment to be free.'

His singing had the same response as before, but Bella still did not make any eye contact or show any sign of recognizing that they were there. Jasper nodded in encouragement for Carlisle to continue. He was happily absorbing the first emotions he had felt from her in nearly a year. He was pushing them out to Alice and Carlisle to show them what Bella was feeling. Alice smiled at him and then helped Bella to stand. Carlisle walked behind as he continued to sing. He stopped at the door to the washroom. He felt a little awkward singing to a closed door, but Bella's heart beat sang back to him and told him all he needed to know at that moment. She heard him.

Carlisle went through several Beatles' songs before switching to Billy Joel and Johnny Cash. One might think that Carlisle liked classical music; and he did, but he had a true love for the music of the nineteen sixty's through the late seventy's. He loved the origins of rock.

He sang to her throughout the rest of the day. It was only when she had settled into bed and fallen asleep that her heart beat took a naturally slower pace and he stopped.

Jasper was by his side as he watched her sleep.

"Well, that was an interesting development," Jasper mused, "How long do you think you can keep that up for?'

"As long as it takes." He said in the most serious tone of voice. Without turning his attention away from Bella he asked, "How are her emotions now?"

Jasper smiled softly in relief, "The contentment was steadily flowing from here the entire time you were singing. Once she fell asleep, it switched to peace. It is nice to feel something from her again. I can't verbalize how agonizing it was to feel nothing for so long"

Carlisle nodded in agreement. He was silently saying prayers of thanks to God for giving him this day with Bella as he did at the end of everyday. He added in his additional thanks for bringing Bella a little bit closer to them.

"Carlisle, why don't you go hunt. Alice and I just went last night. I will stay by her side and monitor her emotions while she sleeps." Jasper offered.

Carlisle stood and rested his hand on Jasper's shoulder, "Thank you, Jasper. I won't be gone long."

With that, Carlisle was out the door and out the back in a dash for the woods. He took a strong pull of air and enjoyed the smells that accentuated the autumn night. It was early October and the season was in full swing. Even amongst the dying plants, there was something crisp and refreshing about the cool air of the night. He was only running for about an hour when he picked up the smell of a small heard of antelope that had bedded down for the night. He snuck up on them and was able to get a hold on two of them before the rest of the heard scattered in the darkness. He quickly drained them both and disposed of the remains.

He sat for a moment as the moonlight came out from its hiding spot behind the clouds. It had been a good day. He really hoped that this was a turning point in Bella's recovery. He wondered why after all this time of him talking to Bella that it took him singing to reach her. It didn't seem logical. He pondered on this as he made his way back to the house.

Jasper sat like a sentinel on guard over Bella's sleeping form. Carlisle had only been gone about forty-five minutes when Bella did something she hadn't done in all her time with them. She appeared to be having a nightmare. Her feeling of peace diminished quickly to be replaced by pain, loss and fear. Jasper tried to push more positive emotions her way, but it was useless. She began to thrash and whimper in her sleep.

"What's wrong with her?" Alice whispered as she ran into the room.

"I think it is a nightmare. Her emotions are all over the place and I can't seem to help her at all." Jasper answered.

"Try singing to her like Carlisle did. Maybe that will help." She suggested.

Jasper nodded and began singing a country song that was a favorite of his, but Bella did not have the same reaction as she did to Carlisle.

She continued to whimper. Jasper looked to Alice but before she began to sing, Bella screamed out in pain. She clutched at her chest as if she was trying to pull the pain away from herself. Jasper continued to try and push calm and lethargy to her as Alice cooed to her trying to calm her down.

"Bella, shhhh. You are fine. You are safe. I promise. Honey, no one is going to hurt you. Please Bella, please calm down."

They tried everything they could think of, but nothing seemed to make a difference. Then they heard the sound of the back door being torn off the hinges. Carlisle was in the room a split second later.

"What happened?" he demanded as he went to her side.

"We don't know! It started off as a nightmare, but now it seems like she is in agonizing pain and nothing we do seems to help!" Alice prattled off quickly.

"We tried singing and I tried to manipulate her emotions, but nothing worked." Jasper added as Alice wrapped herself around him.

She was in desperate need of his comfort; which he gladly gave. Jasper enveloped her in his arms and sent her his undying love.

Carlisle tried to sing to Bella again, but it had no impact.

"Her emotions are still a cyclone of pain, loss and fear." Jasper explained.

Bella was thrashing about and trying to claw at her chest. Carlisle was worried she would hurt herself or possibly draw blood. He climbed into the bed behind her and wrapped his arms securely around her. She whimpered for a moment and then stopped. She froze as if her muscles seized up.

"I'm here Bella. It's alright now. Just relax sweetheart." He whispered softly.

Then he began to sing again and this time it worked. With each word she seemed to relax in his arms until Jasper said the one word that Carlisle was waiting to hear.

"Peace."

They all breathed a sigh of relief. Jasper realized then that Bella needed Carlisle. It wasn't just the singing; it was his presence that soothed her. Carlisle began to stroke her hair softly as he continued to sing. Jasper and Alice backed out of the room and made their way to the living room.

It felt so natural to Carlisle to hold Bella in his arms. She was small and so fragile, and he wanted nothing more than to protect her. He would hold her forever if it would bring her some form of comfort. Her heart thumped a strong rhythm that pumped against his chest as he held her against him. His hand splayed open across her taut stomach and he counted each breath she took. He smiled to himself as it inspired the next song to pop into his head. His voice was barely a whisper as he crooned in her ear.

'_Every breath you take  
Every move you make  
Every bond you break  
Every step you take  
I'll be watching you'_

He sang a few more songs by the Police before he looked to Jasper who had come back into the room on regular intervals to give him a status on her emotional state. Carlisle let the last few words flow softly from his mouth before stopping all together. He watched Jasper as he tasted the emotions in the room. He felt the protectiveness and hope that Carlisle was projecting and he felt the security and peace coming off of Bella.

"She feels safe and at peace right now." He whispered.

"Thank you, Jasper." He said in response.

Jasper nodded and quietly left the room. He felt his natural pull towards Alice that led him to the front porch swing. She sat with one knee tucked under her chin while the other leg pushed gently to keep the swing in motion. Jasper sat with her without jostling the chains.

"Penny for your thoughts, darlin'?" he asked as he wrapped his arm around her.

Alice adjusted her position, pulling both feet up and snuggling into his side. She breathed in his cinnamon and moonlight scent that was so very much Jasper. She kissed one of the scars on his neck before resting her head on his shoulder. She always kissed one each time they were close like this. She knew she could never erase the horrid memories that created those scars, but her goal was to replace them with better memories that would bury the others away.

She sighed softly, "Is she really getting better, Jasper?"

"I don't know darlin', but I do know that she is not hurting right now. With Carlisle near her she seems contented. Here,' he said as he filtered Bella's emotions through himself to Alice.

Alice closed her eyes as she allowed the feeling to fill her up. She knew this combination well. It was the same one she had each time she was with Jasper after a prolonged separation. She smiled up at her mate.

"Thank you, Jazzy. Thank you for sharing that with me. I really hope this is just the beginning."

"Me too darlin'. Me too."

They rocked under the starry sky for a while longer. The sound of a screech owl came to them from a half mile away. It was peaceful here. They were miles away from the nearest town and their home was the only one on the road. There was little chance of a human wondering upon them. Alice took a deep breath of night air before letting it out slowly. Jasper looked down on her beautiful face as the moon light made her appear to glow.

"He has feelings for her, doesn't he?" her voice as soft as the night breeze.

Jasper nodded, "He does. But I do not believe he is aware of them yet."

"I hope he can wait for her." Alice spoke as she thought about what it would take for Bella to open her heart again once she fully woke up.

"Ali, I believe he would wait forever if need be." He whispered softly as he ran his lips across her forehead. "I know that is how long I would wait for you."

Carlisle's music list:

'To Make You Feel My Love' ~ Lyrics by Bob Dylan, but I love Billy Joel's version

'Blackbird' ~ The Beatles

'Every Breath You Take' ~ The Police

If you like my writing and want to check out more, I have other (more lemony stories on TWCS library). Thanks!

Peace and love,

Nickey


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns the world of Twilight and all that is contained therein. I am just borrowing her characters for a little while.

A big thank you to my pre-reader marissa0827.

**Chapter~8 Final Goodbyes and Reunions**

_Bella woke up alone in the meadow. She felt panic seize her heart._

"_Edward?" she yelled out, "Edward! Edward where are you?"_

"_I'm right here, love." he said as he appeared at her side._

_Bella wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed a sigh of relief. His marble like arms wrapped around her protectively. She felt her heart return to its previous rhythm._

"_I thought I lost you." She said as she breathed in his scent._

"_Bella, you will never lose me." He leaned back and looked into her eyes. "I will always be with you, here," he placed his hand on her heart, "and here," he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "As long as you remember me, I will forever be a part of you." _

_There was something different in his voice. It was something she recognized. She felt a pain deep in her heart as the realization struck her. He was saying goodbye._

"_Edward, you need to leave now, don't you?" she asks him in a hushed voice._

"_I do." He said; a sad smile painted on his lips._

_Bella looked down and saw the healed scars on her arms where she had cut herself. They were faint, but she could see them clearly now. Edward took his thumbs and traced the scar on each arm._

"_Bella, you are very precious to so many and you have so much more life to live. Please don't try to end the life that I hold so dear."_

_She nodded in agreement as he leaned down and kissed each healed wound._

_He stood up and helped Bella to stand with him. She ran her hand up the side of his face and through his silken hair. He was so incredibly beautiful, and he always would be. Bella smiled at him and then noticed that something over her shoulder caught his attention. She looked in the same direction and saw Esme standing on the edge of the woods. Edward smiled and went back to looking down at Bella as he held her hands._

"_Why is Esme here?" she asked softly._

_Edward looked meaningfully into her eyes willing her to understand. Bella looked back at Esme and then to Edward. She gasped._

"_No." she said in a hushed tone._

_Edward nodded slowly._

"_But how? Why?" she asked quickly._

"_She thought she had lost us both and it was too much for her."_

_Bella hung her head and cried silent tears; shouldering the blame of Esme's demise. Edward tipped her chin up and kissed her tears away._

"_Please don't be sad, Bella. Look," he said as he pointed towards Esme._

_Bella wiped the tears from her eyes to take in the sight before her. Bella felt a smile grow as the tears that now fell were ones of happiness. In Esme's arms, wrapped in a light blue blanket, was a baby. Bella knew without asking that it was Esme's son who died all those years ago before she was changed by Carlisle._

"_She has her son with her," she said wistfully._

_It wasn't a question, but Edward nodded in acknowledgement. Then out of the deep forest a man and woman came to stand by Esme. Edward sucked in a breath causing Bella to look up at him and then back at the new comers. Bella took in their appearance. They were dressed in clothes that looked like they were from an era long before she was born. The man was as tall as Edward and had the same strong jaw line. He stood with a certain authority. The woman, whose arm was looped through his, had beautiful long flowing hair that was the exact same shade as Edward's. Her soft smile confirmed for Bella what she suspected. She was looking at Edward senior and Elizabeth Masen. They had come to bring their son home. _

_Bella felt Edward's grip tighten on her and she looked up into his dazzling gold eyes. He looked torn as he looked between Bella and the three people waiting for him._

"_It's time Edward." _

_He looked into her eyes as the tears began to fall again._

"_They have waited so long for you. You shouldn't make them wait any longer."_

_His hands held hers as he said, "You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. And you are not going to be alone. The family is waiting for you."_

"_The family?" she looked at him puzzled._

_He gave her his trademark crooked smile._

"_Bella, he has been waiting patiently for you to come back to him. He has been there this whole time. Can't you hear him?"_

_Bella stopped for a minute and noticed a voice singing to her. It sounded far off in the distance. It was a beautiful voice and she realized that she had heard that same voice singing to her for a long time. She just hadn't allowed herself to really hear it. It was so familiar, but she couldn't put a face to it. _

"_Who is that?" she asked Edward._

_He smiled bigger, "You'll see when you open your eyes. Now, kiss me goodbye, Bella. And know that I will love you forever."_

_She leaned up and kissed him softly on the lips. His arms encircled her and they embraced one last time. She took one last deep breath; memorizing his incredible scent. She prayed that she would keep that memory for the rest of her life. Edward buried his nose in her hair doing the same. She was his only love and he would never regret a moment that he had shared with her. They pulled apart and she smiled up at him as tears rolled down her cheeks._

"_I will love you forever too, you know." She said as he wiped the tears off her cheeks._

"_I know," he nodded, "but don't forget to keep your heart open. There is more love waiting for you."_

_Edward leaned in and kissed her forehead then slowly backed away. He held her hand till their finger tips lost their connection. She wrapped her arms around herself and swore that they felt as strong and soothing as Edward's had. _

_He turned back and gave Bella his beautifully dazzling smile, "Tell Carlisle he was right. We do keep our souls."_

_He turned back away and walked across the field into the open arms of his mother. It warmed Bella's heart to know that he had his parents and Esme. He was then hugged by his father and his adopted mother. He offered his arm to a smiling Esme. She shifted the baby to her left arm and linked her right with his. She looked over at Bella._

"_Take care of him for me," Esme called to her._

_Bella didn't quite understand what Esme meant, but she waved to them as they walked towards the thick line of trees. Edward senior and Elizabeth led the way. The trees seemed to change before Bella's eyes and opened into a fantastically bright light. It should have hurt her eyes to look at it, but somehow, it didn't. Edward and Esme made their way to the edge of the forest and Edward looked back to Bella one last time. The light did not make him sparkle, but his whole being held an angelic glow that wrapped around him like an aura that she was sure was his love for her. He mouthed the words 'I love you' before he stepped into the light and then they were gone. _

_The only sounds were the distant call of a bird in flight and the gentle wind as it danced through the trees. Bella was alone, but she didn't feel alone. She no longer felt the gaping hole in the center of her soul. She felt warm and safe. She was sad that Edward (and now Esme) were gone. She would miss them terribly, but she felt their presence in her heart. They were a part of who she was and they always would be. Bella turned and took one last look at the beauty surrounding her in the meadow. She lay down in the wildflowers as the sun broke through the clouds. She closed her eyes and let the warmth envelope her._

Bella opened her eyes to the muted light of a new day. She was no longer in the meadow. She was somewhere new; somewhere strange. She took in the room around her. This was not her room in Forks nor the Cullen's house. She had never seen this place before, but there was something oddly familiar about it. She looked out the window and was hypnotized by the beauty of the sunrise. The golden hue reminded her so much of Edward's eyes just after a hunt. The color washed over her and filled her with an inner peace that she had not had in what seemed like forever. She was awake and aware of the world around her. She took a deep breath relishing the feeling of her lungs fully expanding. As her chest stretched, she felt strong cold arms wrapped around her. She turned and saw it was Carlisle. She reached her tiny hand up and cupped his cheek. He gave her a soft smile and asked if she could hear him. She nodded.

"Do you know who I am?"

She smiled softly and nodded again.

"Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat?"

She paused but then nodded a third time. He backed away and went to get out of the bed. Bella reached for him and whimpered.

"Shhh, it's okay. I am just going to the kitchen to make you a quick breakfast. I will be back in a moment."

Her eyes looked terribly frightened.

"Would you like me to have someone else go and I can stay here with you?"

Her eyes relaxed as she nodded and attempted to sit up. Carlisle helped boost Bella into a reclined position against the head board with pillows around her for support. Even though they had kept her mobile, her muscles had lost some of their previous strength. Once settled, she quickly wrapped her arm around Carlisle's. She wasn't sure why, but she needed him hear her right now. Alice was peeking around the door in the next second, anxious to see her friend conscious.

"Bella, I am so glad you are awake. I have missed you so much."

She was talking very slow and softly (especially for Alice). She hoped Bella would be more receptive if she took it easy. Bella smiled in return, but didn't speak. Jasper came into the room as soon as he felt the hum of new emotions; the most prevalent had to be Carlisle's relief only slightly less intense was Alice's excitement. Bella looked up when he entered the room. Bella's last meeting with Jasper had been her ill-fated birthday. He stepped into the room but remained at the doorway so as to not startle her.

Bella smiled at him and he couldn't help the smile he shown in return. When she looked at him he could feel her acceptance and forgiveness. Bella never held it against Jasper that he tried to feed off of her. She knew his nature and understood that it was an inherent danger when you socialized with vampires.

Without missing a beat Alice began to explain where they were when she saw Bella look around the room.

"We moved to Cananda when we left Forks…" she paused afraid that she was going to upset Bella, but she just nodded for Alice to continue. "It is a fantastic house. Wait till you see the library and family room upstairs."

Carlisle interrupted when he felt Bella tense up at his side. He did not attempt to move from her as Bella held tightly to his arm.

"Alice, why don't we take this one step at a time? How about we get Bella some breakfast?"

Alice sucked in a breath realizing that she was probably overwhelming Bella with all this information.

"Sorry Bella. I am just so excited to have you back. How about I make you some

blueberry muffins?"

Bella smiled and nodded. She was trying to absorb everything around her and couldn't bring herself to speak just yet. Alice leaned in and gave her a gentle hug and whispered to her.

"You will never know how much you have been missed."

Bella returned the hug never letting go of her grip on Carlisle. Alice bounced out of the room and took Jasper with her.

"She's awake, Jazz! She's really awake! And you can feel her emotions, can't you? Alice asked as she zipped around the kitchen.

Jasper smiled as Alice's joy filled him.

"I sure can, darlin'."

Alice squealed in excitement as she quickly poured the muffin mix in the pans. Then she stopped, and then the real Alice showed herself. She jumped into Jasper's arms and giggled manically.

"I can see her! I just got a vision of Bella!"

She squealed again and then pulled out of Jasper's embrace.

"I gotta go help her. She needs to use the washroom but doesn't want Carlisle to help her." She explained as she bounded back towards the bedroom.

"Watch the muffins for me!" she called back as she made it to the doorway.

After Alice helped her get settled in the shower she grabbed Bella some clothes and stepped back to the bathroom door. She looked over at Carlisle as he sat on the edge of the bed. His head was bowed over his folded hands.

"Carlisle, are you okay?"

He looked up, stopping his silent prayer of thanks to God, and smiled.

"I can't imagine feeling much better than I do at this very moment."

Alice returned his smile and went back into the washroom.

An hour later, Bella slowly made her way into the kitchen with Alice by her side. She sat at the kitchen table where the one place setting sat in wait. Carlisle held her chair for her and pushed it in as Jasper came over with the warm muffins and steaming coffee pot. Bella felt herself blush at all the attention that was being bestowed upon her. They all smiled at her pink cheeks. Just one more thing that reaffirmed that Bella was back.

Alice and Jasper left Bella to eat but as always, Carlisle remained by her side. He thought that she may want to eat along, but couldn't bring himself to leave. Bella was thankful he stayed. She felt at ease with him near her. Carlisle did not engage her in conversation. He opened the newspaper that Jasper had acquired on his trip into town the day before.

Bella saw the date on the paper, October 12th. Her heart began to speed up and her eyes went wide. Jasper and Alice were back in a flash as Carlisle dropped the paper and reached out for her hand.

"Bella? Bella? Look at me sweetheart. What's wrong?" Carlisle asked panicked, but thankful that Bella was making eye contact.

She cleared her throat and willed her voice to come back.

"It's October? I've been…" she paused not knowing the right word to express her thoughts, "…away for nine months?"

Carlisle kept his gaze locked with hers, "Yes. It has been just over nine months since you slipped away from us."

Bella felt a calm rest upon her heart and mind. She looked to Jasper and saw the concern on his face. She took a deep breath and gave him a small smile of gratitude. She took another deep, cleansing breath and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them she saw the worry written all over Carlisle's angelic face. She patted his hand that held hers.

"I knew I was there a while, but I had no idea it was nine months. It is just a lot to make peace with."

She sat back and pushed her unfinished breakfast away. Alice came to sit in the chair on her other side. Jasper sat next to Alice.

"What do you mean 'there', Bella?" Alice asked softly.

Bella blushed again as she hooked her hair behind her ear. She bit her lip as she looked at the three sets of eyes waiting for her to explain.

"You might all think I am crazy, but I was in the meadow," she paused steeling herself for their reaction, "with Edward."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9~Picking Up The Pieces**

Within a week Bella had regained her footing and was working hard to rebuild her muscle tone. She was quickly being restored to a healthier state than before her suicide attempt thanks to the personal gym Carlisle had purchased for her. Her sleeping was precarious as she still suffered from the occasional nightmare. Carlisle discovered that if he held her as she slept that the nightmares would stop. He wasn't sure what was causing them. Bella refused to speak of them and the only clue that Jasper had was that her emotions ranged from guilt to loss. Bella woke each morning to the feeling of being protected in the strength of Carlisle's embrace. She never questioned why he was there; she was just grateful that he was.

Bella fell into a comfortable routine very similar to that of when she was still catatonic. She had spotty memories of that time, but she knew this felt normal, natural. She would get up each morning and shower while Carlisle would make her breakfast. He would sit down and read the local news on the internet while she ate. Then they would head out for a walk.

They were taking a leisurely stroll around the border of the property on this overcast morning. She had faint memories of taking similar walks while she was still locked within herself. She looped her arm through his as he rested his free hand on top of hers. It seemed natural and comfortable to be with him this way. This was the way he always walked with her. During that time it was for support, but now it was for comfort. They often talked about nonsensical things; whatever might pop into Bella's head.

"So, you guys don't feed on fish?" she asked.

"No," he chuckled, "They do not have a substantial blood supply and they have an unusual aftertaste; almost fishy." Carlisle responded wrinkling his nose.

Bella laughed, but talking about fish made her mind turn towards thoughts of Charlie. She was brought back to her most recent dream of him. He was searching for her in the woods, but he couldn't find her. She wasn't there to take care of him and he ended up starving to death. She knew it was irrational, but she couldn't help the guilt she carried for leaving him the way she did. Carlisle felt her demeanor shift as her voice fell away.

"Bella sweetheart, what is it?" Carlisle asked fighting the instinct to go into a defensive crouch in front of her.

Bella saw the wariness in his eyes, and she squeezed his hand in reassurance.

"Do you know… do you know what Charlie thinks happened to me? She asked in a near childlike voice.

It made Carlisle sad to see the guilt and pain on her beautiful face. He pulled her over to a fallen tree that lay on the edge of the woods. They sat and Carlisle held her fragile hands inside his indestructible ones. He took a deep breath before explaining.

"Do you remember that day you left Charlie's?" he asked; not sure of how much she retained through her dark period.

Bella nodded, "I left him a note stating I was leaving."

Carlisle pushed the hair behind her shoulder that had blown forward with the wind.

"Yes." Carlisle steeled himself to the memory of that day and how close he came to losing her. "When I found you it was very nearly too late. I worked quickly and had torn the sleeves from your shirt to get to your wounds faster. I stitched your arms closed and carried you back to the house. The others had left due to the amount of blood you lost. They didn't want to take any chances. Alice kept getting blind spots in her visions so she suggested that Emmett and Rose steak out the meadow while she and Jasper did the same at your house.

"It seems that Jacob came by your house looking for you and Charlie showed him your note. Jacob offered to help Charlie try and find you. Charlie had headed towards the south while Jacob was able to follow your scent…" Carlisle paused, "You do know that Jacob is a shape shifter, yes?" Bella nodded so he carried on.

"Jacob found your truck and must have followed your scent to the meadow. Luckily Emmett and Rosalie were at a high enough vantage point that Jacob did not smell them. Rosalie and Emmett told me Jacob found your torn, blood soaked clothes mixed with my scent and he began to rage. He burst into his wolf form and howled at the top of his lungs as he dug and rutted at the ground. Soon he was joined by three other wolves who all seemed thoroughly agitated. Rosalie and Emmett quickly made their way back to the house. They were uneasy being outnumbered and away from Alice and Jasper."

Bella shuttered thinking about what may have happened if they had not left when they did. She knew that she would have lost another person that she cared about.

Carlisle went on, "Alice and Jasper followed your father to the police station and were in the trees outside when Jacob and Sam Uley walked in with the remnants of your shirt in hand. They explained to him that they believed that you were killed by the 'bear' that had been responsible for several other attacks in the area. The honest story was that they believed one of our kind had found you and either killed you or changed you into one of us; as Alice overheard their conversation before walking in to see Charlie."

Carlisle waited for a few moments before going on to the next part which he knew would be hard for her to hear. Bella turned to listen to a solitary bird calling out in the cold morning air. She looked like a broken angel the way her skin pinked up from the cold as it kissed her cheeks. Her eyes were looking off in the distance; taking her back to Forks. She took a couple of deep breaths letting the cool air fill her lungs before turning back to Carlisle. She knew there was more. He held her hands a little tighter as he went on.

"He didn't want to believe it. He drove up and down the roads of Forks looking for you. He came by our home in the morning which prompted us to pack up quickly and leave. He must have contacted Jacob and insisted that he show him where your shirt was found. Alice's visions are intermitted, we believe, when the wolves are involved. She was able to see Charlie in the meadow. When he saw the blood and the ruts caused by an animal's paw large enough to be a bear he accepted Jacob and Sam's theory. He did not take the news well, Bella. He fell to the ground crying as he held your shirt."

He looked and saw the silent tears stream down her cheeks. The slightest bit of steam rose as the hot liquid met her chilled skin. He handed her a handkerchief. She accepted and mentally smiled at his old world ways.

"That was when we made the decision to sell the Forks house." He said quietly.

Bella's eyes shot up to his in question.

"Bella, we can never live there again. The Quileute believe that we have broken the treaty. Not only that, but there are too many bad memories to haunt us there. We had our attorney hire a moving company. Everything was packed up and is now in long term storage in Olympia."

Carlisle took another unnecessary breath and ran his hand through his flaxen hair. Bella couldn't help the small smile that crept across her lips at the gesture that was something Edward would have done. She was surprised how each day was easier for her to smile when she thought of him. Her attention was back on Carlisle as the look in his eyes held the utmost concern for how she would receive this next piece of information.

"Charlie had you declared dead based on the evidence and had a funeral for you five days later. Alice was only able to see parts of it due to the Quileute's in attendance. Your mother and step-father flew in. All your classmates came as well. Alice said what she saw of it was a very nice service."

He watched the stray tear that trickled down her cheek. He wiped it away with the pad of his thumb before pulling her into a strong embrace. She cried into his sweater clad chest. He hated that this caused her pain, but he knew it was necessary for her to heal and move forward. She had to put her past behind her before she would be able to make a conscious decision about her future. Her tears dried up a while later. He could tell she was getting cold. Her body temperature had dropped two degrees.

"Bella, we should get you back inside. It is quite bitter out and I don't want you to fall ill. Can you walk or do you need me to carry you?"

His need to care for her was laced in every word he spoke to her. She sat upright and wiped her cheeks of the remaining tears.

"I'm okay. I can walk." Her voice was hoarse from crying.

Carlisle stood pulling Bella up with him. He linked her arm in his and patted her hand. It was a gesture that was never seen in this day and age, but Bella relished the way it made her feel each time he did it. She felt cherished and cared for. She knew that Carlisle had given up a lot to care for her while she was locked inside herself. She wanted to find a way to thank him, but she wasn't sure how. She would think on it some more.

Once they got back to the house, Carlisle made quick work of getting a roaring fire started in the living room. He stood up and brushed his hands off against the legs of his pants.

"Would you like some tea or cocoa?" he offered her.

"I was thinking about making some cocoa, but I can do it."

"Nonsense. Please sit and get warmed up and I will go start the kettle." Carlisle implored.

Bella acquiesced and grabbed a blanket to wrap around her from the back of the chair. She sat on the loveseat closest to the fireplace as Carlisle headed into the kitchen. He was back a few minutes later with a steaming mug of cocoa in hand. Bella graciously accepted it and breathed in the warm air; letting the thick chocolate scent encase her. Carlisle sat next to her and gave her the quiet she needed to process everything. Alice and Jasper had made a trip into town to pick up some special delivery packages. The only sounds around them were the crackling fire and Bella's melodic heartbeat.

Bella took a few sips before asking what she needed to know, "Do you know if Charlie is okay? I mean since I left?"

Carlisle gave her a warm reassuring smile which lessened the stress clenching her heart.

"He is actually doing pretty well. I won't say the time following your disappearance was easy for him. But as time went on he seemed to resume a pretty regular schedule except that he was spending a lot of time on the reservation. Do you know a woman by the name of Sue Clearwater?"

Bella nodded slowly, "She is Harry Clearwater's widow."

"Well, it appears that she and Charlie connected over their mutual loss and are now engaged to be married." Carlisle said with a soft smile.

Bella picked her jaw up off her lap as emotions danced across her face. She was so filled with relief that Charlie not only would not be alone, but that he actually found love again. Then she scrunched up her face as another set of questions twisted through her brain.

"Wait. How do you know all this?"

Carlisle smiled but it looked a bit hesitant since he wasn't sure how she would feel about their methods, "I had Jasper hire a private detective to give us regular reports on Charlie. I wanted to make sure he was okay, and I figured that you would want to know about him when you woke up." He looked down at the couch.

Bella put the mug down and brought her hand to his cheek. It was warmer than normal due to the cocoa. He looked up at her eyes as they shown with unshed tears that sparkled in the firelight.

"Thank you," she whispered, "Thank you for watching out for Charlie for me."

She swung her arms around his neck and squeezed as tight as her human muscles would allow. Carlisle was taken aback by her sudden movement but then found himself relishing in the warmth of her over exuberant embrace. Bella could not express how truly grateful she was. Her worst fears since waking up were always centered around Charlie's wellbeing. The fact that Carlisle took it upon himself to watch over him meant more to her than anything else.

He chuckled warmly, "You are very welcome."

They were still hugging when the front door crashed open.

"Well hey! Can anyone get in on some of that or is it exclusively for the blonds in this family?"

Bella sat back and looked towards the booming sound that was distinctly Emmett. She gasped in surprise as her hands went to cover her mouth. There stood Emmett and Rosalie in all their immortal glory. Alice and Jasper were standing to the side smiling at her expression. Rosalie looked as gorgeous as ever in a tight fitting red turtleneck sweater and designer jeans. Emmett's outfit elicited a giggle from Bella that made him smile from ear to ear. He had missed her laughter so much and had not allowed himself to believe the news that she was better until he saw it with his own golden eyes. He smiled at her and twirled like a runway model showing off the rainbow colored poncho and matching sombrero with little balls hanging from the brim.

Bella got off the couch and attempted to make her way over to them but was stopped in her tracks as Emmett was in front of her wrapping his arms around her and lifting her off the floor. She squealed in excitement as he twirled her in circles.

"Bells! I missed you so much! How are you doin' little sis?" he asked as he set her down.

She held his arms to get her balance before answering with a big grin, "I'm good Em. A little dizzy but good."

He laughed and hugged her again; a little too tightly this time.

"Hey brother bear, don't crush the human," she squeaked out.

He immediately let go, "Oops, sorry Bells."

Bella took a deep breath to re-inflate her lungs before laughing at him. Carlisle had tensed when he heard her strangled cry and his anger and protectiveness shot up on Jasper's emo-radar. Jasper raised an eyebrow in Carlisle's direction, but he didn't notice. Once he realized that Bella was fine his emotions switched quickly back to the joy and relief of having his whole family under one roof again. He made his way over to Rosalie and opened his arms to her. She smiled and gladly walked into his warm embrace.

"Welcome home," he said as he kissed the top of her hair.

"It's good to be home," she sighed in reply.

He released his hold on her as he turned towards Emmett, "Welcome home, son."

Emmett wrapped his massive arms around his creator and slapped him jovially on the back, "We missed you, Carlisle."

Bella stood smiling as she watched the reunion. Alice had explained why Rosalie and Emmett were absent when she woke up. She never blamed any of them for the series of unfortunate events that befell them, but as she looked at Rosalie, she knew that she needed to clear the air. Rosalie hung back and seemed unsure of herself. Bella walked forward and opened her arms to the gorgeous vampire in front of her.

"Rosalie, I am so glad you both are home. We have missed you so much."

Rosalie was stunned by the gesture and stood still as Bella stepped forward to hug her. She looked to the others for some clue, but all she saw was love and happiness as they smiled at her in encouragement.

"Bella, I'm so happy to see you are better. Emmett and I thought about you every day we were gone." She said as she gently hugged her human sister.

Rosalie didn't have Jasper's gift to pick up on the emotions of others, but she could feel the warmth radiating off of Bella and it made her cold exterior crack.

"I am so sorry, Bella. I…" her whispered apology was cut off by Bella shaking her head and pulling back to meet her golden eyes.

"There is nothing to apologize for. I know you feel partly responsible for all that happened, but don't." Bella said firmly, "You have no more control over what took place than you do over the rise and fall of the ocean tides. We all made decisions, good and bad, but we are here now and moving forward. So, no more apologies. Unless you are going to apologize for leaving me here as the only female to deal with the shopaholic pixie."

Everyone laughed except Alice who petulantly stomped her foot and placed her fists on her tiny waist.

"I resent that." She said trying to withhold the smirk that was busting to get out.

"Yeah, but you don't deny it." Bella snarked back at her.

Alice scowled at her for a moment longer then smiled, "True."

She danced over to join her sisters; grateful to be reunited once more. The joy in the house flowed through Jasper and he basked in the wonderful emotions that emanated from his family members. They all went in to sit in the living room. It did not escape Emmett or Rosalie's attention that Carlisle and Bella sat together. He sat on the love seat they had just occupied and she sat next to him with her legs tucked underneath her. Her hand rested gently on his forearm. Their interactions were not like that of two lovers, but it was sweetly intimate and comfortable the way they almost needed to be in contact with each other. Jasper and Alice had told them about how Bella woke up and prior to that how she was only responsive to Carlisle.

Rosalie, feeling infinitely better after hearing what Bella had said, started the conversation, "Bella, I can't get over how much better you look. Are you feeling well?"

Bella smiled, "I am." She nodded, "I've been working out and going for walks on the property with Carlisle and he and Jasper cook way more food than I could ever eat."

They all chuckled.

"Well, now that I am back, you don't have to accept their substandard cooking any more," Emmett said as he kicked his feet out crossing at the ankles while his hands laced together behind his head.

"That's right. I believe Jasper referred to you as the kitchen bitch." Bella smarted back.

Everyone burst out laughing…except Emmett.

"Hey, I'll have you know, I was getting really good at making omelets and homemade bread."

Bella tried to get her laughter under control, "My apologies, Barney Crocker. Maybe you can show me some of your mad cooking skills soon."

The laughter died away to an awkward silence that fell over them before Emmett sat forward leaning his elbows on his knees.

"So, I hear you see dead people." He said nonchalantly.

The next sound could only be equated to a crack of lightning as Rosalie's hand came in contact with the back of his head.

"Shut up, you idiot!" she scolded him.

"Ow! Gee whiz Rosie! What was that for?" Emmett whined as he rubbed the back of his marble hard scull.

"I am sure that Bella doesn't want to revisit that time." Rosalie said through clenched teeth.

Emmett looked towards Bella; worried that he had upset her when he found her shaking with laughter.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

Bella took a deep breath and wiped the happy tears from her eyes, "Oh Emmett, I have missed having you guys around. You are better than any sitcom I can find on TV."

Emmett joined the others as they all began laughing as well. Emmett didn't mind being the butt of a joke, but he filed that away for a day when payback would be required. Bella's laughter quieted down till it stopped altogether though her mirth was still just below the surface.

"I don't mind talking about my 'dark time' as Carlisle likes to refer to it. I consider it my mental hibernation," she joked as she leaned into Carlisle in a kidding fashion.

He smiled at her and it was that smile that told Rosalie and Emmett that Alice wasn't exaggerating. He was falling in love with Bella.

Bella continued on, "But you are probably going to think I am a little crazy; just so you know."

Emmett leaned forward conspiratorially as if he was about to divulge a secret. He looked back and forth then leaned in just a bit more.

"I won't think you are crazy, Bella. I believe in vampires and werewolves and I'm not crazy."

Bella laughed as he ducked just in time to miss Rosalie's hand swinging for his head again.

Bella got comfortable shifting herself a little closer to Carlisle's side before beginning her story. She repeated what she had told the other family members a week prior. She told them about her time in the meadow and how she had no comprehension of what was happening around her in the 'real world'.

"As more time passes, I get memories of walking with Carlisle or sitting as Alice talks. I even remember a few meals that they told me Jasper made for me. The memories are fuzzy, almost like they came from a dream."

"So, Edward was with you the whole time? How were you able to leave him?" Rosalie asked softly. If she was somewhere like that with Emmett, she would never leave him.

Bella smiled and explained about seeing Esme along with her son and Edward's parents. If Rosalie was able to cry, the tears would have been streaming down her face. She was so relieved that Esme and Edward were not along and it appeared that they were okay.

Then Bella gasped when a realization hit her. Carlisle shifted quickly so he was in her line of sight; concerned that she was in pain or she was reliving a bad memory.

"Bella, what is it? Are you okay?"

She pulled her hands away from her mouth and reached for Carlisle's hands as she smiled at him.

"I just remembered something Edward had said to me right before he left me in the meadow."

Her smile grew bigger as she squeezed his hands, "He said, 'Tell Carlisle he was right. We _do_ keep our souls.'."

If the others had not believed her story before, with this statement, they did. Carlisle couldn't stop the beautiful smile that reached across his face.

"Thank you Bella. Thank you for sharing that with us."

Bella's smile grew as she saw the joy on Carlisle's face. She loved to make him smile.

A/N

Thanks for all the love you have been showing this story through your reviews and recommendations. They mean the world to me!

My hubby is going in for surgery next week, so it may be a couple weeks before I am able to post any new chapters. Please be patient, and I will post as soon as I can.

Peace and love,

Nickey


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**

A big thank you to my pre-reader marissa0827. And big sloppy kisses to my NEW beta, Simaril. You save me from my worst grammar habits.

Thank you all for the well wishes for me and my hubby. I am FINALLY better and he is recovering nicely. Your love and concern means the world to me.

**Chapter 10~ Which Life to Choose?**

With Rosalie and Emmett back in the fold, the family fell into a comfortable routine. The autumn's burnt oranges, firey reds and vibrant yellows gave way to the winter season that came fast and fierce to this part of the world. Bella and Carlisle still ventured out on their daily walks, but they were much shorter due to the cold and early snow.

Carlisle was unusually quiet today. Bella could tell he had something on his mind. She pulled herself closer to him by their linked arms. She smiled reassuringly as he looked down at her.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked.

He sighed heavily. This was a conversation that he had put off as long as he dared to. He had no idea how she would accept what he had to offer. He led them over to the familiar fallen log. He brushed away the snow for Bella to sit as he positioned himself to her right. He took a deep unnecessary breath and began.

"I knew when I took you from that field and away from Forks that you would be believed to be dead. I am sorry if that was not what you wanted, but it appeared to be the best way to give you the most options rather than taking you to Forks hospital. I want you to know that I will abide by whatever life you chose for yourself."

Bella watched the snow as it gently fell around them. She listened to everything that Carlisle had to say and allowed his words to course through her brain.

"What do you mean by the 'life I chose'?"

Carlisle sighed, "Bella, Edward may have gone about things the wrong way, but he was absolutely right about one thing. It is not safe for a human to live amongst us indefinitely. There is no way to prevent accidents like that of your birthday party one hundred percent of the time. I could not fathom something happening to you because of the violent side of our nature."

Bella felt panic rise as she realized that Carlisle was telling her that she couldn't stay. Where would she go? She had no family; no friends. She was dead for all intents and purposes.

Carlisle tasted the heightened adrenalin pump through her system as her heart began to race. He moved closer and placed his hand on hers.

"Bella, I would never abandon you. You are very important to me, and I will do whatever you ask. If you want to start a new life out in the world, I will make it happen. I can give you a new identity and enough financial backing for you to live ten lifetimes. If you want to live out the rest of your human life here, the others will understand and they will move somewhere else. I have the ability to stay with you. Your life will not be in danger by my nature, I swear it."

She shook her head emphatically, "But Carlisle, I couldn't ask the others to leave or you to give them up. How is that fair?" she protested as she tightened her hold on his hands.

Carlisle closed his eyes as he shook his head, "Bella, they would merely move to somewhere else. They would still come for visits. You mean as much to them as you do to me. You are their family, and they would do whatever it took to keep you safe."

Bella could see the conviction in his eyes. She knew that there was nothing but truth behind each and every word he spoke. He looked up to the sky for a moment before offering her the last option. The option that deep within him he hoped she would take.

"There is also the choice to become one of us."

Bella sat still as a vampire and stopped breathing. _Was he really offering me what I think he is offering me?_

"If you wanted to remain with our family, I would be willing to change you. If that is what you really wanted." He said in a solemn voice, "Bella, breathe."

She took a deep stuttering breath as her lungs protested from being without air for so long.

"You…you would change me?" She shook her head. "I don't understand. I thought you only changed those who were dying?"

Carlisle nodded, "That has been true in the past. But Bella, you are very much a part of this family." He kneeled in front of her so that they were eye level to each other, "If you wanted to be a vampire and stay with us forever, then I would make that happen for you. It is the least I can do if this is truly the existence that you want for yourself."

Bella sat for several minutes as thoughts raced through her head. With Edward, this was all that she ever wanted. But now that he was gone, did she want to risk spending eternity alone? She knew how hard it had been for Edward to be the odd man out for over ninety years. Was that the price she was willing to pay to stay with the only family she had left? She took a deep breath as she collected her thoughts.

"Can I have some time to think about it?" she asked meekly.

Carlisle released the breath he had not realized that he had been holding and smiled warmly at her.

"Absolutely. Take as much time as you need. And please feel free to come to me with any questions you may have about any of your options."

He stood and offered his hand to her, "Come, let's get you inside before you catch pneumonia."

Alice had seen what transpired between Carlisle and Bella, so rather than let her get lost in her thoughts; she pulled Bella from Carlisle's grasp as soon as they stepped indoors.

"Okay Carlisle, it's time for some girls' only time." She called out in a whimsical voice.

Carlisle buried the hurt of having to end his time with Bella, but then he realized that Alice must have seen what he had offered to her.

"Come on Bella. Rosalie and I got some new nail polishes and we are trying to use them to pick a new color for her car." Alice said lightly as she took Bella's coat and swiftly hung it up.

Bella conceded quickly because even though she didn't enjoy playing Bella-Barbie, she liked hanging out with the girls. This was as close as she had ever been to having sisters and she enjoyed the camaraderie. And now that there was a possibility that her time with them may be limited, depending on which choice she made, she was going to welcome any time she had with them.

The boys were upstairs in the family room playing the latest NBA basketball game on the Wii. Jasper felt the melancholy rolling off of Bella and was taken off guard by the drastic change in her emotions. Normally when she was with Carlisle she was happy, light and contented. Now her emotional aura was stormy and dark. He sent her some of his brotherly love and she looked up when it hit her.

The set-up of the house was unique in that the living room had cathedral ceilings and the family room was the only room on the upper floor. The floor plan was designed so that it took up half the house. You needed at least that much room to hold the massive flat screen TV with surround sound and sectional couches. There was a karaoke stage set in one corner; complete with dual screens and lights. Another corner, the one nearest to the half wall that looked over the living room, was equipped with several game systems.

Bella gave Jasper a grateful smile, but it never reached her eyes. She reciprocated the love before her darker emotions invaded once more. Jasper did not like seeing her this way and planned to talk to Alice about it later.

"Boo-ya! Take that!" Emmett yelled out as his team beat Jasper due to his distraction.

"Rematch?" Jasper asked feeling Emmett's pride and competitiveness battle for first seat.

"Hell yeah!" Emmett shouted and reset the game.

The girls walked in to see that Rosalie had her room all set with more colors of nail polish than Bella believed could exist.

"Oh my…how? I don't have that many nails!" Bella stuttered out.

Alice and Rosalie laughed.

"Bella, you are too funny. We are trying the colors out on that piece of sheet metal over there," Rosalie pointed over to the small table by her window, "I just really wanted to hear what you think of how they look." She said with a genuine smile.

Rosalie and Bella had grown incredibly close since she and Emmett had returned. Rosalie was beyond grateful that Bella did not hold her responsible for their mutual tragedies and knowing a little of what Bella lost allowed Rosalie to look past her original judgment of her.

"If you say so, Rose, but I think you would be better off leaving it up to Alice. She is the in-house stylist and fashionista."

"Fashion and cars are two separate worlds and I can tell that you are a bit of a closet gear head," Rosalie joked back at her.

The girls went through each color of nail polish they had. They laughed and joked as they doodled on the raw metal. Alice was drawing an intricate lily when she stopped and stared off in the distance. Rosalie and Bella stopped as well; waiting for the vision to run its course. Alice came back to them and smiled, but Rosalie knew her and understood that the smile was not a full on Alice smile.

"What's up Ali?" Bella asked as she capped the Cherry Bomb polish she had just been using.

"We have guests coming in two weeks; the Denali's!" she answered excitedly.

"Who?" Bella asked confused.

"The Denali's are our cousins, for lack of a better word. They live up in Alaska." Rosalie explained.

"And they are vegetarians like you guys, right?" Bella questioned.

"Oh, of course!" Alice exclaimed.

Bella let go of the breath she had been holding as there was a knock at the door. Jasper popped his head in.

"Did I hear you right darlin'? Are Eleazar and the girls coming here?"

"Yep," she said popping the 'p', "They will be here two weeks from Monday." She clarified.

"I was wondering when we might see them again." He said with a lazy smile.

Conversations continued about the upcoming visit while Bella made her way to the kitchen to make herself some dinner. The day had gotten away from her and she completely missed lunch. She walked into the kitchen to find Carlisle was already busy cutting up some vegetables for a stir fry.

"Need some help?" she asked as she looked over to see what he was doing.

"I can start working on the chicken while you finish up here." He offered.

He smiled brightly at the beautiful woman next to him. He could have easily finished the prep work on his own, but he enjoyed these times with Bella. They worked in companionable silence until everything was set and Carlisle began to cook while Bella cleaned up a little.

"Bella, are you alright with the Denali's coming to visit?" he asked as he threw the ingredients into the hot oil.

Bella put on a quick smile, "I'm totally fine. They are your extended family after all." She said as she looked down allowing her hair to block his view of her face.

"Anyway, if it was uncomfortable for them, I could go to a hotel in town while they are here. It's no big deal."

Her words were not in sync with her feelings. She didn't want to be away from the family, but she didn't want to be a burden or hindrance either. The Denali's may be vegetarians, but they didn't live with any humans, as far as Bella knew. This may be too much for them and she didn't want to come between family.

Carlisle may not have Jasper's gift, but he knew Bella was hiding something. He stepped over and tipped her chin up. She hesitantly brought her eyes up to meet his.

"Bella, you are just as much a part of this family as the rest of us. If the Denali's have an issue with your presence, then we will deal with it," he leaned down so that he was eye level with her, "but you do not need to leave our home unless you want to. This is _your_ home Bella, for as long as you chose it to be."

Bella stopped breathing as she got lost in the ocher pools in front of her. His eyes were similar to Edward's but in the same instance were so very different. There was a softness that was always there. It gave his eye color a distinct something that always set Bella at ease. She felt herself getting light headed as she got lost in his gaze.

Carlisle gave a soft smile and backed away slightly keeping a hold on her shoulders to steady her.

"Breathe Bella." He said softly.

Bella felt her lungs burn as she took in a much needed breath. When she realized what had happened, she blushed and looked down.

"I apologize. I didn't realize I was too close." Carlisle said as he went back to cooking.

Bella shook it off, "Don't apologize. I forget to not make eye contact with any of you. Alice talks me into more shopping that way." She said trying to lighten the mood.

Carlisle chuckled showing Bella that it had worked. She didn't want to let him know that she was starting to fall for him. Throughout the nine months that she remained in her mental hibernation Bella's heart and mind began to heal slowly. As some memories seemed to come back to her, she realized that the voice she had been hearing in her head was Carlisle's. He was always with her. She could hear the love and concern in his voice. He may have been the head of the family, but he was youthful and handsome. She saw the exquisite beauty in him and his reverence towards others was just one more thing that made it easy to love him. She shook off the thought of being in love with Carlisle. There was no way he could ever love her back. Esme had been his love of a lifetime; his mate. Bella knew that she could never compete with that. What did she have to offer him? She stopped that self-destructive train of thought and went to set the table for her dinner.

Once Bella had gone downstairs for dinner the others decided to head out for a quick hunt. They headed south of the property and quickly came across a large herd of elk. Emmett complained that it wasn't bear, but he drank none the less. When they had all taken care of clean up, they sat on a small cliff watching the day turn to night. It was cold out especially with the arctic wind coming down from the north, but it felt just the same to them as a warm summer breeze.

"Okay Alice, spill. I know there was more to your vision then what you let on in front of Bella." Rosalie urged.

All attention was on Alice as she shifted in Jasper's arms so that she was facing the others.

"I do not see this visit being all hearts and flowers." She paused trying to sort the flashes of different outcomes that she saw earlier. There were still decisions yet to be made. "Eleazar and Carmen are really coming because they want to see us and see how we are coping after losing Esme and Edward. They would have come sooner, but they wanted to give us time to mourn on our own." She explained.

"So, what's the problem?" Emmett asked as he ran his hand up and down Rosalie's back in a loving gesture.

Alice sighed, "Okay, so I told you all about my visions coming back with Bella and Carlisle once she was awake, right?" they all nodded. "Well, I can see Irena and Tanya being cold towards Bella, though I am not sure why. And Kate…well Kate is a whole other issue altogether."

Jasper shifted so that he could see Alice's face, "Please explain about Kate, Ali. She has never been anything but cordial to our family."

Alice was trying to find the right way to explain it, "Well, it appears from what I have seen, Kate plans to try and seduce Carlisle."

That brought out the shouts of disbelief and shock.

"What?"

"No way!"

"That can't be. I have never felt any romantic emotions coming off of her when she has been near Carlisle in the past."

Alice just nodded, "I think they have been there for a while, but I'm not one hundred percent sure from the visions I have had. This obviously will make things a little uncomfortable, but we have bigger problems."

"What?" Rosalie was refocused on what Alice was saying.

"Well, I have told you all about the visions I have had of a possible future with Carlisle and Bella." They nodded for her to continue. "The way this all plays out will basically send Bella running for the hills. I see her asking to leave the family and going out on her own."

"Oh hell no!" Emmett yelled out as he stood up looking ready for a fight. "We just got her back. She can't just leave!"

Jasper sent calm towards his bear of a brother and Emmett tried to shake it off.

"Knock it off, Jazz. I'm allowed to be upset about this. And don't even tell me that you are not." Emmett narrowed his glare at him.

"I am bothered by the idea of Bella leaving us, but I can't say I am surprised. When she came in today I could feel the emotional climate around her abruptly change. She seemed like she was trying to pull back into herself. She was trying to distance her emotions from us." He finished.

Rosalie had endured enough, "That's it!" she yelled, "Emmett, sit your butt down. You look like you are fit to be tied and are planning to kidnap Bella." She turned towards the other couple. "You two," she said pointing back and forth between Alice and Jasper, "Please enlighten us un-gifted vampires as to exactly what has been going on."

Emmett did as he was told and sat back down next to his mate. Jasper began his explanation of what he felt coming from Bella earlier. The others looked confused but then Alice chimed in.

"That was this afternoon?" she inquired.

"Yes." Jasper confirmed.

"That makes sense as Carlisle told her she needed to choose whether or not to remain human while they were on their walk today."

Another round of shouting began until Alice put her tiny hands up as if to hold off their verbal barrage.

"Let me finish. He told her that she could start a new life on her own, she could stay with him but that we would most likely move out in order to keep her safe, or…" she looked at Rosalie as she said the final option, "or he would change her into one of us if that was what she wanted."

A silence fell upon them as Alice's revelation sank in.

"So, if she is pulling away from us emotionally, does that mean she has made up her mind to move out on her own?" Emmett asked; hurt evident in his now subdued voice.

Alice shook her head, "I don't know. She hasn't made a final decision yet. She is considering each of her choices, but nothing is set in stone."

Jasper went back to what was said earlier, "So, how do the Denali's play into her decision to leave us?"

Alice shook her head. "I'm not quite sure. No decisions have been solidified so I am just not sure. I can tell you this though, if Kate gets her way and Bella sees her in Carlisle's arms it will be the proverbial nail in the coffin. I can see her packing her things."

"Hold the phone!" Emmett interjected, "I thought you told us on the way back from the airport that you two thought that Carlisle might be falling in love with Bella. Why the hell would he have Kate in his arms?"

Alice shrugged and then shook her head. "You guys know I can't see the reasons behind people's decisions. I can only see when they make them. I can still see the possibility of Bella and Carlisle ending up together, but there are too many other scenarios and decisions that need to play out for me to be certain."

Again the silence of the night surrounded them as they were all deep in thought. Rosalie felt the fire start to burn deep inside of her. Her sense of protectiveness hit Jasper hard before she spoke up.

"Well, that is just not going to happen. Not on my watch. If she chooses to leave us because that is what she wants it is one thing. But _no one_ is going to force her hand. Those witches and succubus can just stay home." Venom laced every word.

Jasper shook his head, "Carlisle would never turn them away. They are family."

"He would to protect Bella," Emmett said firmly.

Alice was the one to negate this statement, "If we told him the reason we wanted to cancel this visit, we would have to tell him about Kate and about the feelings he has for Bella that he has yet to make peace with." She looked to Jasper and he nodded his confirmation. "It would be a disastrous outcome." Her voice was dejected.

They all sat in quiet contemplation over this lose/lose situation. They eventually agreed that for now it was best to keep this to themselves. They slowly got up and made their way back to the house. They were greeted by the sound of the home theatre playing 'While You Were Sleeping'. Alice led them upstairs. The sight before her nearly broke her heart as Carlisle was sitting casually in one of the sectionals. Bella was lying with her head in his lap as he ran his hands through her hair. Alice had to fight off the pain of the vision that her mind's eye played out as she watched them. It was of a broken hearted Bella on her own in some nondescript town and in the next second she could see Carlisle sitting on the front porch of the house, alone. His eyes looked dead. He just stared out as if he was waiting for someone. Alice knew who he was looking for. She shook off the pain that the vision brought her as Jasper came and wrapped his hand around her waist.

"It's alright darlin'. We are going to make this right. I promise." He whispered lightly so that only she could hear him.

Carlisle shifted slightly to acknowledge their return. Bella felt him move and lifted her head to see the four vampires standing like statues.

"Hey guys!" she said brightly, "Good hunting? Why don't you come join us? We are just watching a movie." She finished as she sat up and snuggled under the blanket she had wrapped around her body.

Emmett always ready to lighten a mood sped over to the other side of the couch sitting on Bella's other side. His sudden movement made Bella gasp and then laugh at his child like nature.

"I love Sandra Bullock. Her husband was a fool to cheat on her. She is hooooot."

He let the last word hang a bit longer than was necessary. Rosalie let him know she didn't appreciate his blatant ogling of another woman as she cuffed him on the back of his neck as she sat on the loveseat nearest him.

"Damn Rosie. You are going to give me brain damage if you keep that up." He said rubbing his neck.

"You have to have a brain to damage." Rosalie quipped in return.

Everyone laughed as they settled in to watch the movie. As it played on Jasper felt the adoration coming from where Bella and Carlisle sat together. It faded to contentment as Bella drifted to sleep while she leaned into Carlisle's side. Once she was out cold, he quietly excused himself and lifted her still bundled in the throw blanket. He cradled her to his chest and carried her downstairs to their bed. The other two couples shared a look of anguish which turned to determination. Silently they all agreed that they would do what was necessary to make the right future come to be.

Bella woke slightly as Carlisle placed her in bed.

"Did I miss the rest of the movie?" she asked in her drowsy voice.

Carlisle smiled softly and nodded, "It's okay. We can pick up where you left off tomorrow if you would like."

She nodded slowly as she stretched.

"Excuse me for a minute?" she asked.

Carlisle nodded as she slowly got up and made her way to the washroom. She took care of her nightly ritual and slipped into a long sleeve satin pajama set. She brushed out her hair and then came back into the bedroom. Carlisle had to quickly hide his reaction. She looked like an angel in the light blue set. It wasn't what you would call a racy ensemble but more of a woman's version to men's sleepwear. But whatever you call it, it looked beautiful the way the material caressed her alabaster skin. Carlisle looked to the window as the snow had once again begun to fall. The moonlight and snow set a soft glow across the room.

Bella made her way back to the bed and climbed in under the comforter and sheets. Carlisle sat against the headboard and allowed her to snuggle in close to his side. He gently rested his hand on her shoulder like he knew she liked. It was a security thing for her; to know he was there.

"Carlisle, would you sing to me? Like you did when I was away?" she asked timidly.

"Whatever you wish sweetheart. Any requests?"

She shook her head. "Whatever comes to mind." She whispered though she had no doubt that he heard her. He thought for only a moment before he began.

'_Stay with me,  
My love I hope you'll always be  
Right here by my side if ever I need you  
Oh my love_

In your arms,  
I feel so safe and so secure  
Every day is such a perfect day to spend  
Alone with you

I will follow you will you follow me  
All the days and nights that we know will be  
I will stay with you will you stay with me  
Just one single tear in each passing year'

He heard Bella's body fall into its sleeping rhythm as he finished the song that was actually the lyrical embodiment of his heart's desire. He wanted Bella to choose to stay with him, but was it fair for him to ask this of her? Could he really ask her to give up her human existence and share an eternity with him? Of all the good he had done over his centuries on this earth, surely this one indiscretion would send him straight to hell…but he could not find it within himself to care.

A/N

Lyrics were from "Follow You, Follow Me"~Genesis


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N** A big thank you to my pre-reader marissa0827. And big sloppy kisses to my beta, Simaril. You rock my socks off my friend.

**Chapter 11~ The Witches of Alaska**

"Beeeellllaaaaa," Alice sang her name as she danced into the living room.

Bella was stretched out on the couch in front of a crackling fire enjoying a book. Her feet rested on Carlisle's lap as he sat at the opposite end with a book of his own. They both looked up at the ever-cheerful pixie.

"What's up Alice?" she asked as she set her book down.

"Come play outside with us. It will be so much fun!" she was bouncing with excitement.

Bella was apprehensive about anything that was considered play with these vampires. She had already learned her lesson with video games and even board games. They were notorious cheats and with their hands being faster than Bella's eyes, they got away with a lot.

"I don't know Alice…" she began to protest but Alice saw an easy victory.

"Oh come one Bella. It will be fun. I promise." She batted her eye lashes and pouted her tiny bow mouth. She had her.

"Okay Alice. Put the pout away."

Alice giggled and clapped her hands as Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie came into the room.

"Baby Bells is coming out to play?" Emmett asked with a huge grin on his face.

"As if there was any doubt." Alice trilled.

"Never bet against Alice." Carlisle added as he got up from the couch and set his book down. "I am going to go work on my computer while you guys head outside."

"Oh no you don't," Emmett went to block his escape, "You can't leave us out numbered. It's guys versus girls. It won't be fair if you don't come out."

Carlisle shook his head and started walking around Emmett when Bella chimed in, "Don't be such an old fuddy duddy. Or has it been too long since you had any to remember how to have fun?"

Carlisle's eyes lit up with her challenge and a wry smile crept across his perfect lips.

"Oh, you are on little girl."

Everyone started laughing as the guys whooped and hollered on their way outside.

Rosalie was gone and back holding Bella's coat and boots, "Here Bella. Get these on and we will meet you outside."

"And you will need these too," Alice said as she slipped sun glasses on to Bella's face.

Bella laughed and quickly bundled up against the winter chill. It was a beautiful late November day. The snow was falling gently and the sun shown against it like a perfect scene in a snow globe. Bella walked out and burst into laughter as she observed the occupants of her 'snow globe'. Now she understood the need for her sunglasses. There in all their immortal glory stood five very sparkly vampires.

"What are you laughing at happy meal?" Emmett called across the yard.

Bella stopped laughing abruptly and scowled at the giant sparkly man. She bent down and scooped up a handful of snow. She formed a snowball and lobbed it in his direction. He easily moved out of the way but then he got clocked in the side of the head with another. He turned to see Alice doing a mini happy dance.

"I got you covered Sister B!" she yelled out.

Rosalie rushed over and swooped Bella into her arms and raced back to the safety of the snow fort that the girls had constructed in the few minutes she had been inside. All three women were giggling manically when Rosalie set her down.

"You two don't waste any time, do you?" Bella said waving her hand at the snow wall.

"Nope." Rosalie answered.

Bella looked over at the guys who were about fifty yards away standing behind a similar structure. She turned and saw a pink towel on the ground about twenty feet behind the girls' fort.

"So, um…what are we playing today?" Bella asked.

"Capture the flag, silly!" Alice smiled.

Bella had played this game back in middle school, but she had never played in the snow and never with vampires.

"Okay, what are the rules?"

Bella knew there would be rules. How else would Emmett and Jasper find a way to break them?

Rosalie explained while Alice began stock piling snowballs, "That towel is our flag and the boys have a matching one in blue behind their wall. The object is to steal the flag from the other team and get back behind your own wall without getting hit with a snowball. Simple enough, right?"

Bella's jaw went lax as she thought about how fast they could run. "I…I can't throw that far or that fast."

"Don't worry about it, Bella. Just do the best you can and make sure to always have a snowball in hand." Rosalie said with a gleaming smile.

"Okay, here goes nothing." She said to the girls and then stood up; snowball in hand, "ALRIGHT YOU DAZZLING DISCO BALLS…YOU WANT IT? COME AND GET IT!"

And with that she lobbed the snowball in their direction. The girls burst out laughing as they joined in.

"Bella! You rock!" Alice yelled as she hurled more snowballs in the guys' direction.

It was easy to see the guys' strategy. Carlisle and Emmett were throwing cover fire while Jasper weaved through the flying snowballs making his way across the yard. Alice went on the attack and pelted him with a snowball in the head as she danced her way closer to their flag. She nearly had it when Carlisle pegged her from behind. She quickly ran back to the girls' fort to start again.

By this point Emmett was making his attempt to cross the field. He made it around the girls' wall when Bella released her snowball at just the right time to nick his ankle. She jumped up and celebrated her contribution before ducking back behind the wall. Alice was on the move once more with Rosalie covering her. Rose was a vicious snow assassin keeping a constant stream of fire on the guys' fort.

Bella got excited as she watched Alice retrieve the flag and start running back. Bella forgot where she was and stood straight up exposing her upper half when a snowball that was meant for Alice hit her in the center of her chest knocking the wind out of her. She fell to the ground gasping for breath. It felt like someone punched her right in the sternum. She tried to catch her breath, but it was too painful. She heard him a split second before he was hovering over her.

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice was ragged with concern, "Bella sweetheart, where does it hurt?"

Bella pointed to the center of her chest as she took short breaths trying to get air into her lungs. The others were all around talking a mile a minute. It all blended together into a mush of words, but she knew she heard Emmett apologizing repeatedly. She tried to tell him it was okay, but she could not get enough air to form any words.

In the next moment Carlisle had her in his arms and ran her into the house. He paid no mind to the snow he tracked in as he made his way to their room. He kicked the door closed as he stepped in. He laid her on the bed and tore the coat off her back as he needed to see her injury and it took too long to take if off the proper way.

"Bella, I need to see the impact site." He said as he lifted her shirt.

He traced his fingers over the center of her chest and then over to her ribs examining each one. There was a red welt where the snowball had hit her, but he could not appreciate any broken ribs. His touch was so incredibly gentle. It made her heart pick up its pace as his hands explored her. Her eyes watched his as he analyzed every reaction her body had. He looked up at her with so much intensity that it nearly set her on fire.

"How is the pain? Does it hurt to breathe?" his soft voice danced in Bella's ears.

The pain was not as intense and Bella was able to take deeper breaths. "It's getting better. It still hurts," she panted, "but not as much."

Carlisle nodded and carefully pulled her shirt back down to cover her flat stomach. "Good. I don't think you broke anything and I cannot smell any internal bleeding. You are, unfortunately, going to have a bruise where you got hit."

"Playing with vampires and all I get is a bruise? Not a bad day." She said quietly.

Carlisle chuckled hard and shook his head as he ran his hand though his hair. "I'm lucky I cannot change because I swear I would be going grey right now."

Bella smiled and reached up to touch the side of his hair. "I'm glad you can't turn grey. I'm partial to the blond."

Their eyes met and there was a connection; a spark. He wanted to kiss her so badly. The urge to lean in and feel her soft lips against his was almost uncontrollable. But would she want him to? She felt her body pull towards him even though she wasn't moving. Bella licked her lips and bit on the bottom one out of habit. His cool breath chilled her moistened lips as he moved in closer. He watched her eyes for any sign that he should stop. She closed them in anticipation of what was to come.

The door banged open at that moment with Emmett crashing into the room; Alice yelling at him to wait.

"Bella, I am so sorry I hit you. Are you okay?"

In an instant Carlisle had turned towards the intrusion and let a low growl vibrate from his chest. He automatically fell into a protective crouch on the edge of the bed. Everyone jumped back especially Emmett.

"Whoa Carlisle," he put his hands up to show he meant no harm, "I just wanted to see that Bella was alright and say I was sorry."

Carlisle realized what he was doing and quickly softened his stance and cleared his throat. "I apologize. I don't know what came over me. I think you just startled me." He looked back at Bella to make sure he hadn't frightened her. She smiled softly at him in reassurance. He turned back to the rest of the family who had followed Emmett through the door, "Bella is going to be fine. The impact will most likely leave a bruise, but no other damage was done."

Emmett slowly approached the bed; making sure to show Carlisle that he wasn't going to hurt Bella. He sat on the opposite side and picked up Bella's hand.

"Bells, I cannot say how totally sorry I am. I was aiming for Alice and when she ducked out of the way you were just there." He groveled.

Bella sat herself up against the headboard and winced slightly at the pain. Emmett winced as well knowing he was the source of her discomfort.

"Hey brother bear, don't sweat it. It was an accident. I am tougher than you all give me credit for."

He looked up to see the smile on her face.

"So, I guess the game is over?" she asked.

Everyone laughed as Bella teased Emmett about finding a way to stop the game when it was clear that the girls were going to win. Bella insisted on moving this little pow wow out to the living room. Carlisle helped her to stand and walked with her to her favorite couch by the fireplace. Emmett went to make her some cocoa while Alice grabbed her a glass of water and a couple of pain pills.

They all sat in amiable comfort chatting when Alice froze with a vision. It was quick and she turned towards the waiting faces before her.

"I see the Denali's. They will be here in three minutes."

"Rose and Emmett, why don't you go and meet our guests and welcome them in." Carlisle suggested.

They nodded and got up to head towards the door. Carlisle rubbed Bella's arm gently as he felt her tense up next to him. Bella figured that the family could hear the new comers long before she could, but soon enough she heard the new voices and the additional steps on the front porch.

The door opened and in walked a beautiful woman on the arm of a man who would best be described as majestic. She realized that this must be Carmen and Eleazar. The three women followed them in and to say that they were beautiful was the understatement of the year. She wasn't sure which one was which, but Bella felt like a dishrag in their presence. Jasper felt her self-doubt and sent her some confidence. She glanced his way and gave him a grateful smile, but she knew the feeling was a forgery.

Carlisle walked forward to greet his guest, "Eleazar, my dear friend, it is good to see you so well." He shook Eleazar's hand and pulled him into a short embrace, "And Carmen, you look as lovely as ever. "He hugged Carmen and kissed her on the cheek.

"Please allow me to introduce you to Bella. Bella this is Eleazar and his wife Carmen. And this lovely trio is Irina, Tanya and Kate. It is good to see all of you again."

Bella thought it was odd that Carlisle did not go to hug any of the other women, but there was a part deep inside her that was thankful for it.

"It is nice to meet you all." She said genially

"So, you are the little human that sent Edward running to his demise?" Tanya said in a sickening sweet tone as she shook Bella's hand.

Bella felt the pain deep in her chest at the inference that Tanya made.

"Tanya! That is completely unacceptable." Carmen chastised.

"What?" she asked with a childlike innocence. She turned back towards Bella, "I didn't mean anything by it, sweetie. It's not like you held the flame to him."

"Tanya!" this time Eleazar was the one to speak up, "You will be respectful of Carlisle and his family while you are in his home and you will be more considerate of their feelings when you speak of their lost loved ones." His words left no room for ambiguity.

The strawberry blond bomb shell released Bella's hand and sauntered over to Alice and Jasper to greet them.

"Cousins, it is good to see you. I am so sorry for your loss."

Carmen slowly approached Bella in an attempt to not scare her, "Hello Bella. It is a great pleasure to meet you." She extended her hand and Bella eagerly accepted it.

Bella liked Carmen. There was something very maternal about her. She had a warm nature and she set Bella at ease right away. Eleazar greeted her in a similar manner but then he quirked his head as if he was studying a puzzle. Bella felt exposed under his scrutiny.

"Eleazar, stop staring at the poor girl. You are making her nervous." Carmen chastised.

"No, no. I'm fine." Bella said trying to take the attention off of her.

"I am terribly sorry my dear. It is just…has Carlisle explained my ability to you?"

Bella shook her head.

"Well, I guess the best way to describe it is that I can see abilities in others. Most of the time it is only visible in vampires, but on occasion I can see them in humans as well. And you my dear, have a gift. I cannot pinpoint it exactly, but I believe it is some form of shield."

Everyone was staring at Bella and she turned bright red under the scrutiny. Alice noticed how uncomfortable she was and instantly offered to take everyone on a tour of the house since none of them had been there since they had moved in.

Bella excused herself to go and take a nap. All the excitement from earlier had caught up with her. Rosalie went out to the garage to start prepping her car for its new paint job. After the tour, Carlisle agreed to go on a hunt with Eleazar, Carmen, Emmett and Jasper. Kate asked Alice to go shopping in town while Tanya and Irina opted to hang out at the house. Carlisle was a little hesitant to leave the house with what had transpired earlier with Tanya, but he knew Rosalie would be there so he set out on the hunt.

Tanya and Irina waited till they could only hear Rosalie in the garage and Bella sleeping in her room. They had kept their thoughts on relaxing and plans to hang out with their cousins. Irina nodded to her sister and they made their way to Bella's bedroom door. They opened it without a sound and walked inside.

"I don't get it," Irina sneered; her voice low so as to not alert Rosalie, "What is the big deal with this human? She looks like all the others."

Tanya shook her head, "I don't know, sister. What did Edward ever see in her? She is boring, plain looking. There is nothing beautiful about her. How did she bewitch him?"

Bella woke to the sound of harsh whispers. She turned her head to find the two vampires standing in her room; staring at her. It was very unsettling and her breathing and pulse began to race.

Irina saw that she was awake, "You know it is all your fault that we are alone," she hissed at Bella, "Laurent would still be alive and with me if those damned mangy wolves hadn't attacked him to protect _you_." Her hate was palpable.

"And Edward would have come back to me if you hadn't trapped him. He deserved better than you. You are a pathetic, weak, inconsequential human. And he is dead because of you. _You_ should not even be breathing right now." Tanya spat at her.

"And Esme," Irina started back in, "Esme was the sweetest person to ever walk this earth and you drove her to end her own existence. Who does something like that to a person as wonderful as Esme?"

Tanya jumped in, "And now Carlisle is without the love of his life; his mate. How can he even stand to look at you much less allow you in his home?" she made a disgusted noise.

Bella's head flipped back and forth between the two of them as they took turns telling her what she knew deep in her heart. She shouldn't be here. It is all her fault that Edward and Esme weren't alive. Carlisle should have let her bleed out in the meadow.

Irina took her turn next, "Why? Why are you here and they are all gone? I could be happy and in love instead I am alone," she began to stalk towards Bella, "and it is all [step] your [step] fault [step]! If I hadn't worked so hard to restrain my natural thirst, I would gladly rid the world of your pathetic existence."

Bella shuffled up and backed away from the encroaching vampire. She looked feral as her eyes darkened with rage. Irina's voice had steadily raised alerting Rosalie to something being amiss.

The bedroom door swung open with so much force the doorknob was imbedded in the wall behind it. Rosalie was instantly positioned between Bella and the other two females. She took on a protective stance and growled at Tanya and Irina.

"What the hell are you two doing in here? How dare you speak to Bella like that!"

Tanya and Irina instantly backed away as Rosalie advanced on them; her presence pushing them out into the hall.

"You don't get to come into our house and speak to my sister that way. Now get the hell out! I don't want to see you until the others return." Her voice rumbled with the growl that fought to break free from her chest.

Tanya and Irina retreated quickly to the woods behind the house. Rosalie relaxed her stance and turned around to see a wide eyed Bella starring at her with tears streaming down her face.

"Oh Bella, I am so sorry. I never meant to frighten you. It's just that…" she was cut off by Bella shaking her head.

"No Rose. It's not you." She sniffled and tried to wipe the tears away, but they kept on coming. "What they said…" she dissolved into more tears making it difficult to speak.

Rosalie was on the bed and by her side in a heartbeat wrapping her arms around her. "Shhh, just ignore those witches. They don't know what they are talking about. Edward would have never chosen Tanya. He had known her for over eighty years and never once succumbed to her advances. And Irina," Rosalie shook her head in disbelief, "how she ever fell for Laurent to begin with is beyond me. And to blame you for the wolves killing him is ridiculous. You have no control over those flea bags."

Bella pulled back, "you don't understand. They were right about everything." She took in a stuttering breath, "If it wasn't for me none of this would have happened. Edward and Esme and even Laurent would still be alive! It's not right! I should be dead, not them! Carlisle should have just left me to die in that field. I am worthless and I don't deserve the air I am breathing!"

Bella was teetering on hysteria when Carlisle ran into the room. He had heard Bella's rant from across the yard and raced back to her.

"Bella, what is wrong? What's the matter? He asked frantically.

He was on the bed pulling her into his lap and wrapping his arms around her. She pushed him away. His touch stung her as she thought about the fact that he should be holding Esme, not her.

"No. Don't touch me. I don't deserve your comfort. I don't deserve any of you." Her voice was husky with tears.

She fell into the pillows and continued to cry. Carlisle wanted so badly to hold her, but in her current state he didn't want to push her. When she did not answer his original questions he looked up to Rosalie for an explanation.

"Tanya and Irina had some very harsh words for Bella. I don't know everything that was said, but it boils down to the fact that they blame Bella for Edward and Esme's deaths and in part for Laurent's death as well.

"Laurent? What does he have to do with anything?" he asked puzzled.

"It appears that Irina fell in love with Laurent and then he must have wandered too close to Forks. The wolves apparently killed him."

"Pro…pro…protecting m-m-me." Bella sputtered out before tears choked her voice.

Carlisle looked down at the fragile beauty lying in the bed. She had worked so hard to get past all this and now they were nearly back to square one. He couldn't take the separation any longer. He pulled her into his arms and wouldn't let her push him away.

"No." she squeaked feebly.

"I will not let you push me away Isabella." He said with a soft but firm voice.

Bella collapsed in his arms giving up what little fight she had left in her. She wept against his sculpted chest. The tears soaked the sweater he was wearing.

"Damn them." He muttered lowly.

"Shhhh, Bella sweetheart, please calm down. You know none of that is true. Edward felt blessed for every day he had you in his life. He told me several times he would have lived a thousand years, as long as he would be given the chance to know you. Please stop crying. Please." He continued to rock her gently and stroke her hair.

Rosalie was practically vibrating with rage. She got up from the bed and left the room before she couldn't contain it anymore. She stalked into the living room to find Eleazar and Carmen berating the sisters for their disgusting behavior. They looked superior and not the least bit remorseful for what they had done. That was the proverbial last straw causing Rosalie to lunge across the room at them. Lucky for the sisters that Emmett and Jasper were there to grab hold of her before she reached them.

"YOU EVIL WICHES! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I TEAR YOU APART AND BURN THE PIECES MYSELF!" she roared at them; her screams so loud that they caused the windows to vibrate.

Emmett had only seen her this angry three other times in this lifetime. He and Jasper had picked up on bits and pieces of what was going on, but it was clear that Irina and Tanya were responsible for Bella crying at this very moment. He felt his anger rise and Jasper was struggling to hold it together with both of them pouring rage into him exacerbating his own.

Carmen was shocked at what she was witnessing as Eleazar pushed her out of harm's way. Just then Carlisle walked into the room. It was clear he was struggling with being away from Bella, but he needed to defuse the situation before anyone got hurt. He walked up to Rosalie who was still struggling to get free from Jasper and Emmett's hold. He ran his hand down the side of her face in an attempt to sooth her ire.

"Rose, will you please go sit with Bella. I need to speak to Tanya and Irina." He spoke calmly; hiding his own fury.

Rosalie stopped fighting. The boys tentatively loosened their grip on her. She flipped her hair back over her shoulder and made her way back to Bella, but not before leveling one last glare at the witch sisters.

Carlisle turned to face the two who were responsible for creating all this drama.

"Tanya and Irina, I have known you both for over two centuries and never in that time have I ever seen you display such blatant disrespect for me or my family." Irina opened her mouth to defend herself, but Carlisle shut her down.

"I think you have both said enough for yourselves for today. It is my turn. I understand that you felt that you had your reasons for doing what you did, however I cannot stand here and allow you to treat a member of my family with such total disregard for their feelings and wellbeing. What you did could have seriously damaged Bella. She has struggled with losing not only Edward and Esme but her parents and all the human relations that she has ever had." Carlisle's voice rose in intensity and he took a deep breath to bring his emotions back under control. "Whether you like it or not, Bella _is_ a part of my family and as such she is under my protection."

Jasper and Emmett stepped to his flanks showing their allegiance without saying a word.

Carlisle sighed heavily, "I'm sorry, but I am going to have to ask you both to leave my home. I cannot have you here upsetting my family."

He turned towards the couple standing off to the side, "Eleazar, Carmen, you are welcome to stay for the duration of your visit. I apologize if my pronouncement makes you feel as if you need to leave as well, but this is my decision and I am standing by it."

Eleazar had relaxed from his protective stance in front of his wife, "We completely understand Carlisle. There is no need to apologize. It is we who should be apologizing to you. The girls will head home to Denali and we shall stay for the remainder of our visit as planned." He turned towards the girls who looked a combination of shocked and contrite, "You two will gather your bags and take the car home. We will find other means to get home."

Irina and Tanya quickly grabbed their stuff and were back in the living room a moment later. It didn't matter that they were both centuries older than Carlisle; to have him angry with them was a blow that struck them to the core. They quietly apologized and made their way out of the house.

Once they were gone the mood in the house seemed to lighten some. Carlisle excused himself to go to Bella. He walked in to see Bella curled up and sleeping with her head on Rosalie's lap. It touched him how protective Rosalie had become of Bella. She turned and gave him a sad smile.

"Why don't you go see Emmett. I think you may have scared him a little bit." He said with a wry smile.

Rosalie smiled with a mix of pride and chagrin. She slowly got up so as to not wake Bella. She made her way to the door but Carlisle reached out to stop her. She turned towards him and was met with his open arms. She stepped into his welcome embrace.

"Thank you Rose. Thank you for being here for Bella." He said into her hair.

"Oh course. You know, you are not the only one who loves her."

Carlisle froze at her words.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N

A big thank you to my pre-reader marissa0827. And big sloppy kisses to my beta, Simaril. You rock my stripy socks off.

**Chapter 12~ The Kiss That Kills**

Alice had seen what was going to happened between Bella and the witch sisters too late to do anything about it. Having knowledge of Alice's gift allowed them to work around it when they planned their assault on Bella. Alice felt terrible and apologized profusely, but Carlisle would not hear it. It was not her fault that she did not see their intentions when they came. Alice shied away because her earlier vision had warned of such a scene and she had not realized it was coming soon enough to stop it.

Peace had fallen upon the house over the next few days. Bella was unusually quiet and kept to herself most of the time. She answered questions that were asked of her but she did not engage in any family time; opting to read by herself in her room. Carlisle tried to keep her company but she insisted that she was fine and he should enjoy his guests while they were here. He begrudgingly agreed and left her to her solitude.

Later in the evening Kate was sitting and watching the family relax and interact in various ways. Eleazar and Jasper were having a debate over the true failure of the South to win the Civil War with their mates by their sides. Rosalie and Emmett were engaged in a heated round of Guitar Hero and Carlisle was off with Bella _again_.

_He is always with her. She is so needy. He doesn't even work anymore and he loved being a doctor. She isn't good for him. She does not allow him to be true to his nature. He needs to be with someone else; someone like me._

Kate mused and tried to think of a way to get him alone. Then she jumped up causing everyone to turn in her direction.

"I'm going hunting. Anyone want to join me?"

Rosalie and Emmett agreed to go. Jasper and Eleazar declined and returned to their previous discussion with Alice and Carmen watching the debate like a tennis match.

As Emmett and Rosalie made their way to the back door, Kate stopped and turned towards Bella's room since she knew that was where she would find Carlisle. Kate quietly knocked on the door before opening it silently. Carlisle turned gently trying not to disturb Bella as she slept by his side.

"I thought you might like to join me on a hunt. You look like you haven't fed in a while." Kate whispered.

She rubbed under her eyes indicating that the shadows under Carlisle's were very noticeable. He looked down at Bella. He knew she would most likely sleep through the night, but he hated to leave her. Kate saw his turmoil.

"Don't worry. We won't be gone long and Carmen and Eleazar are staying here with Alice and Jasper." She said in encouragement.

Carlisle decided that he neglected his thirst long enough having abstained from the kill while out the other day. There were not enough animals for everyone so he let the others feed while he held back. It was the safest decision where Bella was involved.

He carefully removed himself from the bed without jostling Bella's sleeping form. He repositioned the blankets around her and crept out the door behind Kate.

"Come on. They have a head start on us, but I am sure we can catch up." Kate said in a playful voice as they shot out the back door and into the darkened wilderness.

Carlisle could hear the faint sounds of vampires running to the east of the house. He began running in the same direction with Kate close at his side. Her proximity was a little uncomfortable, but he tried not to show it; he didn't want to be rude. He had not been this close to anyone else on a hunt since Esme. When he ran with the family, they always gave him his personal space, which he appreciated. He shifted to his left to try and broaden the gap between them, but Kate quickly compensated and was closer than before. Carlisle tried to shake off the unease and focus on the hunt.

A few miles out Kate grabbed Carlisle's hand and pulled him in a northern direction as she whispered, "I hear something."

Her touch was all wrong. It was hard and cold in comparison to the hand he had been used to holding. Once they were heading in the same direction he nonchalantly removed his hand from her grip. Kate didn't protest but inside, it hurt. Soon they came upon a few sleeping moose. Instinctively they crouched into their individual hunting stances.

"You go first, Carlisle; I just drank a few days ago." Kate said; her voice as soft as the breeze.

Carlisle tried to be a gentleman and decline; allowing Kate to go first but she insisted. Carlisle slowly made his way down to the clearing being careful to stay downwind of the sleeping animals. Their pumping blood called to his darker side and he lunged at the large bull nearest him. The animal did not have time to react as Carlisle quickly snapped its neck and drank the hot vicarious fluid as it poured from the open wound. He looked up at the sound of another moose bellowing and he watched Kate take her own prey down to the ground and begin to drink. Their eyes met and Carlisle felt himself become aroused at the site of Kate feeding. Hunting was a very primal action for vampires and he had not drunk alongside anyone since before Esme had died. He was not necessarily attracted to Kate, but the situation made for a heady aphrodisiac. He pulled his eyes away from the hungry look he was receiving and finished draining the moose. He disposed of the body and gave his silent prayer of thanks. He walked off in the direction they had come to leave Kate to finish her meal alone.

She caught up with him a few minutes later.

"Hey, where did you go off to?" she asked as they began to jog back to the house.

"I didn't want to disturb your meal." He answered genially.

"Oh you weren't disturbing me. I _like_ to share." Her voice took on a sensual undertone.

Carlisle did not respond but picked up the pace to a run. He felt the pull to be back at Bella's side. He did not want her waking up alone.

They ran in silence as the night began to lighten to dawn. They had broken free from the woods and were in the backyard when Kate reached for Carlisle's arm.

"Carlisle wait."

He turned towards her but she did not release her hold on his arm.

"What is it Kate?" he asked kindly.

"I understand that losing Esme was painful for you and I know that no one can ever replace her, but you don't need to be alone."

Carlisle responded, "But I am not alone, Kate. I have my family." His mind wandered to the beautiful brunette sleeping in his bed. He focused on the house hoping to hear her heartbeat but was unsuccessful.

Kate shook her head, "They are wonderful Carlisle, but they are not a mate." Kate stepped in front of him so their bodies were nearly touching. "You have needs and I can satisfy those needs."

Carlisle was about to step back and decline her offer when Kate grabbed his other arm and pulled herself to him. Her lips attacked his and her tongue forced its way into his mouth. She could taste the fresh blood on his tongue and she growled as she kissed him harder.

Bella had woken up earlier than normal when she realized that she was alone. She got up and stretched and wandered over to the window to see the rising sun. In the distance she saw two figures that she recognized as Carlisle and Kate. They looked to be talking when she saw Kate kiss him on the lips. Bella felt her heart break as he did not pull away. She figured that he would not be alone forever and Kate was a good match for him. She was beautiful and worldly and most importantly…a vampire. She could be what he needed. Bella didn't realize she was crying until the hot tears stained her cheeks. She turned away from the intimate moment. It was too painful to watch. She took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she had to do. She went to take a hot shower and get dressed for the day.

Carlisle was shocked by the force of the kiss. He remembered what it was like to kiss Esme. It was soft even though she was unbreakable. It was tender and loving. This kiss was none of those things. He finally came back to himself and extricated his lips and arms from her hold. She smiled seductively at him, but Carlisle put his hands up in front of himself to stop her advance.

"Kate, this needs to stop. You are a beautiful woman, but this is not right. I am not in love with you and I cannot give you what you want."

Kate stepped forward undeterred by his words, "You don't need to love me. Just go with it and let your body enjoy the feeling. Who knows, maybe you will learn to love me as time goes on. We have an eternity."

Carlisle was firm, "Kate, that is enough. I have always considered you a part of my family, but if you cannot respect my answer then I am sorry to say that our relationship can continue no longer."

Carlisle had dealt with Kate long enough and wanted to get back to Bella before she woke. The sun was rising and he knew she would be awake soon. He felt his heart sink when he heard the shower running and knew that she was already up. He quickly grabbed some fresh clothes and hurried to another shower to clean up from the hunt. He was in and out in minutes and made his way to the kitchen to make Bella some breakfast but was beat to the punch by Emmett. He was plating a stack of pancakes and pouring some coffee as Carlisle heard Bella's soft footsteps draw closer. He turned and smiled at her as she entered the room. She smiled in return but it was not the same smile that he had been greeted with each morning since she returned to them. It was shallow, almost forced. Bella turned her gaze away from Carlisle's quizzical expression. She was never going to make it through this if she looked into his soulful eyes.

"Hey Bells! I made you pancakes-Emmett-style." Emmett said with a bright cheery smile.

Bella sat at the table in front of a huge stake of pancakes. "Thanks, they look delicious, but what makes them 'Emmett style'? She asked.

"They aren't burnt!" he quipped in return.

Bella smiled and shook her head in amusement. He was right. He was the only member of the family besides Bella who could cook pancakes without burning at least half of them. You would think with vampire senses that they would know how to cook without burning things, but you would be wrong. Bella felt her heart clench when she realized that she was no longer going to be part of 'the family'. _Maybe I never really was_. She sighed and tucked into the mountain of food in front of her. Both Carlisle and Emmett sensed something different about her but both were leery to broach the subject. Emmett started cleaning up while Carlisle opened his laptop to read the news.

Bella ate about a third of the pancakes before she pushed the plate away and wrapped her fingers around the warm coffee cup. She took a deep pull on it then set it back down. It was now or never.

"Carlisle," her voice cracked under the emotional strain.

He looked up at her, "What is it sweetheart?"

The endearment struck her heart like a cold, hard dagger. She swallowed around the lump in her throat.

"I've made my decision in regards to what I want to do with my life." She said with as much strength as she could muster.

Carlisle closed his laptop to show her that she had his undivided attention. Emmett had since left the kitchen and settled in the living room, but he along with Rosalie, Jasper and Alice waited with bated breath to hear what she said next. Alice sucked in a breath and shuddered as the vision flashed in front of her.

"She's leaving." She whispered.

Bella took a deep breath before continuing, "I would like to move to England and start a new life there…on my own."

Those last three words hit Carlisle deep in his soul. He sat stone still not allowing his emotions to betray him, but inside he felt his dead heart breaking again. First to lose Esme and Edward and now, Bella. His mind was spinning. _She doesn't want to stay with us. She doesn't want to stay with me. _ He gave her a tight smile.

"If you are sure this is what you want," he began but Bella cut him off.

"I'm sure. I don't want to be anywhere Charlie or Renee might come across me and I have always wanted to visit England. I can go to school there and make a life for myself." She said assuredly.

She was pressing her nails into the palm of her hand to keep from breaking down as she looked across the table at the man she just now realized that she was falling in love with. The man who had chosen someone else. Her heart clenched with the pain that knowledge caused.

Carlisle nodded stiffly, "Of course. I can help you get set up in a house there and enrolled in school to begin next semester."

Bella shook her head, "I want to leave tomorrow. I would like to take some time to acclimate myself to the area before I start school."

"Tomorrow? So soon?" his calm voice hid the panic he felt at the idea of losing her. _How am I supposed to let her go? _

Bella swallowed back the heartache, "I don't see the point in delaying the inevitable. I can find my own place. It won't be extravagant. I'll make sure to keep a tight budget."

Now it was Carlisle's turn to interject, "Money is no object Bella. I already told you that I could support you financially several lifetimes over."

"Still, I don't want to take advantage of your kindness." She stood up and took her plate and mug to the sink as her hands shook slightly. She hoped he wouldn't notice. "You have given me so much already. I need to stand on my own two feet." She paused and leaned into the sink in an attempt to regain her composure. "I'm going to go start packing." She finished quickly turning and leaving the room. She didn't want to give him the chance to talk her out of this.

Bella opened her bedroom door to find Alice and Rosalie waiting for her.

"Bella you can't leave! We are going to miss you so much." Alice pleaded.

Bella couldn't look into the face of the woman who was truly a sister to her. She headed to the closet and pulled out the flattened boxes she had found the other day. She pulled them out and began assembling one.

"Alice, as much as I love you all, I need to start living my own life. I want to go to school and see new places." Bella spit out the rehearsed speech that she had concocted this morning.

She stopped short when Alice was immediately in front of her.

"But Bella, you can go to school anywhere and we can move to England with you if that is where you want to go. The climate there is perfect for us." She said as she pulled the box from Bella.

Bella sighed and began to build another box. "Alice this is not the point and you know it. Carlisle gave me three choices and I made the one that is best for me; best for everyone." She said the last part under her breath but Alice heard her of course.

"It is not best for everyone. You are a part of this family. It doesn't work without you." Alice said as she tried to take the second box form Bella, but she held firm.

"You and I both know that's not true, Alice. You all functioned fine for fifty odd years before me and you will go on without me the very same way. Besides, I make everything off balance. You all have to hunt at least twice as often to control your inclination to kill me. The smell of human food disgusts each one of you. Not to mention Carlisle gave up his job just to take care of me when I was catatonic. Now that I won't be around, you all can go on with your lives. You can go back to school if you want and Carlisle can go back to the hospital. I am not going to be a burden any longer." She found strength in the truth behind her words.

Bella struggled to get the box from Alice until she finally allowed her to have it. Bella began packing her clothes in it. Through all this Rosalie had remained silent, but she spoke as she got up to help Bella pack.

"Bella, if you really want to leave, then I won't stop you." She paused and placed her cold hand gently on Bella's arm, "but if you are doing this because you think you are 'a burden' to us then you need to stop. Alice is right. You are just as much a part of this family as Ali and I. If you want to stay, you should stay." Her voice was completely sincere.

Bella could not look into Rosalie's eyes because she knew she would break down. With her eyes staring into the half packed box she responded.

"I am doing this for me, Rose."

"And this has nothing to do with what Tanya and Irina said the other day?" Rosalie pushed.

Bella shook her head. Words failed her. Rosalie was never her biggest fan in the beginning, but now she was not just her sister, she was her protector as well. She couldn't lie to her.

"I…I just need to go."

Bella felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes and she blinked them back willing them not to fall and give her away.

Rosalie sighed hard, "If this is what you really want, then I will help you. You pack and I'll arrange your flight and make sure your stuff gets shipped to you."

"Thanks Rose." Bella said as she finally lifted her eyes from the box.

The beautiful vampire smiled warmly at her. Rosalie logged onto Carlisle's computer to set up the flight itinerary. She also contacted the house service that they had over in Surrey. She emailed them that the house needed to be opened and have the kitchen stocked. Bella had no idea of the assets the Cullen's had all over the world. Rosalie was sure that Bella would like this house. It actually belonged to her and Emmett. They vacationed there from time to time. As much as she wanted Bella to stay with them, she would never begrudge her decision to live out her human life. If it was her, that is what she would choose.

Alice refused to help with Bella's plans to leave. She made her way to her room and flopped down on the loveseat by the bay window. She kept thinking of different ways to try and convince Bella to stay and would wait for the vision to come to her. But each time it ended with her leaving.

The boys also tried to convince her to stay but to no avail. Emmett was hurt and angry that he couldn't fix this. He went out into the woods and began knocking down trees in frustration. Jasper joined Alice in their room. He watched the hope and then aggravation play across her face repeatedly. He rubbed soothing circles on her back trying to help her stay calm, but she was too upset for it to do much good.

Carmen knocked gently on their open door before stepping in; concern clearly written on her face.

"Alice, Jasper, what's going on? The whole house is in unrest."

Jasper motioned for Carmen to sit in the plush chair in their sitting area.

"Bella has decided to leave us and move to Europe. The family is not taking the news well." He explained.

"Well, that might be the understatement of the century. Eleazar is out back trying to calm Emmett down before he takes down every tree within a fifteen mile radius." She smiled softly trying to lighten the mood but then went on, "Carlisle is standing in the kitchen just staring out the window. He has not moved in at least an hour. Did Bella say why she was leaving? I thought she was happy here. I actually thought she and Carlisle might… I mean the way they were always together. I just thought…"

Jasper nodded sadly. "As did we."

The three vampires sat in silence as Alice continued to search different scenarios but none gave her the outcome she wanted.

Bella continued packing up her things. Rosalie gave her a suitcase to use and a carry-on duffle. It gave her enough space to pack what she would need to get her by till her boxes would arrive. Emmett had calmed down enough to come in and make Bella a sandwich and soup for lunch. He brought it to the room but left right away. It was too painful to watch her getting ready to leave.

"So, your first flight leaves from the Prince Albert Airport at noon. Since it is at least an hour drive there, we should plan to leave at nine. This flight will take you into JFK International in New York City. Then you will have a two hour layover until your flight to London Heathrow Airport. I have already reserved you a rental car there until you get settled and buy your own."

Bella smiled at her most unlikely ally. "Thank you so much for doing this Rose. It means a lot to me."

Rose stood up from the desk and walked over to sit on the bed as Bella taped the latest box shut. She wondered how she managed to accumulate so much in such a short period of time, but then Alice's name floated across her consciousness.

"Bella, are you sure you won't reconsider? Maybe just staying till after Christmas? Alice and Emmett would be overjoyed and Carlisle…"

She saw Bella flinch when she said Carlisle's name.

"Bella?" she stood and walked over as Bella ducked into her closet to grab the clothes she was packing in the suitcase.

"Bella? What is going on? Did Carlisle hurt you?" her voice was tentative.

Bella whipped around with wide shocked eyes.

"What! No! Of course not! Carlisle would never hurt anyone."

"Then why did you flinch when I said his name?" Rosalie asked.

"I didn't." Bella denied.

"You did! I saw you."

Bella shook her head. She continued to hurry and pack her things.

"Bella," Rosalie's voice was deep with warning, "what aren't you telling me?"

Bella stopped moving and set the shirts she was holding into the suitcase. She turned towards the prying eyes that were set on cracking this mystery.

"Just drop it Rose. Carlisle has his life to live and I will have mine. It is as it should be. I will not be the reason that he doesn't find happiness. Now, leave it be." Her stare told Rosalie that she would not speak on this subject anymore.

It was dark out when Bella finished packing. She knew that everyone wanted to spend time with her before she left. Alice thought that karaoke would be a great way to have some fun for her last night with them. Bella did not fancy herself a singer, but was willing to go along since it was her last night. They all threw their names in a hat. Even the Denali's got in on the action.

Emmett's name was first and got up on stage. He scrolled through the list of songs and pressed in the number code. He grabbed the microphone and the first beats of the music began. Everyone howled with laughter as he shook his butt and sang Britney Spears' 'Oops I Did It Again'. Rosalie, Alice and Bella were falling over each other as he danced around on the mini stage. Kate came into the room and sat on the armrest of the chair where Carlisle was. Bella had to turn away before it was too much.

Alice and Rosalie got up next and did a duo to Pink's 'Raise your Glass'. Everyone clapped and cheered as the guys did catcalls at their wives.

Carmen was next and sang a love song that Bella had never heard before. She watched as Carmen looked directly at Eleazar the whole time she sang. It pained Bella to see that kind of love between two people that she would never have. She couldn't help herself and turned to look over at Carlisle. He was looking at her as Kate leaned across the back of his chair. Bella turned quickly back towards the stage as Carmen finished her song. She stepped down and Eleazar pulled her into his lap and kissed her shoulder. Bella felt another stab of pain to her heart.

Kate was next and sang 'Gett Off' by Prince. She swayed her hips and gyrated to the sultry beat of the music. She practically stripped Carlisle with her eyes, but he never moved nor gave her an ounce of encouragement.

Jasper jumped up on stage when Alice pulled his name. As soon as the first three beats of the music played the girls moaned in agony calling out together, "Not again!"

Jasper just smiled his lazy smile and began singing,

'_You can tell the world you never was my girl  
You can burn my clothes when I'm gone  
Or you can tell your friends just what a fool I've been  
And laugh and joke about me on the phone'_

Bella had to laugh at Jasper as he sang his heart out to 'Achy Breaky Heart'. Carlisle looked over and a sad smile spread across his lips. He loved to hear her laugh and he knew after tonight it was going to be a long time before he was blessed to hear it again. He kept thinking about what Rosalie had said to him about 'not being the only one who loved Bella'. It was true that he loved her, but he loved all of his family. But was it more? When Kate was kissing him, it didn't feel wrong because it wasn't Esme. If felt wrong because it wasn't Bella. It was Bella that he wanted to kiss. It was Bella that he wanted to hold. And it was Bella that he wanted to spend the rest of his existence with. The realization hit him like a two ton truck. He was in love with Bella!

But she was leaving…tomorrow. She chose to leave. How was he supposed to tell her now? He promised her that he would respect which ever life she chose, and she decided to live on her own. He was deep in his own mind when he heard Alice call Bella's name.

Bella tripped up onto the stage but caught herself before she fell. She was red with embarrassment. Alice hopped up with her to help her work the karaoke machine.

"Here Bella. I think this song is perfect for you." Alice winked as she plugged in the numbers then jumped back down to her seat.

The music began and Bella smiled to herself as she realized the song Alice had picked.

'_All my bags are packed,  
I'm ready to go,  
I'm standing here,  
Outside your door,  
I hate to wake you up to say Good Bye.  
But the dawn is breakin', It's early morn`,  
The taxi's waiting, he's blowin' his horn.  
Already I'm so lonesome I could die.'_

Her voice was soft, but it fit the tenor of the lyrics perfectly.

'_So kiss me and smile for me,  
Tell me that you'll wait for me,  
Hold me, like you'll never let me go.  
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane,  
Don't know when I'll be back again,  
Oh Babe I hate to go.'_

She looked down at her brothers and sisters and smiled at them. They were her family in every way that counted. Then her gaze ghosted over to Carlisle and the way he looked at her made tears well up in her eyes. There was pain and what looked like love. But she knew it wasn't for her. She began to choke up on the last refrain and set the microphone down.

"I'm sorry. I…I can't." she whispered.

She ran down the stairs with the others calling after her. They could have easily caught up to her but kept to a human pace. She went into her room and closed the door behind her. Jasper knocked on the door.

"Bella darlin', are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine Jasper. I am just really tired." She lied.

"Bella it's Ali, can I come in?" Alice called through the door.

"No Alice. I am just going to go to bed. I will see you guys in the morning. Sorry if I ruined your plans." She clutched at her chest as the pain inside raged.

"You didn't ruin anything sweetie. Have a good sleep." Alice said as she walked away with everyone but Carlisle.

He waited till he heard Bella go into the bathroom and come back out. He knew she would be ready for bed then. He opened the door and stepped in to find the lights out and Bella curled up on her side under the blankets. She was turned away from him. He crawled into bed next to her and for the first time she shrank away from him.

"Carlisle, would you mind?" her voice was barely audible, "I'd like to be alone tonight."

It took everything in her to send him away, but she knew it had to be done. She was doing it for him. Kate should be his priority now and Bella was sure she wouldn't want him sharing a bed with another woman; even if she was a human woman.

"Of course, Bella. I apologize." He said as he got off the bed and walked to the door. He swore he could feel his soul splintering as he distanced himself from her. "Sweet dreams Bella." He whispered as he closed the door.

Bella bit the inside of her cheek to hold back the tears that begged to break free. It was no longer just her heart that ached. Her whole being was pulsating with the agony of leaving her love behind. She eventually gave in to sleep, thankful for the reprieve from the agonizing pain.

Carlisle felt lost as to what he should do now. This was the first time in almost a year that he had not spent the night in Bella's presence and more recently with her in his arms. He looked down at his empty limbs and his sadness grew ten-fold_. I need to get used to this. She is leaving me tomorrow._ Just the thought of it caused him to feel a great pain in the center of his being. He couldn't stand to be this close and not be with her. He went out onto the front porch and sat in the wooden swing letting the cold nocturnal air blow against him. As hard as it was to be near her, it was so much worse to be away. This was as far as he could go.

He sat there letting his mind take him to happier times. He thought about the sound of Bella's laughter when Emmett would do his victory dance after winning a game. He thought about her sleeping on _their_ couch in front of the fire and how she would curl her hand over his arm or leg as if she was trying to secure him there. He closed his eyes to see her more clearly, but then his eyes shot open as he heard a whimper. He was outside his bedroom door a split second later. Jasper was already there focusing peace and lethargy through the door.

He turned towards Carlisle, "Nightmare." Was all he said.

Carlisle nodded in understanding. He listened to Bella's heart rate go back to a slower pace, but the whimpering continued on and off throughout the night.

The next morning Bella noticed that the Denali's were conspicuously missing when she walked into the kitchen.

Rosalie answered her questioning glance, "Eleazar, Carmen and Kate went into town this morning…to give us some space."

Bella nodded in understanding.

"What would you like for breakfast Bells?" Emmett asked as he started heating up the griddle.

"I'm not really hungry this morning, Emmett. I just want some coffee."

Emmett was disappointed that he would get to fix her one last meal but poured her a cup and handed it to her. She leaned back against the counter and drank. No one was talking. They all just stood and stared.

Bella broke the silence, "Hey guys, it is not like I am going to Mars. I am only an ocean away."

Alice walked up to Carlisle who had positioned himself by the window staring out into the now deforested expanse. She spoke quickly so that Bella couldn't hear, "I need to speak to you, _now_."

Bella watched Carlisle follow Alice out of the kitchen and down to her and Jasper's room. She was confused but continued to drink her coffee.

"Now remember Bella, you need to drive on the opposite side of the road. No acting like a stupid American and driving on the right side of the road." Emmett quipped.

Alice closed the door behind Carlisle once he entered her room. She turned on him with venom in her eyes.

"Carlisle, you need to tell her."

"What are you talking about, Alice?"

"You know exactly what I am talking about. Tell Bella that you love her." Alice insisted.

Carlisle huffed and ran his hands mercilessly through his hair, "I can't Alice. I promised I would respect her decision. I can't ask her to stay if she wants to go. It is not right."

"Damn it Carlisle! She doesn't want to go. She thinks she is doing what is right for us. You need to tell her, and you need to tell her now!"

Bella finished her coffee and rinsed out the mug. She headed down to her room and took one last look around. She grabbed her carry-on but it was quickly removed from her shoulder. She turned to see Jasper with a sad smile on his face.

"Let me darlin'." She nodded and released the handle. "I am really going to miss you, Bella. Please promise that you will come back to the States to visit us now and again."

Bella smiled softly at him, "I promise Jasper."

He nodded and grabbed her suitcase as if it weighed nothing. They walked down the hall to Rosalie and Emmett who were waiting to say goodbye. She didn't know where Alice and Carlisle were.

Emmett reached her first wrapping her in one of his classic bear hugs. He had learned how to apply just the right about of pressure so as to not hurt her.

"I'm gonna miss you brother bear." She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Not as much as I am going to miss you." He said, "Take care, okay?"

"I promise."

He set her down and released her from his embrace. Rosalie stepped up and opened her arms. Bella did the same and they embraced warmly.

"You will always have a home with us. You can come back anytime you want." She spoke softly.

Bella nodded. She felt the tears try to make their reappearance and speaking would let them loose. When they pulled away Bella saw Alice stomp into the room with Carlisle behind her. Alice grabbed her purse and keys. She grabbed the suitcase from Jasper and headed out the door. She would be the only one taking her to the airport as per Bella's request.

Carlisle walked up to her and she stepped forward. She didn't feel like she could hug him and then be expected to let go, so she kept her arms at her side. His body hummed with the need to touch her. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and beg her not to go. The others stood by and watched. Jasper felt the pain radiating off of both of them. This was so hard for him to bear witness to.

"Thank you for everything Carlisle. I really hope you will be happy." She said formally. She was doing all she could to hold back her real emotions.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to call." He responded.

She reached to take her duffle from Jasper then stepped back and turned towards the door. "Don't eat any bad elk." She said with a quick smile and then she was out the door.

She was walking down the stairs to the walkway. Each step further away from him was killing Carlisle. He couldn't do it. He couldn't let her go. _God forgive me_.

He shot out the door and called out to her.

"Bella!"

She turned and he was in front of her without delay. She looked at him with confusion as the tears had finally won out and were streaming down her face.

"What is it?" she asked as she quickly wiped the wetness off her cheeks.

He reached for her hands, "Bella please don't leave me."

Her eyes went wide as his hands held hers tightly.

"I don't understand." She choked out.

"Bella, please don't leave me. I can't stand the thought of you being away from me." He leveled her with his gaze so that she would feel the truth in every word he spoke. "Bella, I am in love with you."

A/N

Karaoke song Credits

'Leaving on a Jet Plane' was written by John Denver, but I love the version song by Chantal Kreviazuk.

'Achy Breaky Heart' by Billy Ray Cyrus

'Oops I Did It Again' by Britney Spears

'Gett Off' by Prince

'Raise your Glass' by Pink


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N **A big thank you to my pre-reader marissa0827. And I bow to the greatness that is my beta, Simaril. She rec'd AVitD to .com and they chose to list this as a Friday Fic Fit! Thank you my friend, your love for this story blows me away.

**Chapter 13~ A Change of Heart**

Bella stood as still as a vampire. _He what? What did he say? She replayed the last thirty seconds over in her mind. He…loves me? Wait! No, this can't be right. What about Kate? What about that kiss?_

"No, no, no," she chanted as she shook her head in denial, "You're not in love with me. You can't be."

Carlisle was thankful that Alice had shooed the others back into the house. If Bella was going to reject his love and leave, it would be easier to take without an audience. No less painful, just less embarrassing. He watched Bella pace back and forth on the sidewalk like a caged animal. She kept mumbling different things that even Carlisle's keen hearing could not decipher. He was at a loss as to what to do. He had just handed his heart to her on a silver platter and he stood in wait; wondering if she would accept it or crush it.

He had noticed his growing feelings for her since she had woken up, but he did not allow himself to act on it. Vampires have the ability to process emotions quicker than humans. He would always love and cherish his time with Esme, but he was also aware of the love he had for Bella and how it had changed over the past two months. He knew that Bella's heart was broken over the loss of Edward. He did not know if she was open to accepting a new love especially from another vampire. She had accepted his companionship so easily; would he be as lucky with his love and devotion?

Bella continued to pace. She still held her carry-on bag over her shoulder. Carlisle figured that it had to be getting heavy. He resolved to interrupt her mumbling rant. He reached out in an attempt to take the bag from her, but she quickly grabbed onto it as if it was a life preserver in the middle of a storm at sea.

"Bella, why don't we go inside and discuss this? He suggested hopefully.

Her eyes went wide and wild; she stopped pacing immediately.

"What? No. I have to go. I have a plane to catch. The flight plan is set. Rose got me a house to live in and…and…and if I don't leave now, I am going to miss it." She spoke so quickly the words overlapped.

The whole situation was chaotically thrashing around in her head so she instantly reverted to decisions that were already set. She didn't have to think about what he said or about what she saw. She didn't have to think about anything other than getting to the airport and getting on the plane. _Why can't I think straight? My choice was made. He gave me three options and I made mine. When I was with Edward, the decision to join him for an eternity was easy. And when I allowed myself to dream of a future with Carlisle, I couldn't picture it any other way then with both of us as equals; as vampires. But then Kate stepped in and he chose her. It broke my heart to leave, but I knew I did not want to spend an eternity alone. That is why I decided to go out on my own. I was supposed to leave. That was the plan._

Carlisle's face fell. He couldn't stop the hurt that overcame him. He should have known it was too much to hope for. She was intelligent and beautiful. Her presence radiated warmth and love. He should have been grateful for the time he had with her and not pushed for more.

"As you wish." He whispered.

He let go of the handle of her bag allowing the weight of it to rest back on her shoulder. He looked away. It was too painful to look at her now. She was going to leave and take his heart with her. Bella saw the anguish on his face and she pulled herself out of her perfunctory haze.

"Wait Carlisle." Her voice was barely a whisper.

He turned his face back to hers at the sound of her voice.

"I thought you were, you know, with Kate." she said quietly.

It was Carlisle's turn to look confused, "I have never been with Kate. She is family, just as Carmen and Eleazar are family. Nothing more."

Bella shook her head, "No. No, I saw the two of you kissing yesterday morning in the back by the woods. And then the way she was sitting with you last night and the song she sang…"

Understanding lit up Carlisle's face as he stepped towards her and took her hands in his.

"Bella, that was all Kate, not me. She took me by surprise when she kissed me yesterday after the hunt. I told her that I wasn't in love with her and that there could never be anything between us."

Bella wanted so badly to believe what he was saying. "But that doesn't make sense. She is beautiful and strong and perfect and above all else she is a vampire. She is everything that I am not." The sadness in her voice was so thick.

Carlisle wanted to cry when he realized how much the idea that she was not good enough hurt her. He bent down so that his face was level with hers and he locked his gaze with her eyes that looked as if they could break into tears at any moment.

"Bella, Kate may be a beautiful vampire, but she is not the one who possesses my heart."

She sucked in a sudden breath as she studied his butterscotch eyes. Her chocolate brown ones began to fill with tears as she heard the next words he said to her.

"You are the only one I want, Bella. You are my everything."

The weight of his words made the air around Bella heavy. Her bag slid down her arm and was caught where Carlisle still held onto her hand. Gravity was her worst enemy as her knees buckled. Carlisle quickly released her hands and wrapped his arms around her pulling her body into his. Her tears were flowing free at this point and he wasn't sure if they were happy or sad tears.

"Bella?"

The only response he received was the feel of her hot tears soaking through his shirt causing it to stick to his chest.

"Bella, sweetheart? Please say something?" he pleaded as he continued to keep her braced against his chest.

She took a stuttering breath then Carlisle heard the words that he thought may never pass her lips, "I love you too Carlisle."

The shock of her declaration took his breath away and he gasped. Bella looked up to see elation replace the surprise on his beautiful face. She smiled softly and he leaned down and kissed her forehead before he pulled her flush against his chest once more. They stood like this as the gentle snow fell around them. Bella's weaker human ears did not allow her to hear them, but Carlisle heard the others loud and clear as they cheered and laughed from somewhere inside the house.

He held her securely in his arms for the longest time. He didn't want to move and break the precious bubble they were in. At this moment it was as if they were the only two people in the world, but he knew that if they didn't go inside soon that they would not be alone much longer. There were four vampires itching to welcome Bella back home even though she never actually left.

"We should go inside." He said into her hair.

Bella nodded in agreement but did not say anything. She had already said everything he needed to hear. _She loves me_. Kept replaying in his head.

Carlisle slipped her bag over his shoulder and turned them towards the house. He kept one arm around her waist to assure that she was real and was still with him. He had her now and wanted to hold her forever. They walked in the door and Bella was surrounded as Emmett was the first to pull her from Carlisle's hold. He knew that he was not the only one excited about Bella staying and he restrained his instinct to pull her back. He needed to share her…for now. Bella was suspended off the floor as Emmett hugged her tightly. She laughed at his exuberance.

"Put her down you big oaf," Rosalie chastised.

Emmett complied, setting Bella back on the floor. Rosalie pulled her into a hug.

"So…no England?" she asked smiling.

Bella returned the smile, "Not today. Someday yes, but not today."

Carlisle couldn't help the dread that settled over him at her words. And as if she could feel his change in emotion she turned her head towards him.

"…and definitely not alone." She smiled at him reassuringly before turning back to face Rosalie, "But thank you so much for supporting my decision. I know it wasn't easy for you."

Rosalie nodded and smiled, "I have some travel plans to cancel." She said as she made her way over to the computer in the kitchen.

Alice was next to have Bella wrapped in her arms. "Don't even think about leaving us again. Do you hear me?"

"Yes Alice." Bella agreed, rolling her eyes, "It's not like you didn't see me deciding to stay."

Alice pulled back to look at her, "I didn't. Not until you made the decision to do so and that was only ten minutes ago. Up until then all I could see was you in England," she hugged her again and whispered, "and you were miserable there by the way. But then, so was Carlisle, here without you."

Bella nodded into her shoulder understanding that Alice was absolutely right. She would have been miserable away from Carlisle. She hugged the pixie tighter. Bella looked over Alice's shoulder to see Jasper standing there smiling. He reached his hand out to her which she gladly took. Bella knew that he cared for her, but the incident from her birthday always made him feel like he needed to keep his physical distance from her. He squeezed her hand gently and sent her happiness, relief and love. She had never experienced his gift while he touched her and her face lit up as the emotions ran through her like they were truly her own. She focused her feelings on gratitude and love and Jasper smiled in return.

"I'm glad you decided to stay home, Jasper said with his slight southern drawl, "where you belong."

He squeezed her delicate fingers one last time then let go. Alice finally released Bella from her grasp and then spun around so she was standing next to Jasper holding his hand.

"Come on Jazzy. Let's go for a run."

"Whatever makes you happy, darlin'."

Rosalie walked back into the living room, "Everything is all taken care of." She smiled at Bella.

"Thanks again Rose." Bella said as Carlisle helped her out of her coat.

Rosalie nodded and turned towards Emmett who was still standing there with a ridiculous grin on his face.

"Hey monkey man, wanna give me a hand in the garage? I gotta change out the shocks and struts on your jeep if we are going to take the Denali's cave exploring later."

"Man-jack at your service." He winked at Bella and headed out to the garage with his wife.

Bella took a deep breath and her stomach rumbled. She blushed as her hands went to her middle.

"Hungry?" Carlisle asked.

Bella nodded, "I think my appetite just came back with a vengeance."

"Come on. Let's see what we can put together for you."

He offered his hand which she gladly took and they walked into the kitchen together.

After Bella finished eating, she washed her dishes while Carlisle dried and put them away. She smiled to herself as she thought about how very 'domestic' the whole scene was. They had not spoken at all with the exception of Bella thanking Carlisle for the Monte Cristo sandwich that he made her.

When they were finished in the kitchen, they headed upstairs to the family room; fingers entwined. They sat and watched the snow fall. Bella was wrapped in an afghan and snuggled into Carlisle's side. The room was filled with the soft music he had turned on with the remote for the iHome. He couldn't get over the peace that enveloped his heart and soul as he held Bella in his arms. He never believed he could have this again. He thought when he lost Esme that he would be a widower till the end of his days. He didn't believe he deserved the blessing that was the stunning brunette by his side. But as much as he felt he was unworthy, he would thank God every day for disagreeing with him.

Bella took in a deep breath filling her lungs with the scent that was all Carlisle. She sighed in contentment feeling his arms embrace her a bit tighter. She was in awe of him. She didn't believe that he could love her, but as she turned her head to look at him she saw it there in his eyes. He truly loved her with every fiber of his being. She reached up to caress his beatific face. It was so perfect that it must have been chiseled by God Himself. Bella wanted to kiss him so badly.

Carlisle felt the desire deep inside to press his lips against Bella's supple ones. He watched as she pressed her teeth into her bottom lip. He wanted to pull it free and gently suck it between his own. He could hear her heart begin to pick up and he knew she wanted it just as badly. That's when he heard a phone vibrate out in the garage at the same time a car was pulling up the driveway.

"I got it covered Alice." He heard Rosalie say.

The front door opened and Eleazar, Carmen and Kate came in. Kate had been anxious to get back to the house and 'console' Carlisle after Bella had left. Instantly Rosalie was in front of her.

"Whatever you are thinking about doing…don't." she placed her manicured hand in front of Kate stopping her in her tracks.

Kate looked confused, "I have no idea what you are talking about, Rose. I was just looking for Carlisle." She responded as she tried to maneuver around Rosalie.

Rose stepped in front of her again, "That is exactly what I am talking about."

Eleazar spoke up then, "Why do I hear a heartbeat? Is Bella still here?"

Rosalie turned to answer with a full smile, "Yes, she is," she returned her focus on a sour looking Kate and said just loud enough to hear it, "and if you know what is good for you, you will keep your distance from both Bella and Carlisle for the extent of your visit. Edward may no longer be here to read your mind, but Alice can still see your intentions and Jasper can feel _exactly_ what you are feeling." She pointed a finger into Kate's chest, "So, I suggest you wipe that look off your face and play nice…or else."

Rosalie stepped back and smiled as she heard Carlisle and Bella descend the stairs.

"Please excuse me; I left Emmett holding the jeep. We should be ready to go in about a half an hour."

"Sounds fantastic Rose, thank you," Carmen replied sweetly, "it has been ages since we went spelunking."

Rosalie was gone like a breeze as Bella and Carlisle made it to the bottom of the stairs. Carmen noticed instantly that their fingers were interlocked together and she smiled.

"Are you and Bella joining us today?" she asked of Carlisle.

"No. I think we are just going to spend a quiet day in. Does that sound good to you, sweetheart?" he asked as he kissed the back of the hand he was holding.

Bella blushed at the way he spoke to her. She nodded, "That sounds perfect."

Kate bit her tongue hard enough to draw venom and winced at the self-inflicted wound before it healed. Her first instinct was to grab her things and head home to her sisters, but she didn't. She put on a fake smile and 'played nice' as Rosalie had so eloquently put it. She wasn't giving up on the idea of her and Carlisle. Bella was nothing more than a human. _I can wait her out._

Kate sauntered across the room, "I am going to go change into more appropriate attire for the caves." She said as her hands ran over her hips in an attempt to draw Carlisle's attention to her perfect figure. It didn't work, even though she was wearing a sinfully tight and low cut red sweater dress with knee high black stiletto boots.

Kate huffed in frustration once she got to the guest room; frustrated but undeterred. Pulling out a pair of black skinny jeans and a sleek workout shirt that hugged every immortal curve she smiled deviously. She braided her long corn-silk hair and made her way back to the living room where everyone was sitting in wait. By now Alice and Jasper had returned from their outing.

Kate swallowed the venom that pooled in her mouth when she watched Carlisle push a strand of hair behind Bella's ear. The touch was so gentle and intimate. Her jealousy burned inside her and Jasper cocked his head and quirked an eyebrow in her direction. Kate could feel the electricity tingle along her skin. _Just one good shock and I'll bet I could stop that annoying beating heart of hers._ The calm waves Jasper was sending hit her, causing her to turn and notice his piercing stare and Kate quickly reined in her emotions.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get going!" she called to the group in her melodic voice.

Jasper kept a wary eye on her as the others readied themselves to go.

"How are we going to get there? We can't all possibly fit in your Jeep?" Carmen inquired.

"Oh we won't," Rosalie explained, "that is why we are taking Emmett's Jeep and _my_ new Hummer." She said with pride.

Alice began bouncing and giggling, "A race! How fun!"

Emmett perked up, "Guys versus girls?"

"Would they have it any other way?" Jasper asked as he knocked into his brother's shoulder.

"Alright Eleazar, you are with us." Emmett waved his arm towards where he and Jasper now stood, "Carmen and Kate you are with Ali and Rose."

Carlisle chuckled, "I've got a fifty that says the Jeep doesn't come back without at least _some_ damage to the front bumper or the undercarriage."

Emmett clapped his hands over his heart, "I'm wounded. You think so little of my driving skills?"

"Only when there is a competition added to the mix."

Bella giggled at Emmett's expression.

"Et tu Bella?" he pointed an accusing finger at the red faced woman, "Alright, I'll take that bet and show you both."

"I'd like to switch cars." Eleazar said raising his hand like a child.

"Come on you traitor," Emmett called as he looped his arm in Eleazar's.

Bella and Carlisle were both in a fit of laughter as they waved to everyone as they left. Bella could hear Alice laying out the rules.

After the two engines roared to life and tore off the property Bella finally stopped laughing. Her cheeks were flushed from the laughter. Carlisle reached up and cupped her cheek. Bella leaned into his cool touch and savored the contrast between her skin and his. She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment. Carlisle was about to kiss her when Bella began to yawn. She was exceptionally tired since her sleep the night before was riddled with nightmares. Carlisle pulled back frustrated that once more he was stopped from kissing her delectable lips.

"You look tired, sweetheart. Do you want to go and lie down for a little while?"

Bella shook her head but another yawn slipped out. She chuckled in embarrassment, "Maybe a little, but I don't want to go to bed."

"Well then here," he shifted so that his body was lounging on the couch towards the outside edge. He patted his chest, "come lie here and rest your eyes for a bit."

Bella smiled and quickly snuggled in between him and the back of the couch. Carlisle pulled a blanket off the back and wrapped it around her. She felt secure and loved.

"Comfortable?" he asked as he combed her hair back from her face.

"Mmm hmm, perfect."

He couldn't agree more. He felt her heart beat above his silent one as she wrapped her hand in his and rested it on his chest. He breathed in her pure scent and closed his eyes imaging holding her like this one hundred years from now.

"Perfect." He whispered.

**A/N**

If you liked this chapter, then you need to pay homage to my beta (goddess) Simaril. I had this chapter ready to post since FRIDAY, but received an error message every time I attempted to edit the story. Simaril showed me where to find the fix that brought this to you today. So take a moment and check out her new story (it's her first, so be gentle). I already love it and I am not easy to please. ;) .net/s/6848892/1/Terms_of_Engagement


	14. Chapter 14

A big thank you to my pre-reader marissa0827. This chapter is dedicated to her because she gave me the idea for Carlisle's surprise for Bella. As always, I bow to the greatness that is my beta, Simaril. Even when her brain cells are malfunctioning, she still manages to clean up my shit.

Big sloppy kisses to the best support team a writer could ask for. {MWAH}

**Chapter 14~ To New Beginnings**

Bella woke to the feeling of strong cold arms wrapped around her. She smiled to herself. It wasn't a sexual thing to sleep in Carlisle's embrace at night; it was a comforting thing. He gave her a sense of peace and security that she relished. It was something she had missed terribly the night before and she never wanted to be without it or him ever again. Bella rolled over to face her blond guardian angel as he loosened his hold on her slightly. He smiled at the serene look on her face.

"Good morning beautiful. Sweet dreams?" he asked in his velvety soft voice.

She nodded and closed her eyes to work through the last of her sleepiness. The bed dipped as Carlisle leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. She opened her eyes and met his golden ones. She sighed in disappointment. _Why doesn't he kiss me? He said he loved me. Did he say that just so I wouldn't leave? Oh God! What have I done? I told him I loved him too! _She quickly schooled her emotions so as to not give anything away.

Carlisle saw a quick spectrum of emotions play across her face, but he dismissed it thinking she must still be drowsy from the night before.

"Why don't you go take a shower and get ready for the day and I will go and prepare your breakfast." He offered as he sat up in one smooth motion.

"I can make my own breakfast, Carlisle." She protested.

Carlisle shook his head, "I have plans for us today and would like to get started out as soon as possible because we have a bit of a drive."

"Plans?" she cocked her head to the side questioning him.

"Yes, _plans_ Miss Nosey," he tapped her nose with his index finger and winked, "Now get moving and dress warmly. That is all I will tell you. You will just have to be patient to find out more." He said with a playful smile.

She loved this side of Carlisle. It showed his eternally youthful twenty-tree year old self instead of the erudite leader of three hundred plus years. As much as she was not a fan of surprises, she refused to ruin Carlisle's fun. So Bella pushed her inner doubts away and hopped out of bed. In the next minute she was in the washroom starting the water in the shower to warm it up.

Forty minutes later Bella walked into the kitchen to be greeted by the delicious smell of freshly baked blueberry muffins and coffee. She stopped to savor the aroma before making her way to the table.

Carlisle turned to take in the sight in front of him. Bella was dressed in jeans that hugged her curves in a way that should be outlawed. She was wearing a grey long sleeve tee and a dark green down filled vest. Her hair, that now reached the middle of her back, was done in a simple braid. She looked perfect.

"Carlisle, these smell amazing. How is it that a vampire who has never eaten muffins can make something that smells and I'm sure tastes so good?" Bella fawned as she sat at the table where two muffins with melting butter on top and cup of coffee sat in wait.

"He smiled at her compliment, "I just followed the directions. Once I could no longer smell the raw egg and flour, I knew they were done. Are they good?" he asked as he watched her take a bite.

"Mmmmm," her eyes closed as she let the smell and taste of the warm muffin play on her senses. The blueberries exploded as she bit down on them starting another round of moans.

Carlisle felt himself harden at the pleasure he was observing Bella take from something he made. He quickly sat down in front of his laptop to hide his situation.

"Good is the understatement of the year." Bella proclaimed, "These are unbelievable. Where did you find fresh blueberries this time of year?"

"Alice has her ways. I swear she enjoys shopping for anything; including fruit." He chuckled.

Bella laughed with him, "Speaking of her, where is the pixie and tall, blond and southern?" She looked around and listened realizing that there were no other sounds in the house, "In fact, where is everyone this morning?" she inquired.

"They went for a day trip to hunt. It has been a while since they have really stretched their legs and gone for a good long hunt. They will be back later this evening." Carlisle explained.

Breakfast continued in companionable silence as Carlisle read the news online. He used to feel this was in poor taste to do so as Bella ate, but she informed him that it was worse manners to stare at her as she ate her food. She finished the two giant muffins along with her coffee then proceeded to clean her dishes. Carlisle busied himself making a thermos of hot cocoa to take with them. Bella watched him, but she did not ask any questions; though it was killing her not to.

She slipped on her boots and went to grab her coat, but Carlisle stood smiling holding up a brand new ski jacket for her to put on. He stepped into his own boots and a similar jacket. He didn't plan on running into any humans for the first part of their day, but he was a master of keeping up appearances.

They walked out to the garage and Bella stopped short when she saw Carlisle stop at the passenger side of Emmett's jeep.

"We're not taking the Mercedes?" she asked as she took his proffered hand.

"Not today," he answered while giving her a boost up into her seat, "The jeep is more suitable for the terrain." He explained as he helped her with the seatbelt.

Carlisle gave her another mysterious smile and closed the door before jumping up into his seat a second later. Long gone were the days when their unnatural speed startled her. It was as normal as seeing them play X-Box or watch TV. It was just who they were and she accepted them and their nature completely.

Bella looked at the jeep, "So Emmett won the bet then? I don't see any damage."

Carlisle chuckled and pointed to the pile of scrap metal in the corner of the garage, "Not quite. Rosalie worked her magic and repaired the damage last night while you slept. She knew we needed the jeep for today."

He started the engine and they were on their way. From the internal compass in the jeep she knew they were headed north.

The ride to their destination was pretty uneventful. Bella often took opportunities to ask Carlisle about his past and about becoming a vampire herself. She knew she needed to decide on whether or not she would live out the course of her natural life or become a vampire; thereby forfeiting her human life. Carlisle had promised to stay with her either way, but she was unsure if she would be willing to ask that of him if she decided to stay human.

"Was it hard to live this life before you found Esme?" she asked softly.

It had become easier to talk about Esme and Edward as time went on. They often shared memories of their lost loves and found comfort knowing they both understood the pain of the other.

Carlisle thought about her question for a moment before answering, "There are many things about this life that present impediments. Being a 'vegetarian' is probably the greatest of these. I have found that over the years this has become less difficult with people of a like mind around. Edward and Esme were the first members of our family. They made my life more complete. The addition of the others had a similar impact. I would never choose to live this life alone again now that I know what it is like to have a family."

Bella thought about what he said but he didn't answer the question she was really asking. She chose her next words carefully, "But having known love, given the choice, would you choose eternity without someone to love?"

She looked to him with as calm of a façade as she could muster. She did not want to give anything away. She was already doubting the wisdom of declaring her love for him when it now seemed that he did not see her in the same way. Bella did not think that Carlisle had lied to her; just that his sense of love for her may have been more familiar rather than the kind of love between a man and a woman. She understood that he had loved Esme like no other. She never expected that he could look at her or anyone else the way he used to look at his first mate, but she had hoped.

Carlisle understood what Bella was asking of him. Would he choose this life with the knowledge that he would spend it as a bachelor? Would he be happy living the rest of his time without someone to love him? Without Bella's love? No. He knew he would not. _Why is she asking this question? Didn't she hear me tell her I love her? Didn't she reciprocate the same?_

His focus returned to the drive as it became a bit more tricky to maneuver as they were now on an off road path. They ascended up the side of a hill; the jeep's four-wheel-drive handling the incline with ease. Soon Carlisle pulled the jeep to a stop on a plateau and engaged the emergency brake. He unhooked his seatbelt and turned towards Bella. He searched her eyes to see if he could get a read on her thoughts before answering her question.

"I understand what you are asking, but Bella, this decision can only be made by you. None of us were given the opportunity to contemplate this existence. I can't tell you which choice to make, but I can tell you this," he reached out and gently took her warm hand into his cold one, "you will never be alone in this life. I will always be there for you. And even if you decide to remain human, I will be there for you as long as you walk this earth."

Bella heard the truth in his words and knew that he _would_ always be there for her. She nodded in understanding. Silence engulfed them.

She couldn't continue on this path or she might break down. Attempting to lighten the mood she asked, "So, where are you taking me today?"

He smiled as he gestured to the outside of the jeep, "We're here."

He got out of the jeep and came around to help Bella down from the exaggerated height of her seat. When she jumped down Carlisle had his hands on her waist bringing her close to his sculpted body for a moment before he stepped back to allow Bella her personal space. Her feet sunk into the snow up to the top of her boots. Carlisle took her gloved hand and walked her to the back of the jeep. He opened it up to reveal ski boots, skis and poles for each of them.

"Skiing?" her voice squeaked.

"That's the plan. Have you ever?" he asked as he started to unload the equipment.

She looked at him like he had just given birth to a giant wolf, "I am still alive, aren't I?" her voice was laced with sarcasm, "I hope you brought you little black bag doc, cause I don't see this day ending well for me."

Carlisle smiled at her as he boosted her up to sit on the back of the jeep. He slipped her boots off and replaced them with the ski boots. He stood upright in front of her and slipped a beanie cap on her head; covering her ears.

"Bella, do you believe I would let anything happen to you?" his eyes searching hers. She shook her head in response. He smiled at the apprehension in her features, "Then trust me. You will love this. I have been skiing for years and it is great fun." He reached up and pulled her bottom lip free from her teeth. "I promise I will not let you get hurt. Are you ready?"

This time Bella nodded and gave a small smile. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before changing out his boots and stepping into his skis. He handed her a pair of gloves that matched her jacket. Carlisle set Bella's skis on the ground in front of her. He helped her step into them until the boots locked in place.

He made sure she was steady and holding the jeep as he got a winch line from the front of the jeep and threw the length down the side of the hill. He took another line and anchored the jeep to a large tree opposite to the hillside. He came back and slipped on a backpack which Bella assumed carried medical supplies just in case.

"The first few times down I am going to have you hold the poles and I will hold your waist while we go down tandem. When you feel more comfortable, you can let me know and try going on your own."

"Okay." She said as she tried to get her nerves settled.

She trusted Carlisle. He would not let her get hurt. He cared for her; of that she had no doubt. She allowed him to guide her to the edge of the hill. It didn't look too steep and the path was clear of trees and other obstacles. He looped the poles in her hands then he slid behind her with his skis parallel and to the outside of hers. He felt her heart rate accelerate. So he pulled her body flush against his and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Shhh, relax sweetheart. I've got you." He whispered.

She melted into his disarming hold. He felt her loosen up under his touch. He loved that she reacted to him this way. Her trust in him was having a certain repeat effect on his body. He loosened his grip on her so he could allow for some space between their bodies so as to not make her aware of his problem. He let his hands slide to her waist.

"Okay, now just lean forward and push off with the poles."

Bella tightened her hold around the handles and did as she was told. She let out a strangled squeak as she started slowly down the hill. She felt Carlisle's grip tighten; reminding her that he was right there with her. He gave her instructions to shift this way or that to turn her skis. His skis were right against hers in case she went off course, he could bring her right back. Bella held her breath as they glided down the hill. It felt amazing!

As they neared the bottom of a hill they began to lessen in speed. Carlisle let them come to a natural stop once their momentum died off. Bella was giggling like a little girl. He stepped out from behind her to see the smile that stretched from ear to ear on her wind kissed cheeks. Her laughter died off suddenly and Carlisle looked at her with concern.

"What's wrong? Did you not enjoy that?"

"No!" she said shaking her head vigorously, "That was so much fun I can hardly stand it. But," she turned to face the hill they had just descended, "how are we supposed to get back up there?" she asked pointing up.

It was Carlisle's turn to laugh. He took off his back pack and pulled out a sturdy looking leather belt with a large 'D' ring.

"Do it yourself ski lift," he explained as he looped the belt around his waist.

He guided Bella over to the side of the hill closest to the front of the jeep. He found the end of the winch line and linked it to his belt. He took the poles and hooked them on his backpack and pulled Bella in front of him.

"Now, keep your legs straight and your skis facing forward. Lean back a touch. There, don't worry; I've got you."

He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her tight. He reached for his keys with his free hand and pressed a button on the keychain. Soon they were being slowly pulled back up the hill. Bella started laughing again; this time, a slightly nervous laugh. She reached down and held onto Carlisle's arm and leaned back into his chest. _This is almost as good as going down the hill_, she thought.

Once they made it to the top, Carlisle unhooked the winch and threw it back down the hill. He got set up with Bella at the edge and asked, "Are you ready to go again."

She nodded happily, "Yep. Let's do this."

Her laughter echoed off the mountains around them and it made Carlisle's dead heart feel like it could soar.

On the fifth run Bella decided she was going to try it on her own. Carlisle grabbed a second set of poles for himself and let her go down before him. She weaved and wobbled a few times, but recovered nicely.

She reached the bottom and froze for a moment until the realization hit that she made it without falling. Then she jumped and turned herself around doing a mini happy dance. Carlisle couldn't help the laugh that burst out at the sight before him. She was glorious like this; youthful, fun-loving and absolutely beautiful.

"Can we go again?" she asked excitedly.

"Of course!" he happily responded as he hooked up the winch and pressed the button once more.

Bella got a little ahead of herself on the next run down the hill and lost control. She screamed out before she wiped out on the packed snow.

"Oh no," Carlisle whispered as he flew down the hill to be by her side. He quickly kicked off his skis and ran to Bella; hovering over her slightly twisted body in the snow.

Her body was shaking, but when Carlisle took a second to look, he realized she was shaking with silent laughter. He breathed a sigh of relief as he took in her unadulterated joy. He closed his eyes thanking God that she was alright. Bella looked at the angel above her. He was so perfectly beautiful and she couldn't contain the urge to kiss him. If he wasn't going to make the next move, then it was up to her. Carlisle's eyes remained closed when he was acutely aware of feeling Bella's hot breath on his lips a split second before her sweet lips pressed against his. Her fingers laced into his soft blond locks as he responded to the kiss.

He knew vampires did not sleep nor could they dream, but that was exactly what he thought he was doing. And if this was a dream, he did not want to open his eyes and make her disappear. But his eyes did open because he had to know that she was real and was really kissing him. His golden orbs took in the most amazing sight he had ever beheld. Bella was there beneath him in the snow and she was kissing him. He brought his hand up and gingerly cupped the side of her face as her tongue peaked out to lick his lips. He groaned as the heat seemed to run through him like an open flame. Her touch awakened something inside him that had lain dormant for nearly a year. He felt desire build from deep inside him and he thrusted his hardened manhood into her thigh. Instantly regretting it; fearing he would offend her or frighten her. Neither of which were a concern any longer as Bella moaned into his mouth at the feeling of his erection on her leg. She did this to him and she loved it.

It was the most erotic kiss she had ever experienced. His tongue reached out and caressed hers in such a way it made her toes curl inside her boots. He continued to gently touch and stroke the side of her face with one hand as the other found its way to her hip. He rubbed small circles there until it ventures lower and he squeezed her thigh as he pushed his titanium rod into her other leg once more.

"Mmm Carlisle," she said as she was forced to turn her face to catch her breath, "Please, don't stop."

Her words were like the most beautiful song ever sung. He kissed her chin and down the center of her throat and back up the side of her neck, licking the vein that pulsed with her delicious life force just below the surface of her delicate skin. The sensation of his cool tongue on her heated neck caused her hips to buck up into his leg begging for friction.

"My Bella, you taste like heaven." He whispered as he suckled on the shell of her ear ever so gently.

Bella having been away from his lips long enough turned into him and pressed her supple lips into his marble ones. The contrast in their body temperatures was emphasized by the cold of the snow around them. It felt so good; too good to stop, but reason began to bang around in Carlisle's head. And as much as he never wanted to pull his lips away from his angel, he knew it wasn't healthy for her to lay in the snow with an ice block on top of her.

"Bella, how about we take this to a warmer location? Unless you want to keep skiing?" he asked only marginally serious.

Bella nodded as his lips nipped hers, "All done skiing. And I will go anywhere with you as long as we can continue this."

Carlisle stood up and pulled Bella along with him. He kissed her again once they were upright. Now that he knew what it was like to kiss her, he didn't want to stop. Bella knew what it was like to kiss a vampire, but this was Carlisle's first experience kissing a human; even when he was one. Back in his human life he was being groomed to take his father's position as the head of their church. He had been so busy with studies and assisting his father in his hunt for the evil in the world that he had yet to seek out a wife. When he was changed, he had remained celibate until he found and changed Esme. So for all intents and purposes, this was uncharted territory for him. He felt young again having this new experience and he smiled in spite of himself against Bella's mouth. She broke off the kiss and looked at him quizzically.

"What is that smile for?" she asked.

If he could have blushed, he would have been candy apple red, "Nothing. I just really enjoy kissing you."

Bella giggled…and blushed, "Well I really enjoy kissing you too." She punctuated by bringing her lips back to his.

He reluctantly straightened up and led Bella over to the winch line for one last trip up the hill. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled her neck during the slow ascent. It gave Bella a combination of chills and heat that caused her whole body to shiver. Once they made their way to the jeep, Carlisle helped Bella out of her skis and boots. Back in their seats, they picked up where they had left off. Bella cursed the gear shift which stopped her from getting as close as she wanted.

Her hands seem to automatically find their way into his thick flaxen hair. Her nails scraped his scalp in such a delicious way that Carlisle began to purr. Bella froze in surprise and her eyes popped open as the kiss stopped along with the purring.

"Carlisle, did you just…purr?" she asked warily.

Again Carlisle was eternally grateful that he was unable to blush. He cleared his throat. Though it was totally unnecessary, it gave him an extra second before answering.

"Yes." He answered almost timidly.

Bella giggled again, "I like it."

Her eyes deepened in color as her arousal spiked and Carlisle could taste it on the air. He did not want to take her like this; in the front seat of Emmett's jeep. All of the sudden Bella's stomach growled; giving him the escape he was looking for.

"We should get going. You haven't eaten since this morning and with all the exertion, you must be famished." He quickly said as he reached across her body to buckle her in.

Bella wanted to protest but her stomach demon let out another grumble so she nodded in defeat. The ride down the hill was lighter; more relaxed than the trip up. Carlisle reached to pull her left hand into his right which he proceeded to hold the rest of the time. He repeatedly traced tiny circles around each knuckle with his thumb. Every few minutes he would lift her hand to his mouth to place the gentlest of kisses on the back of her hand, her knuckles or finger tips. The gesture was sweet and sensual all at the same time.

They pulled up to a small restaurant that had a log cabin exterior and a quiet understated interior. Bella worried that she was underdressed, but Carlisle assured her it was a very casual establishment. She was relieved to see he was right as the hand full of patrons there were dressed in similar fashion.

The hostess led them to a table near the back per Carlisle's request. She seemed to zone out for a moment when he spoke, but then recovered quickly; flushing in embarrassment. Bella had to look away and smile because she knew exactly what that felt like. Carlisle held the chair out for Bella as she thanked him as she sat. Her voice was caught in her throat making her words barely more than a whisper.

He sat down across from her and smiled as the muted lighting did wondrous things to Bella's skin tone. She felt his gaze on her before she looked away and blushed. The waitress, who introduced herself as Cindy, was by their side now placing menus in front of them prattling off the night's specials.

"Can I start you off with something to drink?" Cindy inquired.

"I'll have a glass of merlot." Carlisle said assuredly. "Bella?"

She was going to order a Coke but then realization struck her and she smiled. The legal drinking age in Canada was nineteen.

"I'll have a glass of white zinfandel. Thank you."

Cindy nodded and stepped back, "I'll give you two a minute to decide." And with that she was gone.

Carlisle gave Bella a crooked, knowing smile, "Is this the first time you are having alcohol, Isabella?"

The way he said her full name made her body react as if he just licked the full length of her spine. She was so thankful that her blush was her only tell that gave her away. Or so she thought. Carlisle smelled her heightened arousal and was curious as to what she was thinking. Then he wondered…

"What are you in the mood to eat tonight, Isabella?"

Bella visibly shivered as she tried and failed to hide behind her menu. Sure enough, there was that delicious aroma once more. _Let's file that little secret away for a more appropriate time._

"I think I will have the chicken Piccata. And you?" she asked teasingly.

"Hmmm, everything looks so good, but I just don't have a taste for anything I see on the menu."

Bella gasped at the wink he gave her. Two can play the teasing game, he thought.

Cindy returned with their drinks and took their order. Carlisle ordered a steak; rare. Bella waited till Cindy was out of ear shot and leaned in over the table.

"Steak?"

"Mmm hmm." He said with a nod, "We discovered that if the meat is rare enough it is almost palatable. In the case where we might find ourselves forced to 'eat' in public, it is the best choice."

Bella instantly felt bad, "I'm sorry. I don't have to eat here. We can go home. I…" she was silenced by Carlisle pressing his index finger against her lips.

"Shh shh shh. Bella I wanted to take you out. You never get to go anywhere other than the occasional trip to the mall with Alice. This was _my_ choice."

Bella nodded her understanding; then kissed the finger that still rested against her lips. Carlisle closed his eyes savoring the warmth of her mouth on his single digit.

The Carlisle lifted his wine glass, "A toast," Bella smiled softly and raised hers as well, "To new beginnings and endless possibilities." He said as he locked his eyes with hers.

"To new beginnings," she echoed back before clinking her glass to his.

She hummed in contentment at the taste of the wine. They quickly fell into easy conversation about the skiing trip and how Bella was amazed that she was not battered or broken.

The food arrived and Bella dug in, not comprehending until this moment how ravenous she really was. Carlisle put on a good show of cutting and appearing to eat his steak, salad and mashed potatoes. Bella had no idea where the food was going, but he was definitely clearing it from the plate.

Bella sat back in her chair at the end of the meal feeling full and satisfied and a little flushed from the two glasses of sine she consumed. Carlisle paid the check before pulling Bella's chair out and offering her his arm. She gratefully accepted it and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you for dinner Carlisle. It was wonderful."

"I'm glad you liked it, My Bella."

She felt warmth spread through her when he referred to her as his Bella.

When they arrived home a little while later, Bella was surprised that the others weren't back yet.

"Carlisle, I thought you said everyone was coming back this evening?"

"Hmmm. That was what Alice said. Maybe Emmett is having too much fun with the wildlife. It wouldn't be the first time." He said with a chuckle shaking his head.

Carlisle hung up their coats and then went over to start a fire in the living room hearth. Bella walked across the room to the window; staring out into the quickly emerging night sky.

Soft music began to play and strong arms enveloped her from behind. She squeezed his forearms as they crossed in front of her. Then she turned in his embrace and circled her arms around him in return. Carlisle leaned in and kissed her chastely and then began to sway them to the music. He took her right hand in his left and before Bella knew it, they were dancing by firelight.

The soft crooning of Michael Bublé surrounded them and the world slipped away.

'_Here we are  
On earth together  
It's you and I  
God has made us fall in love  
It's true  
I've really found  
Someone like you  
Will it stay  
The love you feel for me  
Will you say  
That you will be by my side  
To see me through  
Until my life is through'_

Bella forgot about everything except the man who was holding her in his indestructible yet gentle arms. She looked into his eyes and saw nothing but the purest of loves. She reached the hand that currently rested on his shoulder up behind his neck; letting her fingers dance among the short hairs there before clasping onto his skin.

_'You will stay here always  
In love, you and I  
You and I, you and I  
You and I, you and I'_

He knew she wanted him to lean down and he would not deny her. Their lips met as their dancing slowed to mere rocking side to side. His tongue begged her lips for entrance that she willingly gave. His cool breath should have given her the chills, but it has the opposite effect as her body flushed with heat. It seemed to radiate from the core of her being. She wanted more. More kisses, more touches, more…just more. Her nipples hardened as she pressed her body to his. She felt a tingle at the apex of her thighs begging for friction; begging for Carlisle to touch her…there.

_'You and I  
In my mind  
We can conquer the world  
In love, you and I  
You and I, you and I  
You and I.'_

Bella moaned as his mouth trailed down her neck. Carlisle never struggled with the blood lust like the rest of his family had, but with Bella's vein pulsating against his lips and her skin vibrating as she moaned; he truly understood what it meant to thirst for blood. Her pert nipples pressing against him mixed with the smell of her arousal was his undoing. He wanted her in every way.

Bella began panting as he hand drifted from her waist to the round of her butt. She gripped his hair and turned her head so that she could reach his neck. She licked and bit at the alabaster skin exposed to her. The purring began again causing her arousal to spike. She looked into his eyes and they were black! There was no gold at all. His irises were pitch black. Bella was startled and fought to push him away. Carlisle did not understand what happened but quickly released his hold on her. Once she was free she backed away until she tripped on her own feet and fell unceremoniously on her butt.

"Bella? What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" he asked frantically.

Bella struggled to get control of her voice that was locked behind the ball of fear lodged in her throat. Carlisle knelt down and reached out for her but she did not go to him. She could not get past the fear those eyes elicited.

She swallowed hard twice, "Your…your eyes…" was all she was able to get out.

Carlisle stood and caught his reflection in the glass wall to his left. He saw what Bella was so afraid of…a monster. _No!_

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. Her scent was all around him and now mixed with adrenaline making it difficult to relax and lock the monster away. He focused on thoughts of Bella from other times. Holding her as she slept, singing to her, watching movies together… Finally he could feel his body returning to a state of calm. He opened his eyes and looked at his reflection that now showed the familiar gold irises.

Bella watched Carlisle stand there with his eyes closed; completely still. _Should I run? What was the point? He is a vampire. He would catch me once the thought made its way through his brain. Wait. This isn't just any vampire. This is Carlisle. My Carlisle. He would never hurt me._ She remained on the floor so as to not startle him and began to take deep breaths to settle her nerves. She glanced up to see him looking down at her with an expression of utter anguish. It broke her heart to know she had caused him that pain.

Bella quickly stood up and went to him. Without hesitation she threw herself into his arms.

"Carlisle, what happened? Your eyes turned black and I was so afraid. I didn't know what to do."

He held her close; thankful that she would allow him to touch her. He stroked her back up and down trying to sooth her and himself.

"Bella, I am so sorry. I let things get out of hand and forgot myself for a moment. I swear you were never in any danger."

Even as he said the words, he heard the lie within them. What he should have said was that he would have never intentionally hurt her. His very nature put her in danger. He shook that thought away. It had no place here. Not now.

Bella had to bring him back to her. She leaned back to look into his soulful topaz eyes. She went up on her tip toes and kissed him softly. He returned the kiss sighing in relief that he had not done any irreparable damage. Just then the door opened signaling the end to their alone time.

~AVitD~

The early morning sun warmed her face and alerted Bella to the start of a brand new day. She didn't want to open her eyes. She was having the most magnificent dream of her and Carlisle kissing in the snow. Then she felt cold lips drop tiny kisses along her neck and shoulder and she smiled because it wasn't just a dream.

She rolled over to be greeted by a smiling and sparkling Carlisle.

"Good morning beautiful. Sleep well?"

She nodded, "Mmm hmm. I had the best dream and woke up to an even better reality."

Carlisle saw the light reflecting off of his skin onto hers and for a moment thought about what she would look like if she were changed. His smile grew before he leaned in and kissed her on the lips causing her to moan loudly. Alice was at their door knocking.

"Hey you two; none of that this morning. We have guests to send off." She called through to them.

Bella blushed and ducked her head into Carlisle's chest.

"Ugh! That super-human hearing is for the birds." She grumbled in frustration.

Carlisle didn't say anything but he could hear some of the others laughing from the living room. Bella got up and made her way to the washroom to take a shower and get dressed for the day.

When she was ready, she and Carlisle made their way to the living room where everyone had gathered to say goodbye to the Denali's. Their visit was not uneventful to say the least.

Carlisle hugged his dear friend and wished him a safe journey home. Carmen stepped forward and opened her arms to Bella who happily returned the gesture.

"Beautiful Bella," she cooed, "It was wonderful to meet you."

"Likewise Carmen. I have had a really nice time." Bella replied.

Carmen held her closer and whispered, "You have given him his heart back. Don't ever doubt his feelings for you."

Bella nodded and squeezed the vampire that reminded her so much of Esme in her nature, as hard as she could.

"Thank you Carmen."

Carmen went to embrace Carlisle as Eleazar was next to offer Bella a hug, "My dearest Bella, I thoroughly enjoyed are time together. Maybe next time you will come visit us in Alaska."

Bella smiled at him as he released her, "I would like that. Thank you Eleazar." She tried not to think about the sisters and how they would feel about her being in their home.

Carlisle was at Bella's side and stretched his arm around her; hissing her temple. Kate walked up to say her goodbyes, but Carlisle showed no indication of releasing Bella from his hold.

"Kate," he said in an even voice, "it was nice to see you again. I wish you a safe journey home."

Kate nodded. She knew that she would not get anything more from him at this time. But she was a vampire. She could be patient. She looked at Bella for a brief moment and then returned her gaze to Carlisle.

"Thank you for having me, Carlisle. Hopefully it won't be so long between out visits next time."

Kate's words were non-threatening, but her body exuded sexual innuendo. Bella shrank slightly away, but Carlisle would not allow her to duck back. He held her lovingly but firm and pulled her in front of his body to wrap both arms around her.

"Be well." He said in return.

"Bella." she said with a slight nod.

"Ka-te." Bella stumbled over her name.

Kate gave her a wicked smirk then turned towards the door where the others waited. Lots of hugs were given with promises of seeing one and other soon.

With that, they were gone along with Jasper who was driving them to the airport. Emmett was feeling antsy now that all the excitement was over. He had energy to burn.

"Hey Carlisle, want to come help me with my wood working project?" he asked.

Carlisle hugged Bella tighter before releasing her. "Do you mind hanging with the girls for a while?"

"Not at all. I need to catch up on my girl time."

He leaned down and kissed her sweet lips.

Emmett was already waiting by the back door, "Get a room you two!"

Bella blushed giving Emmett the exact reaction he was hoping for.

"Have fun my Bella." He kissed her on the tip of her nose before chasing after Emmett.

Her blushed deepened as she giggled, "You too!"

A/N Song "You and I" sung by Michael Bublé


	15. Chapter 15

A big thank you to my pre-reader marissa0827. And big sloppy kisses to my beta, Simaril. You rock my stripy socks off.

A big thank you to everyone who reviews, rec's, tweets, facebooks or loves this story quietly. You all humble me by your compliments. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

**Chapter 15~ Loving a Vampire 101**

Alice was hopping up and down in excitement. Bella and Rosalie both looked at her as if she had completely lost it. Bella turned to her blond sister.

"Do they make Ritalin for vampires?"

"If only," Rosalie quipped back.

"Oh shut up you two!" Alice huffed, but then quickly flipped back to her happy, jovial self, "Come on Bella, I want to hear all about last night."

"Oh! Me too!" Rosalie added as the two of them pulled Bella down to Alice's room.

Alice opened the door and jumped on the bed; bouncing in anticipation. Bella sat down kitty corner from Alice. It was ironic for as close as they were, their styles could not have been more opposite. Alice always looked the epitome of runway fashion where Bella's style could best be described as comfy casual. Alice's outfit put Bella's yoga pants, wife beater and hoodie to shame, but she could care less. She felt relaxed which was the whole point. Rosalie sat by Bella's feet and smiled sweetly.

"New color?" she asked.

Bella sighed and rolled her eyes, "Alright, but nothing too bright."

"Oh! I know just the right color." Alice chirped and then leapt off the bed to grab a bottle of nail polish from her supplies, "Here Rose."

She handed the bottle of 'espresso' nail polish to her. Bella slipped her ankle socks off and Rosalie gathered her feet and sat them on her lap.

"Okay Bella, spill. I need details cause the crystal ball here was all cryptic and only said it was a good day. And Ali, quit bouncing. You are making it impossible to paint her nails."

"Sorry Rose. Bella, start with the skiing. Did you like your new jacket?"

Bella pointed a finger at the pixie, "I figured you had something to do with that." She smiled to let her know she wasn't really upset, "I loved it, thanks Ali." She took a deep breath before starting her story, "Well Carlisle took us to some desolate hill and taught me to ski. I did really good until I got cocky and tried going a little faster and ended up sprawled at the bottom of the hill."

"What did Carlisle do? Did he try to wrap you in a full body cast?" Rosalie asked between toes, "He is so overprotective."

Bella nodded in agreement, "He is, but it is sweet." She bit her lip as her mind wandered to her blond Adonis outside.

Rosalie's voice pulled her back to the present, "Oh God. He didn't growl at the skis did he?"

All three of them cracked up at that one. Then Bella stopped when she thought back on Carlisle's eyes changing color.

"Hey, can I ask you two something?"

"Sure."

"Shoot."

Bella thought over how she wanted to ask this. She cleared her throat, "So, last night we were dancing and kissing, before you guys came home, and something happened and Carlisle's eyes turned black. I don't mean a dark gold like when he hasn't hunted. I mean black-black. It kinda freaked me out a little."

Rosalie, having finished with the nail polish, set it on the table by the bed before turning a sympathetic smile towards Bella.

"It doesn't happen often, but it can happen where one of us lets our baser nature emerge. What you saw was truly Carlisle's worst fear. You saw his inner vampire."

"It is the thing we fight the hardest living the way we do." Alice added. "Do you remember Jasper's eyes when he lunged at you during your party?"

Bella thought back to that fateful night and replayed the scene in her head until she gasped bringing both hands to her mouth; nodding her head.

"His eyes were black like Carlisle's." she whispered.

Rosalie and Alice nodded in sync.

"That's why Carlisle said I could not stay with all of you permanently if I chose to remain human."

It wasn't a question as much as it was a statement of fact, but Alice and Rosalie nodded their acknowledgement. Silence fell over them as Bella absorbed this new information. Alice was uncharacteristically still. After about three minutes Bella found her voice.

"Does this mean we can't kiss anymore?" her voice was small and unsure.

The two vampires looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"What?" Bella asked perplexed.

"He could have had a Bella-tini last night and you are more worried about not being able to kiss him? Edward was right; you really have _no_ sense of self-preservation." Alice said before she rejoined Rosalie in her laughter.

Bella sat befuddled as she watched the two of them fall over themselves laughing at her.

"So, does that mean that I _can_ kiss him?" she asked.

This brought on a whole new bout of laughter. Rosalie was the first to get control when she saw the confused and slightly hurt look on her face.

"Oh sweetie, you can absolutely keep kissing Carlisle. In fact, you can do so much more." She said as she waggled her eyebrows. She has spent entirely too many years with Emmett.

Alice and Rosalie exchanged a knowing look and began the educating of Bella on the subject of Loving a Vampire 101.

~AVitD~

Emmett and Carlisle were working at stripping the fallen trees and cutting them into planks. Carlisle shook his head at the number of trees that were down.

"Emmett, I don't understand son. What were you thinking?"

Emmett stopped working; saw dust and needles were in his hair and clothing. He looked around remembering his emotions from that day. He sighed heavily.

"I just didn't want her to leave. I mean…I have always thought of her as family, even back when it was her and Edward." He stopped short and looked at Carlisle, "Sorry…I mean…you know…"

Carlisle put his hand up to stop him, "I know what you mean, son. I understand. Just go on."

Emmett took a deep breath then began again, "I was just so angry that everything seemed to be going wrong. We worked so hard to bring her back, and then for her to leave was just too much to deal with." His face went from thoughtful concentration to youthful optimism, "But now she is back and you guys are together so all is well."

Emmett quickly went back to work. Carlisle made his way over to him and rested his hand on Emmett's arm stopping the sawing motion he had resumed.

"Emmett, I don't want you to get your hopes too high yet. Bella may be here with us now, but there are no guarantees for the future. She has not said that she wants to be one of us. She still has the option to remain human if she so chooses. In which case you may very well have to deal with those same emotions again; in the near or distant future."

It hurt Carlisle to no end to have to voice the possibility of that reality. He didn't believe that he could survive losing Bella. She was his mate. He knew it with every fiber of his being.

"Do you think she would still choose that?" Emmett asked crestfallen.

Carlisle placed a reassuring hand on his immense shoulder and squeezed. "It is my most heartfelt prayer that she will decide to stay with us forever as a vampire, but it is ultimately her choice to make."

Emmett stood still for the longest moment. Carlisle mirrored his inaction until a bright smile stretched across the larger vampire's face.

"Well then, we will just need to convince her that she belongs with us _as_ one of us."

He quickly returned to the task at hand. Carlisle wanted to tell him to let Bella make the decision on her own, but deep down inside he hoped that Emmett would succeed. He returned to his own work and they continued in silence until Jasper parked the Mercedes and came out to join them.

"Did you guys do something wrong that the girls kicked you out of the house?" he joked.

Carlisle stopped his work to see his southern born son in front of him.

"Jasper," he said with a smile. "Did Eleazar and the girls get off okay?"

"They were right on time for their flight."

"Thank you for taking them."

Emmett piped up, "Hey what was going on with Kate? Was she seriously trying to get her freak on with you, Carlisle?"

Carlisle cringed at the memories of Kate's blatent attempts to get his attention.

"Yes, Emmett, she was, as you so eloquently put it, trying to get her 'freak on' with me."

Emmett laughed and fist bumped the air, "Pay up pretty boy."

Jasper reached in his back pocket and took a fifty from his wallet; handing over to the lumber jack in front of him.

Carlisle looked between his two sons, "What is that all about?"

Jasper ran his hand through his hair, something that was apparently a common trait amongst the Cullen men, "Emmett bet me fifty bucks that he could get you to say 'freak on'. I bet against him and just lost."

Carlisle just shook his head before grabbing another tree to start on.

"So," Jasper clapped his hands and rubbed them back and forth, "what are you two up to here?"

"Emmett decided that the woods needed a little thinning so he took it upon himself to clear out some of nature's finest gifts."

Emmett hung his head; knowing that taking his emotions out on the forest was not his proudest moment.

Carlisle continued on, "But he has come up with an idea on how to not let it all go to waste."

Carlisle and Emmett explained the plans to Jasper and he quickly volunteered to do the intricate scroll work on several of the thinner trunks and thicker branches. The men worked well into the afternoon and even though the sun had set, it did not deter them from finishing. The fact that it snowed around them did not slow their progress one bit. What would have taken several human men weeks to create from scratch and finish, took them half of a day. They stood back admiring their handy work.

"It is very impressive sons; very impressive in deed." Carlisle complimented them as he clapped them both on the back. "Now, let's get back to our women."

He smiled at the thought that Bella was his. And even if he might only have her for the next sixty years, he would cherish every minute. Because a day with Bella was worth ten eternities without her.

The three of them hauled the tools back to the loft over the garage and headed inside to their respective rooms to shower and clean up. Carlisle knew exactly where Bella was when he stepped in the house. Her beautiful heartbeat rang down from the family room.

He made his way to his and Bella's room and stripped out of his dirty clothes after grabbing a clean set and went straight to the shower. The water temperature made no difference to a vampire, but Carlisle enjoyed the way the scalding hot water warmed his skin; even if it was only momentarily. Once his hair and body were free of the day's residue, he shut off the shower and dried off quickly. Being impermeable had its advantages as the majority of the water rolled right off of his chiseled body. He towel dried his hair and ran his hand through it a few times allowing it to fall where it may. He had noticed that Bella seemed more apt to touch it when it wasn't combed back in place like he used to wear it. It also gave him a more youthful appearance this way.

He took the stairs three at a time unable to keep himself away from Bella a moment longer than necessary. He cleared the final step and found the girls right where he had expected. Alice and Rosalie sat on the sectional across from the flat screen and Bella sat on the floor at Alice's feet. Alice was weaving an intricate braid out of a section of Bella's hair so that it appeared to be a wreath upon the top of her head when it was complete. The rest of her hair hung loose and flowed in chestnut waves down her back. She looked like a woodland nymph.

He greeted them with a cheerful, "Ladies," before lying down in front of the couch with his head resting on Bella's lap and his eyes trained on her, "Hello beautiful."

Bella blushed and smiled down at the man who held her heart. He was perfection and all hers.

"Hello handsome. Where have you been hiding all day?" she asked as her hand automatically raked through his silken hair.

His eyes closed as he took in the gentleness of her touch. He then remembered she had asked him a question. Opening his eyes to look up at her, he responded.

"Just doing a little wood working with the boys." He said nonchalantly.

"Can I see?" she questioned him excitedly. Her hand stopped moving much to Carlisle's disappointment.

"Tomorrow sweetheart. It is dark out. You won't be able to get the full effect until daylight."

Bella's lip jutted out in a pout but then tucked back in. "Oh alright. I guess I can wait a few more hours."

Her hand restarted its former pattern; starting from his hairline going across the top of his head and then drifting off at the back curve just to restart at his forehead once more. The feeling lulled him to a state of quiet comfort and he let his eyes drift shut. She studied his body; took in all that was Carlisle.

His hair was like the finest silk. It felt smooth and cool against the palm of her hand. Her eyes scanned down to his face; perfect with strong angles that still held a sense of softness. It was as if God had taken all that was beautiful in this world and used it to construct his face. His neck was long and pale and his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed. She had visions of running her tongue over that protrusion.

He was wearing a basic navy colored golf shirt with the collar open allowing her to see the small patch of soft golden hair. His arms were muscular but not too much so. He looked strong and virile. She loved being wrapped in those arms. She had never seen him without a shirt on, but she could only imagine that he was well defined there as well. His legs were strong and the jeans that he wore hung on him just the right way. Even his feet were perfect. He wasn't wearing any socks so she was able to gawk at them a tad bit longer.

The entire time she stroked him with her eyes she kept combing through his hair with her fingers allowing her nails to scrape against his scalp. She bit her lip and let her other hand trail to the patch of hair she had just discovered. Carlisle was in his own personal heaven as she played with the soft hair upon his chest. Soon he began to purr eliciting a giggle from Bella.

He opened his eyes and quirked an eyebrow as if to ask 'what?'

"I just love that sound."

"As I just love you," he replied back.

Carlisle looked around to see that the girls had left the room; giving them an illusion of privacy. Bella knew Alice and Rosalie had left a minute earlier. They wanted to give her a chance to try and work her new skills with Carlisle.

He was in an awkward angle because he was too close for her to lean down to kiss him so she had to improvise. She crooked her finger to him.

"Come close. I want to tell you a secret." She whispered to him.

Carlisle's curiosity was piqued. He leaned up on his elbows to bring himself closer. Bella leaned in so her lips were less than an inch from the shell of his ear. She breathed out softly letting the warm moist air tickle his ear.

"I missed you today." She said softly as her tongue poked out and licked the outer edge of his ear lobe.

Carlisle shivered at the raw sexuality in her voice. His cock sprung to life pressing against the denim which held it enclosed. He turned over quickly to hide his not so secret desires. He was on all fours in front of her. He searched her eyes for any sign of hesitation, but there was none to be found. He leaned in and placed a whisper of a kiss against her soft lips. His cool breath coated her wet lips and sent a rush of lust directly to her girlie parts. Carlisle smelled her arousal grow stronger and it gave him the deepest amount of satisfaction to know it was him doing this to her.

He crawled closer to her body so that he was on his knees in front of her crossed legs while his hands pressed into the couch on the outside of her shoulders. Bella reached forward and let her hands drift across the expanse of his firm chest. She was right. He was exceptionally well defined as she could feel the defined edges of the muscles under his shirt. His lips played on hers. Kissing and pecking at the corner of her mouth before returning for full contact. He licked the seam between her upper and lower lips requesting access. A request which she eagerly granted. His tongue gently stroked and caressed hers inside her mouth. Her breath felt hot compared to his and he relished the feeling of it on his mouth.

Bella remembered what the girls had told her earlier and she reached under his shirt letting her hands tenderly touch the skin of his back. The sensation was too little and too much all at once. He reached one hand around her back and swept his fingers back and forth over her lower back where her shirt had raised up to expose her skin. She moaned and uncrossed her legs to pull him closer. He complied and moved forward so that he straddled her right leg.

His upper leg was a breath away from her sex. Bella needed the contact and forgot herself as she rubbed up against his sculpted thigh. The heat coming off her body was incredible and mixed with the scent of her juices was sending Carlisle into a tailspin. He felt the monster in him attempt to break free of the carefully constructed prison he was kept in. Carlisle wanted to bury his face in the crook of her neck and breathe in the undiluted smell that was pure Bella; strawberries and freesia with a hint of fire. But he didn't trust himself enough to do so. He was panting as the monster rattled its cage. He kept his eyes shut; worried that they were once again the sinister color that had frightened Bella. He stopped kissing her and rested his head against hers.

She felt the tension in his body when he stopped breathing, and she knew that he was struggling. She cursed herself for pushing him too far before he had gone hunting. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; tasting him on her tongue. She had to battle to keep herself from pushing him further. The outcome could be bad for both of them. She thought about what Alice had told her so she kept her body still and relaxed. Her hands rested against his rib cage; letting him know that she was not afraid.

Carlisle refused to open his eyes. His mind swirled with thoughts of her body and her blood; him penetrating her body as he stole her liquid gold directly from the source. _No!_ He berated himself mentally. _This is My Bella. Mine. Fragile. Delicate. Porcelain. Breakable. Mortal. Beautiful. Intelligent. Magnificent. Mine._ His mind went through these words over and over till he heard his goddess speak.

"Carlisle, I love you. I am right here and I love you."

His breathing began again slowly as her words coiled around his cold, dead heart. _She loves me_.

"I want you to go hunt and then come home to me. I will be here waiting. I will always wait for you."

He nodded his head but still refused to open his eyes.

"I love you My Bella. My heart. My love." He said before placing a single kiss on her forehead. Then he was gone.

Bella heard the door open downstairs half a second later and knew that he was doing what she asked. She took a deep breath and went to stand up. Her knees were weak and her body felt like lead. She flopped on the couch as Alice and Rosalie reappeared from wherever they had been.

"Hey sweetie, you okay?" Rosalie asked as she pushed Bella's hair back over her shoulder.

Bella nodded, "Yeah. I just…I wish…shit! I don't know."

She leaned forward throwing her face into her hands. Alice looked to Rosalie and then back down to Bella. Maybe today's lesson wasn't such a good idea after all.

Carlisle ran out of the house in search of the first warm creature with a beating heart that he could find. He felt Jasper and Emmett on his flanks but at a safe distance. He was grateful for their hands off accompaniment. He wasn't in his right mind now and didn't want to hurt them by accident.

Pulling away from Bella to hunt took what was left of his resolve. He headed deeper and deeper into the woods until he came upon the familiar cliff and he jumped. It was exhilarating to free fall for the few seconds it took him to reach the ground below. He was surprised the guys followed him off the cliff but they were still there behind him.

That was when he heard it; the steady thumping of a strong heart. It was in the trees just ahead of him. He wasted no time settling himself. He lunged into a nearby tree then threw himself at the startled mountain lion causing them both to plummet to the ground tangled in each other's clutches.

The wild cat scratched and hissed as it tried to fight off the obviously superior predator. Carlisle relished in the strength this animal exerted to defend its life, but in the end, its efforts were futile. As the cat tried to bite through the skin of his arm, Carlisle took his own bite into its exposed jugular. The great cat let out a strangled cry that quickly fell away as Carlisle drank from him. He held the dying animal in his arms till its heart stopped and it was rendered dry.

Jasper and Emmett stood back and watched the scene before them with stunned silence. Carlisle never fed like this before. He was always measured and precise. To their knowledge, he had never even ruined a shirt while feeding. Yet there he sat in the muddied show; his shirt and pants shredded beyond repair.

When Carlisle finished he looked down at himself and dropped the carcass as he backed away.

"What is wrong with me? I have lived this life for over three hundred and fifty years and nothing or no one has ever impacted me this way." He asked himself.

Jasper approached him slowly and sat down next to him on the forest floor.

"Carlisle, you are being entirely too hard on yourself. I have felt your emotions when you two are together. Your love is immense. Your hunger is peaked by your desire for her."

"I know this!" he snapped back, very un-Carlisle-like, "I have been around humans and blood for the better part of my three hundred years. Why _now_ is it such an issue?"

He grabbed his hair with both hands and pulled hard in frustration.

"Because you have never loved a human the way you love Bella." Jasper explained, "The combination of such intense emotions combined with our natural thirst is testing you in a way that you are not used to."

Carlisle looked up at his sensitive son. "So what are you saying? That I am going to freak out every time we are in any way intimate?"

Emmett had come around the other said sitting next to Carlisle as well. He was uncharacteristically quiet.

Jasper shook his head, "No. You just need to feed more often to keep your thirst at bay. It is the combination of desires that is causing this. You control one and the other will not be so overwhelming."

Carlisle sat and thought about what Jasper had said for a while. "But what if I don't control it next time? What if I hurt her next time?"

"You won't. Because above all those other emotions and even more than your love for her is your urge to protect her. I believe that you would sacrifice anything to keep her safe."

Jasper's words were like salve on his weary soul. He looked over and saw the concern on Emmett's face. He reached over and patted his shoulder in reassurance. Emmett smiled in return.

"What do you say boys? One more quick hunt before we head back?" Carlisle asked as he allowed himself to be hopeful that Jasper was right.

Jasper and Emmett nodded as Emmett jumped to his feet. "I could go for a quick bite to eat."

Jasper and Carlisle groaned at the joke that they had heard at least a thousand times over the last eighty-some years.

Carlisle took the time to bury the lion and say his prayer of thanks. He added an extra prayer of attrition for allowing the lion to suffer before his death. With that the three men were off in search of their next prey.

~AVitD~

Just before midnight they cleared the woods that faced the back of the house. They were sated from the herd of deer they had come across. Carlisle looked towards the window to his room when he saw a flicker of light that he quickly recognized as being from a candle. He smiled to himself and ran to the house.

He went to the washroom off of the library and found a pile of clothes on the counter and called out a thank you to Alice. He stripped off what was left of his outfit and jumped into the shower. This was most definitely the biggest mess he had made on a hunt in centuries. He quickly cleaned up and got out to discover the clothes Alice had left him were a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt. He laughed at the irony. He was most likely the only vampire who would wear such attire since their kind did not sleep.

He headed down to his room saying a goodnight to Rosalie and Emmett as they lounged in the living room. He tossed out his decimated clothing and then opened the door to his and Bella's room. The sight before him made him stop and take notice. Bella was lying with her back to the door staring at the candle as its reflection danced against the glass. She was wearing a sleep set that was comprised of a dark brown camisole with matching capris. The richness of the color looked beautiful against her skin. Her hair, now free from the braid lay down her back like a veil of silk. The faint sounds of Lifehouse were coming from the iHome she had next to the bed. The lyrics were sad yet hopeful and he had recalled her listening to this song before when she would be introspective.

Carlisle made his way across the room and climbed on the bed behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist. Bella did not give the impression that she surprised to see him there. She hummed in contentment when he nuzzled into the hair by her neck.

"Welcome home," she said softly as she turned to face him.

Her hand went up to caress his cheek. Carlisle leaned into her touch and closed his eyes in quiet contemplation.

"My home is wherever you are."

"Ditto." Was her response.

He opened his eyes to see her staring at him with the most loving of gazes. He could get lost in her chocolate pools for years.

"I missed you." Bella whispered.

"And I you. I am sorry about…" he attempted to apologize for nearly losing control again, but Bella stopped him.

"There is nothing to apologize for. Alice and Rosalie explained it all to me earlier today. I am sorry if I pushed you too far."

He shook his head as he looped his finger around the delicate curve of her ear to set the stray hair there in place.

"You did nothing wrong, sweetheart." He looked her straight in the eye so she would see the truth in his words. "I just need to hunt more often now that our relationship has changed."

She traced a finger along his cheekbone observing the color of his eyes and the lightening of the shadows beneath them. "You had a good hunt tonight?"

He smiled and nodded. "I did."

He leaned in and kissed her reverently as her hand drifted to get lost in his still damp blond locks. He went on placing gentle kisses on her chin, cheeks and nose. Both eyes received similar affections before he placed a slow kiss on her forehead. The candlelight flickering caught his attention.

"May I ask, why you are burning a candle?" he asked her.

She turned to look at the white tapper, "I had read once that it is something a person does when they are waiting for a loved one to return from a journey." She blushed slightly before she forced her eyes back to his, "I just wanted you to know that I was waiting for you."

Carlisle was overwhelmed by the flood of emotions that rushed through him. He never thought he would be lucky enough to find love again and yet, here in his arms lay a woman who loved him without constraints.

"I am truly the luckiest man to ever walk this earth." His voice nearly shook with the weight of his feelings.

Bella leaned up to bring their lips back together. Soft, tender kisses were exchanged before Carlisle ended the connection to speak.

"I promise I will always do whatever it takes to keep you safe." He vowed to her.

A cold chill ran down Bella's spine as she remembered Edward saying something eerily similar.

"Just promise me that you'll never leave me. Even if it is for my protection." She insisted.

Carlisle saw the unadulterated fear in her eyes; understanding how she may have misconstrued his oath.

"Never My Bella. I promised you when we left Forks that I would never leave you again. _I will never leave you no matter what_." He said each word clearly as he looked her directly in the eyes. "I swear on all that I am and all that I have that I will always be wherever you are. This existence is nothing more than that without you."

Bella let go of the breath she was holding and gave a slow nod accepting his word as the truth. He pressed his lips to her and she melted into his embrace.

Their kisses increased in intensity but only to a low burn. Their hands explored gently the other's face and upper body. Carlisle let his hands graze down her ribs but never made any attempt to push things further. It was sweet and romantic. Their languorous ministrations continued as the candle burned down.

A/N

So, any guesses what Lifehouse song Bella was listening to when Carlisle came home?


	16. Chapter 16

A/N

A big thank you to my pre-reader marissa0827. I'm sending big sloppy kisses to my beta, Simaril and my SFAM, jesspace. You three are the most amazing cheerleaders a beeotch like me could ask for. Thank you for supporting this story and the decisions I make in regards to it.

A quick rec…please check out Compulsions by MissKingAtYourService on The Writers Coffee Shop.

Summary:

When Carlisle goes to confront his wife about cheating on him in a rather peculiar place, he never expects to find the alluring, yet innocent Bella Swan. She agreed to attend a certain party to shut her friends up, but she definitely never expected to find Carlisle.

Fate seems to have thrown these two together. Will one explosive night of sex be enough or will destiny bring them closer? Can a relationship develop among the shambles of both of their lives? OOC, AH.

And now…on with the show.

**Chapter 16~ Yes**

"Mmmm, Carlisle whatever you are doing…don't stop." Bella moaned in pleasure as Carlisle dropped wet kisses along the inside of her wrists before blowing a soft cool breath against her wet skin.

The combined sensation was causing her to writhe with need. He loved to see how the different things he did would affect her. They had been experimenting a lot more lately. It had been three weeks since his last battle with control and Carlisle finally felt confident in pushing their limits. He wanted nothing more than to ravish her and pleasure her in more ways than were in the Kama Sutra, but he did not want to push her. She had awkwardly admitted to him that she was still a virgin, though he had suspected. He hoped the day would come that she would willingly give him that wonderful gift, but until then…

Carlisle began to drag Bella's sweater up her abdomen exposing her flat tummy. He drew intricate designs along her exposed skin with his tongue. The skin tightened and erupted in goose bumps following the trail he had just blazed. Bella clutched the duvet in both hands to keep from moving too much. She knew his teeth could be a major mood killer.

He slowly pushed her sweater higher but waited for Bella to look at him and give him the okay to proceed. Bella unclenched her eyes once his tongue assault had stopped. She saw the question in his gaze and sat up; ripping her sweater above her head then laying back down. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders, tickling the tops of her perfect breasts. She wore a berry colored bra that complimented them like a frame on a work of art.

Carlisle's breath caught in his lungs for a moment as he studied the round orbs in front of him. It didn't matter that he had seen them in black, white, hunter green, light and dark blue, pink, yellow and his personal favorite plum, he just loved seeing them. Bella giggled at the way he appeared to be hypnotized by her boobs. The sound brought his attention back up to her, and she smiled as she opened her arms beckoning him closer.

Carlisle stretched his body out next to Bella's as his right leg hitched over hers. Their lips met as his hand found purchase on her breast. They moaned in unison when his cold touch caused her nipple to harden through the satin and lace.

Bella ran her hands up his bare arms till she hit the bottom of the short sleeves of his shirt. She let her fingers skim under the material dancing over his skin. Everywhere he felt her touch set off tiny fires under the surface. It was so incredible; he never wanted it to end. But it did end and Carlisle couldn't find it in him to complain because her fingers were now locked in his hair. She scratched and pulled on his silken locks as their lips met over and over. She tasted sweet on his tongue which made him want to taste more of her. And then, as if she could hear his mental wish, Bella released her hold on his tresses and brought her hands down to the valley between her voluptuous mounds. With a flick of her thumb and forefinger the clasp snapped open and her breasts were released into the world.

This time Carlisle stopped breathing all together. If he could cry at their beauty, he would have. He sat back on his haunches stunned, staring. Bella carefully reached for his hands and placed them on each of her breasts covering them with her own. The warmth of her chest and hands encased him, and he closed his eyes to focus solely on the incredible heat.

Her nipples peaked against his ice cold palms, and he reactively squeezed them causing Bella to arch her back and moan in delight. His eyes darted up to her face to make sure he had not hurt her. He couldn't stop the smirk that graced his lips when he saw that she was getting as much pleasure out of this as he was. She was so soft under his powerful hands. He loved the feel of her heart beating against the tips of his fingers. The rhythm was strong and determined. He contracted his fingers around her warm flesh then released his grip watching the color pale for a moment then flush in a corresponding pattern.

Without realizing it he had leaned in closer. Bella's hands were now at the back of his head encouraging him until he was face to areola with her right breast; his left hand refused to lose the contact it had so close to her heart. Her scent was different here. More intense. More Bella. He gingerly pressed a kiss against the taunt skin, and as he pulled back, he slipped his tongue out from between his lips to lick it; pulling another moan from deep within Bella.

"Oh my…more. Please Carlisle more." She whimpered as her body hummed with need.

He dipped his head back down and laved around the rose colored flesh before moving his head side to side causing his lips to rub over the stiff peak. Bella's heart rate and respiration picked up as he switched to her other breast. His hand teased the right nipple rolling it between his thumb and index finger. He licked and kissed her other breast in an identical pattern as he had the first.

Her sounds and scent had him painfully erect and he thrust forward into her thigh; seeking out some form of friction. Bella did not even notice. She was lost in an ocean of sensations.

Carlisle continued relentlessly. He could not get enough. He wanted her in his mouth so desperately. He tried to hold back, but couldn't deny his desire. He wrapped his lips over his teeth and opened up to carefully engulf her heated flesh. He tasted the slight glaze of sweat that coated her skin giving it a salty taste. He suckled gently while running his tongue over and around her nipple. Then as he rolled and pinched the other peak in his hand, Bella screamed out his name.

"Carlisle!"

He jumped off the bed and nearly to the opposite wall in fear that he had caught her with a tooth. He was back by her side a split second later looking her over. There was no sign of injury nor could he smell any blood in the air. Bella lay shaking slightly on the bed. Her arms stretched out from her body as her heart beat and breathing began to return to normal. The rigidity left her body and she opened her eyes with a lazy grin playing on swollen lips. That was when Carlisle realized he had just brought Bella to climax. She shivered as her flushed skin rose with goose bumps. He quickly grabbed the blanket from the end of the bed and draped it over her. He lay down next to her and she turned to cuddle into his side.

Carlisle kissed the top of her head; his own need forgotten as he relished in what he had just given her. His name was a breath of a whisper on her lips before she slipped into unconsciousness.

~AVitD~

Bella woke up a few hours later, not realizing that she had even drifted off. Her leg was securely hitched over Carlisle's manhood and just as she was about to reach for it to give him a little release there was a knock on the door.

Carlisle groaned, "Go away Alice."

But since Alice never listened to anyone, she cracked open the door. Bella scrambled to make sure she was sufficiently covered before Alice popped her head in.

"Sorry guys, but it is time to trim the tree. I didn't want you two to miss it." She added with a smile.

Carlisle nodded in resignation, "We'll be right there, Alice. Give us a moment please."

"Okay." She chirped, and with that she was gone.

"If a moment is all we have, there's no time to waste." Bella said as she cupped his hardened length through his pants.

Carlisle moaned and thrust up into her warm grasp but then placed his hand over hers to move it away. He had yet to allow Bella to pleasure him like this and it didn't look like now was going to be any different. Bella looked at him confused and a bit hurt by his rejection.

"Not now, sweetheart. The family is waiting for us." He explained as he began to sit up, adjusting himself as best he could.

He smiled at Bella's pout, "Now, now. None of that. If I could lock you away and keep you to myself for months on end, I would. But they all want to spend time with you too and Christmas has always been a special time for the family."

He leaned in and kissed her pouty lip to make her smile. Their kisses became heated as Bella pulled him down over top of her. Her hands wrapped around his cold neck as he made a trail of kisses down her neck and nearly to her…

"If you aren't coming out, then we are coming in!" Emmett called from outside of the door.

Bella and Carlisle huffed as he rested his forehead against hers chest.

"We're coming," they called out together.

"I sure hope not!" Emmett retorted.

"Ugh," Bella groaned, "Go away Emmett!"

She heard a loud guffaw and then nothing.

"Come on. They are obviously not going to leave us alone." She sighed in resignation.

"You know them too well, My Bella."

Carlisle kissed her on the forehead and helped her out of bed. She kept the sheet around her since she was still topless and grabbed her bra and sweater before heading to the wash room. Carlisle waited for her to be ready before they walked into the living room hand in hand.

Bella stopped short when she saw the massive blue spruce that stood in the living room. It was so tall it nearly touched the peak of the cathedral ceiling. The furniture in the back corner of the room had been moved to allow for the large girth of the tree. Jasper was on the edge of the half wall of the upstairs family room stringing lights around the top section while Emmett was on a ladder in the living room on the opposite side of the tree doing the same. Alice and Rosalie worked in tandem to string the bottom section.

Emmett smiled down at Bella as she was still slack jawed in her astonishment. "So, B. What do you think of the tree?" he asked in a classic Yogi Bear voice.

She shook off the initial shock, "Does New York City know you stole this out of Rockefeller Center?"

Everyone laughed including Carlisle who let go of her hand wrapping his arm around her waist. He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head as he breathed in her intoxicating scent. Bella circled her arm around Carlisle and rested her hand on his hip.

Alice bounced over to them, "Come on you two, we have boxes of ornaments to put up."

Bella looked over to where Alice had gestured and thought she was seeing things. There were at least fifteen boxes of decorations stacked up by the glass wall.

"Oh my God! Those are all going to go up on the tree?" she asked as she continued to stare at the wall of boxes.

"Yep." Alice responded popping her 'p'. "So let's get started."

She pulled Bella over to the first three boxes that were filled with beautiful ornate balls and prism shaped ornaments. They were as big as Bella's head. She was surprised at how light weight they were. She began hanging them where she could reach as Alice ran up the stars to the family room to hang some higher. Rosalie had vanished from the room but before Bella could ask her where she was going, the room filled with the sounds of Bing Crosby singing Christmas carols and she floated back in with a tray of Christmas cookies and a mug of cocoa for Bella.

"I hope they turned out okay. Emmett and I have never attempted to make cookies before." She said with a shy smile.

Bella took one and took a huge bite. She closed her eyes and hummed in appreciation as the cookie practically melted in her mouth.

"Oh mah Gawd! These are so good!" she said as she took another bite.

Rosalie smiled and Emmett winked at her from his perch on the ladder. Bella finished her cookie as she watched Alice throw ornaments at Emmett to hang on his section of the tree. Bella laughed. It reminded her of something you might see at a Ringling Brothers show. Rosalie joined in on the fun by tossing ornaments at Jasper as he still teetered on the edge of the wall. Normally a scene like this would have freaked her out, but she had become very accustomed to their antics over the last couple of months.

Carlisle came up from behind her and wrapped his arms around her midsection as he placed a kiss on her neck. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." She whispered back.

Jasper felt the adoration radiate off of them and smiled. Bella caught him watching them and smiled as he winked at her. The love in the room enveloped everyone. It was a perfect moment of comfort and family unity.

Carlisle pulled out a couple more boxes out and Bella helped him hang those ornaments. She squealed as he lifted her up onto his shoulders so she could reach higher on the tree. He would pick an ornament out and hand it up to her then she would direct him where to walk until she found the perfect spot for it.

Bella was surprised at how fast they made their way through the boxes. The last boxes were all personal ornaments belonging to each of the family members. Rosalie stopped when she pulled out a tiny piano ornament. She looked unsure as Bella saw the miniature instrument in her hands. Rosalie didn't need to say anything; Bella knew who it had belonged to. Carlisle and the others had frozen in place waiting to see how Bella would react.

She pulled in a deep breath and smiled before she stepped over to Rosalie, "Do you know the story behind this one?" she asked as she took it from her gently.

Rosalie nodded.

"Will you tell me?" Bella beseeched.

"It was actually from Esme. She had seen it in a window one day when Alice and I had taken her shopping. It was fifty-seven years ago. Edward had been more morose than normal and she had hoped it would make him smile." Rosalie laughed lightly, "She couldn't wait till Christmas to give it to him. Since she knew that he would pick it out of her thoughts the first time it crossed her mind. So as soon as we came home she was singing the Star Spangled Banner as she walked in and placed the box in his hand; never stopping the tune."

Everyone chuckled at the memory.

"Esme was never good at hiding her thoughts from Edward. So she couldn't even sing it in her mind without slipping which meant that she had to sing out loud." Rosalie finished.

Bella smiled brightly at the image, "Thank you Rose." She said as she turned towards the tree and hung the ornament right in the front.

Bella asked for stories from all of them as the ornaments came out. They each took turns telling the stories behind Esme and Edward's ornaments as well as their own. Then Carlisle handed her a small box. She looked up at him in question.

"It is your first addition to our tree." He explained as he opened the box for her and pulled out the crystal pair of swans that arced their heads together to produce the shape of a heart between their bodies.

Bella smiled and kissed him, "It's beautiful." She said as she hung it just to the left of the piano.

The couples came together in front of the tree to witness all of their hard work. Emmett quickly made his way over to the light switch and flicked them off. The room glowed with the warm colored lights shining from the tree. Bella saw its reflection in the glass wall making it look even more magical. No one said anything. They just enjoyed the moment.

~AVitD~

It was two days before Christmas and Alice, Rosalie and Bella were heading into town for some last minute Christmas shopping. It was fun to spend time with just the girls. They laughed and joked and teased Alice about her choice in music. There was only one major mall in the area and it was nearly a three hour drive, but it didn't feel like that as the friendly banter continued.

They insisted that Bella have an early lunch when they got there so she would have the energy for Christmas shopping 'Alice style'. Bella had a sandwich and fries in the food court and then they were off. They had gone to five stores when Alice cold stopped as a vision hit her. Rosalie and Bella circled her and started talking so no one would notice. When Alice came out of it she got that knowing look on her face.

"What did you see Alice?" Bella asked.

"We need to get you a dress."

"A dress?"

"Yep. And I know just where to go." Alice said as she turned Bella and pulled her into a surprisingly chic boutique in the middle of the mall.

Alice went through the racks till she found exactly what she was looking for. It was a plum colored long sleeve wrap dress. It was simple with a deep V-neck. Bella was about to protest, but she knew how much Carlisle loved this particular color on her. So for him, she would try it on. It fit her perfectly and hugged her curves in a sensual way without looking cheap.

Rosalie found her a pair of low heeled pumps and a pair of earrings with tear drop diamonds on the end of a long dangle. Bella protested but Rosalie insisted that she accept them as an early Christmas gift.

Five hours later they were on their way home. Bella fell asleep in the back seat of the Hummer when they were about an hour out. Five hours of shopping with Alice was enough to exhaust anyone.

When they got home Carlisle was already out in the garage to meet them. He had missed Bella terribly all day but had taken advantage of her absence to get in a good hunting trip with the guys. He opened the back door and found his sleeping angel. He threaded his arms gingerly underneath her and carried her into the house.

As he laid her on the bed she stirred awake.

"Carlisle?" she questioned in a raspy voice.

"Shhh. You are home sweetheart. Are you still tired or possibly hungry?"

She stretched out like a cat. Carlisle tried but failed to not stare at her breasts as she arched her back pushing them forward.

"Hmmm. Hungry." She replied.

Carlisle welcomed the distraction of her voice, "Then let's get you something to eat."

He walked Bella into the kitchen and kissed her temple as she sat at the table and watched Carlisle make his way quickly around the kitchen throwing together a quick snack of some tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.

He set it in front of her, and she kissed him sweetly in thanks.

As she ate he took the opportunity to ask her what he had contemplated all day.

"Bella, would you like to go out with me tomorrow evening?"

Bella smiled at how sweet and unsure he seemed of himself. She reached across the table to grab his hand, "Of course I will."

He smiled and pulled her hand to his lips to kiss it gingerly.

~AVitD~

The next afternoon, Bella had just finished working out on the elliptical and was walking to her room to take a shower. She opened the door to find Alice and Rosalie sitting on her bed.

"What are you two doing? You both looked like the cat that ate the canary."

"We're here to help you get ready for your date tonight with Carlisle." Rosalie smiled.

Alice jumped up and started herding Bella into the washroom before she could protest, "Now go get in the shower and don't take all day. We only have a couple of hours to work our magic."

She closed the door behind Bella then she and Rosalie started giggling. Bella stood in the middle of the washroom for a moment. _Giggling vampires are never a good sign of things to come._

Bella showered enjoying how the hot water loosened up her muscles. She scrubbed, buffed and shaved before washing and conditioning her hair. She was excited for her date with Carlisle tonight. They had spent a lot of time over the last couple of weeks together. Touching and kissing and talking on the beautiful gazebo that he, Jasper and Emmett had built. It was one of her new favorite places to be. She couldn't wait for the weather to warm up so she could spend hours out on the old fashion swing. The intricate scroll work was incredible and they had strung up tiny white lights inside the peaked ceiling which gave it a dreamlike ambiance. Even when she had to go in, she loved to sit by the window and look out at it.

As Bella continued to lather her hair, she thought about some of the conversations she and Carlisle had shared. He asked her all about her childhood and her life before moving to Forks. He told her about his favorite places and times in history.

She smiled to herself as she thought about their most recent conversation where he had told Bella all about his time in Ireland. He had told her about the castles and how green the entire country was. He went on to say how amazing the people were and how vibrant the night life was.

'_I'd love to go there someday.' Bella mused._

'_Then we will go there, together.' He promised._

"Hmmm someday." Bella hummed quietly before she was surprised by a loud knock on the door.

"Stop daydreaming Bella. Time is ticking away!" Alice called to her.

"Alice!" Bella admonished, "You scared the hell out of me!"

"What? You were scared by a vampire? I'm shocked." Her tinkling laughter rang out in the washroom before she closed the door.

"Stupid pixie-vamp." Bella mumbled.

"I heard that!" Alice called out from the bedroom loud enough for Bella to.

"I meant you to." Bella replied and was greeted with another round of laughter.

After drying off she found the new plum colored bra and matching thong on the counter top. She cringed at the non-assuming undergarments because she had never worn a thong. She always thought they looked exceptionally uncomfortable. _I mean, come on, who the hell wants a perpetual wedgie?_ She sighed and decided to give it a try. She slipped them on and was surprised at how comfortable they really were. She put on her robe and walked into her room; her hair still wrapped in a towel.

"Alice, you always get to do her nails and make-up. You do the hair this time, let me do the coloring."

"Fine Rose, just keep it light and simple." Alice conceded.

"I know how to apply make-up Alice." Rosalie scowled.

"Hello," Bella stood waving her hands at them, "Bella Barbie here. Do I get a say in any of this?"

The girls looked at her and said, "No." Then began laughing again.

_Well at least they agree on one thing._

Rosalie led Bella through the house to her room with Alice skipping behind them. Bella sat in the chair in front of the huge mirror in her ensuite. Alice handed Bella a bottle of water and had a plate of fresh fruit waiting for her. Rosalie turned on her iHome and the sounds of 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA filled the two rooms. Bella choked on her water.

"ABBA? Seriously Rose?" Bella asked between coughs.

"What? Their sense of style was hideous, but the music is awesome."

Bella laughed again shaking her head in disbelief. Alice just bounced her head back and forth as she released Bella's hair from the towel and began to blow it out. Rosalie sat on the floor as she painted Bella's toes a similar shade of plum to her new undergarments. The two vampires sang in unison to every song that played.

An hour later Carlisle was waiting in the living room. No, not waiting, pacing would be a more accurate description of what he was doing. He worried his hair as he made another pass by the fireplace. Jasper came into the room having sensed Carlisle's unease. Carlisle paused in his next circuit and took a deep breath. He looked up to where Jasper was standing and gave him a grateful smile.

"Carlisle, you need to relax. If you were human, you would most likely have a stroke or go into cardiac arrest any moment." Jasper said in his slow southern drawl.

Carlisle sat and rested his elbows on his knees clasping his hands together. Jasper sat across from him continuing his flow of calm and relaxation to the man in front of him. He didn't ask Carlisle why he was so anxious, he knew. It was ironic that Jasper had unceasingly looked to Carlisle as a leader, but never as a close friend or confidant. Carlisle had always turned to Edward or Esme for those roles. With their deaths, Carlisle had turned to Jasper quite a bit more over the past year. _Wow, has it been almost a year already? So much has changed._ Jasper continued to keep his silent vigil with his friend. Carlisle took a deep breath and met the steady gaze across from him.

"Thank you Jasper."

Jasper nodded. Carlisle did not need to articulate what he was thankful for. Jasper somehow knew.

"You know that even though you never asked for it and we would never expect you to change your intentions based on our approval or disapproval, that we all want this for both you and Bella." Jasper said softly.

Carlisle nodded, "Thank you. You are right. It would not change my mind, but I am grateful for your support as I am sure Bella would be as well."

Emmett came bounding in from outside to see the two men staring intently.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just keeping Carlisle company while he waits for Bella."

"Ahh, that's right. The 'big date night'." He said with air quotes. "Well, let's have a look at you."

Emmett looked Carlisle over. He was wearing a custom fit Italian suit in black. He wore a crisp white button down with a silver satin tie that had a slash of red in a diagonal design. It was finished off with a scarf the same color of the tie.

"Hmm…lose the scarf. It makes you look old." Emmett said as he crossed his arms over his massive chest. "I mean she knows you are older than dirt, but you don't need to look it."

Carlisle was about to defend his scarf when all of their heads turned at the sound of a door opening followed by Bella's fluttering heartbeat. He stood up and quickly whipped the questionable material off from around his neck and tucked it behind a pillow on the couch.

His eyes began at the floor to take in the sweet little black pumps with the plum accents that accentuated and lengthened her slender legs to the hem of the dark plum wrap dress that secured itself to her body in a way that made him ridiculously jealous of fabric for the first time in over three hundred and fifty years. The neck line dipped to show off her exquisite cleavage and long neck where he watched her pulse tap out a slightly accelerated beat.

Her hair was down in soft curls except a piece over her left ear that was held back by an ornate hair comb that reminded him of a peacock tail. The stones matching the shade of her dress perfectly.

He couldn't bring himself to do or say anything. He was rendered speechless by her incomparable beauty. It wasn't until he felt a stiff elbow, courtesy of Emmett, jab him in the ribs that he was reminded of where he was. He cleared his throat and stepped forward. He bent his body forward in a gesture long forgotten to take her manicured hand into his. He kept his eyes locked on hers as his cold lips pressed against the warm flesh on the back of her hand. Bella's heart skipped a beat; Carlisle heard it along with the others.

"Isabella, you look simply breath taking tonight." He said as he stood back up without letting go of her hand.

Bella blushed, "You look very handsome yourself."

They stood and stared at each other; lost in the moment and completely unaware of the rest of the family standing by watching them. Rosalie left the room only to return to Carlisle's side. She cleared her throat quietly to garner his attention. He turned reluctantly away from the beauty in front of him to see Rosalie holding a black velvet hooded cape. He smiled and nodded in thanks. He released his hold on Bella's hand to take the cape and kiss Rosalie on the cheek.

He walked behind Bella and opened the warm cloak to drape over her shoulders, "Shall we?"

Bella tried to answer, but her words were lost in her throat so she nodded instead.

He offered her his arm and she happily entwined hers with his. He walked her to the door and opened it as she stepped out. He looked over his shoulder at the two smiling couples behind him.

"Don't wait up kids."

He heard their chortles as he closed the door behind them. He released Bella's arm and offered her his opposite hand as his arm reached around behind her to guide her down the walkway to the waiting Mercedes. He opened her door and held her hand till she was sitting comfortably, shutting her door before he was around to his side. He had used the automatic starter when Rosalie's door had opened so the interior was a comfortable seventy-two degrees.

Carlisle sat down in his seat and looked over at the incredible site of his love by his side.

"So, do I get a hint of where we are going?" she asked playfully.

She was doing her best to hide her nerves and her never ending urge to say 'to hell with going out' and beg him to take her to bed. He looked absolutely delicious in his tailor made suit. Bella didn't know fashion, but she knew that she had never seen anything sexier than Carlisle dressed to the nines.

He smiled and had to stop breathing for a moment to compose himself as the scent of her arousal drifted to him. "We are going to a place called Manos. They have an excellent menu and tonight they have a special treat. They are having a live band play."

Carlisle's eyes lit up with excitement when he told her and she smiled brightly in return. She didn't know Carlisle was into listening to live bands, but as long as he was with her, she was up for anything. Carlisle turned on the radio and let soft Christmas music fill the car as he headed out on the roadway.

The drive was pleasant as Bella regaled Carlisle of her day with the girls and non-stop ABBA music. He laughed and explained how ABBA was a long standing tradition with the girls since their music was first released.

Bella looked at his outfit once more and realized something was missing. "Carlisle, don't you normally wear a scarf when you are dressed up?"

He shifted in his seat, "I thought it looked a bit out of style." He offered as an explanation.

"Oh," she sat quietly, "I kinda like them. They look debonair on you."

He internally cursed himself for ever listening to Emmett.

They soon pulled up to the restaurant where a valet was standing in wait to open Bella's door. Before he could offer her his hand to stand up, Carlisle was there.

"Thank you. I've got this under control." He said as he took Bella's hand in his and helped her to step out of the car.

She smiled at Carlisle not even noticing the way the valet stared at her appreciatively. Carlisle brought her hand to his mouth but instead of kissing the back, as he had earlier, he turned it slightly and kissed the inside of her wrist. He smiled at the look of desire she gave him before he looped her arm through his and escorted her into the restaurant.

Manos was decorated in dark tones giving it a very intimate ambiance. Carlisle helped Bella off with her cloak and handed it to the hostess as he gave her his name.

She greeted them both and introduced them to their waiter who bowed slightly and led them to their table. Carlisle held out her chair as he had done the day of their skiing trip. Bella got settled and began to look around; noticing their table was at the edge of a dance floor. She began to question it when she saw the _band_ take their place on the small stage across from her over the dance floor. This was not the type of band she had expected.

They looked like a mini orchestra. There was a piano, along with several woodwind and string instruments. The band leader stood up in front of the musicians and then they began to play 'I Love You for Sentimental Reasons' and Bella's heart nearly stopped. She sat in awe as she listened to the beautiful sounds that floated throughout the room. She turned and smiled at Carlisle who had been watching her intently the entire time.

The waiter gave them a moment before handing them each a menu. He offered them the specials and asked what they wanted to drink. They both opted for red wine tonight as the waiter took his leave.

"Carlisle, this is amazing. I have never heard live music like this before." Her voice filled with awe.

"I'm glad you like it. They only do this a couple of times a year. Do you like this era of music?" he inquired.

"Very much. I love Ella Fitzgerald and Nat King Cole and the music by George Gershwin is some of my favorites."

Bella enjoyed her dinner of Chicken Alexander while Carlisle seemed to 'dig into' his Prime rib. He offered Bella several bites which she hummed in delight at the taste. The smile seemed to have a permanent placement on her face, and it made Carlisle's heart fill with such unending joy to see her like this.

When they finished with their dinners, Carlisle had said something quietly to the waiter and discreetly slipped him a tip. Bella quirked her head to the side in question.

"And what was that little covert conversation about?"

He smiled widely at her, "Just a little surprise I asked for some assistance with."

Bella wanted to call him out on his cryptic answer but she was in too good of a mood. She could feel the flush in her cheeks from the wine as she had drank both hers and Carlisle's. Then an old familiar tune began to come from the band.

A beautiful woman stepped in front of the orchestra and began to sing.

'_There's a saying old says that love is blind,  
Still we're often told, "Seek and ye shall find."  
So I'm going to seek a certain lad I've had in mind.'_

Carlisle stood and offered his hand to a stunned Bella.

"May I have this dance?"

She bit her lip nodding as she whispered, "Yes."

He helped her to stand and led her to the center of the dance floor. There were several other couples dancing slowly to the melodic tune so she did not feel like the center of attention. Carlisle knew better, as all eyes followed the gorgeous woman on his arm as they made their way across the polished floor.

He took her right hand in his left as her other hand rested on his shoulder and his right slipped around to the small of her back.

'_Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet;  
He's the big affair I cannot forget.  
Only man I ever think of with regret.  
I'd like to add his initials to my monogram._

_Tell me, where is the shepherd for this lost lamb?'_

He began to lead her into a simple box step in time with the music. She didn't think she could be any more in love with this man if she tried. Carlisle's golden eyes shown down on her chocolate ones with such love and affection it could be crushing if it wasn't so comforting. He pulled her closer as they swayed to the lyrics that seemed so fitting to them.

'_There's a somebody I'm longing to see,  
I hope that he turns out to be  
Someone who'll watch over me.  
I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood.  
I know I could always be good  
To one who'll watch over me._'

Carlisle's mind, of its own accord, took him back to when he first found Bella in the meadow. He wasn't sure at the time if he would be able to save her. He shuddered at the thought of not having her in his life; in his arms; in his heart.__

Bella sensing the dark turn Carlisle's thought had taken raised her hand up to cup his cheek, "What's wrong Carlisle? You look sad."

It took him a minute to find the words he wanted to say. He smiled softly, "I thought I had lost you."

She stroked his cheekbone with her thumb, "Where would I go? You _are_ my family." They continued to dance as Bella went on, "If it wasn't for you, I don't think I would have been able to find my way back. You saved me. You pulled me back from the abyss. I love you Carlisle, with all my heart."

The air caught in his lungs for a second. He was floored by this incredible woman he held in his arms.

'_Although he may not be the man some girls think of as handsome.  
To my heart he carries the key.  
Won't you tell him please to put on some speed,  
Follow my lead, oh, how I need  
Someone who'll watch over me.'_

"Bella, if it wasn't for you needing me, I think I would have fallen into madness. It is _you_ who saved me. You gave me a purpose. I love you beyond all reason."

With that he stopped dancing. He stepped back from Bella but held onto her left hand as he knelt down on one knee in the middle of the dance floor and reached into his jacket's inner pocket and pulled forth a light blue box which Bella recognized as being from Tiffany's. He opened the box and presented her with a two and a half carat Lucinda diamond with Trilliant side stones in a platinum setting. Bella gasped as her brain caught up to the events playing out in front of her.

Carlisle looked up into her beautiful eyes and hoped beyond all hope as the words left his mouth.

"Isabella Marie. You are my love and my life. You have restored my heart and soul when I believed them to be lost. I will love you and watch over you till the end of my days. Your joy will be my joy. Your sorrow will be my sorrow. But I will spend every moment of every day ensuring that you feel nothing but love and laughter till the end of time. Would you make me the happiest man to ever walk this earth and marry me?"

She looked into the eyes of the man who has been her friend, her savior, her confidant, her protector and guardian angel. He has nurtured her, cared for her and loved her without ever asking for anything in return. He is the man that she knew she wanted to spend eternity with. And so she took a deep breath as she held tight to his hand and spoke the only word in her heart.

"Yes."

**A Final A/N**

My dearest readers, reviewers and story pimps,

I am sorry to say that I feel this story has tested its boundaries as far as I dare to on this site. I have heard too many horror stories about other authors being attacked because their stories have crossed the line between 'M' and 'NC-17'. This story means so much to me and I need to write it as I feel it should be written. As such, there will be explicit sexual content throughout the remainder of the chapters. That being said, this is the last chapter for this story that I will post on this site. I will not create a watered down version to post here just to adhere to a lower rating. I'm sorry if this upsets people, but this is my story and I must do what I feel is right.

This was not an easy decision for me to come to. I feel so lucky to have been welcomed into this community with open hearts and minds. I have loved every review I have received and the personal messages have touched my heart. Thank you to all of you who have embraced this story. I will continue to post this in its entirety over on The Writers Coffee Shop where I am also listed as 'Nickeyd26'. If you are 18 or older and are so inclined, I hope you will continue to read this story over there.

Thank you.

All my best,

Nickey


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